


Flung Out Of Space: A Star Wars Story

by hope_savaria



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (mostly), Canon Compliant, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Flashbacks, Holdo Lives!, Holdo Maneuver, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Original Character Death(s), Past Leia Organa/Han Solo, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-10-13 16:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 66,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17491634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope_savaria/pseuds/hope_savaria
Summary: A long time ago in a galaxy far,far away….After desperate escapes, General Leia Organa and Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo each embark on their own quest to find one another again. On the way, they encounter new planets and old friends, remember their past moments together, and hope for a peaceful future.Playlist for the fic: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL89Eh1trfA6-mtN3HNUWQKNcRbvjLOPmC





	1. The Leave Taking

**Author's Note:**

> The title and a line in this story are from Carol (2015), starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, based on the book The Price of Salt, by Patricia Highsmith. There is also a planet in this story (Arda) whose geography and characters are drawn from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth legends. This is definitely not a crossover with either of those, but I wanted to give credit where credit was due. :)
> 
> I'll be posting chapters pretty much every week through the end of March! Kudos and comments are much appreciated. <3

A long time ago in a galaxy far,  
far away….

 

 

 

 _Overture: “Main Title” from Star Wars (1977), by John Williams_  
_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D0ZQPqeJkk_

 

 

STAR  
WARS

Flung Out of Space:  
A Star Wars Story

Luke Skywalker has called for an end to the Jedi! In desperation, young Jedi, REY, tries in vain to turn Kylo Ren to the light, and Supreme Leader Snoke is killed.

Under siege, internal conflict in the Resistance is at a peak. Eventually, General Leia Organa and the rebels flee their flagship, enabled by the martyrdom of VICE ADMIRAL HOLDO.

The RESISTANCE mounts a final defense on Crait against the FIRST ORDER, but without the help of other rebels in the galaxy, Leia’s hope is dwindling….

 

***

_Wine Pairing: Goats Do Roam Red Blend – South Africa_

***

General Leia Organa had lost so many people, and it was difficult to imagine losing more. At the same time, loss was _the_ predominant theme of her life. It persisted alongside her hope, a constant presence. Loss was all too expected, and as she looked into Amilyn Holdo’s eyes from the transport ship leaving for Crait, she fought against numbness. This incredible person deserved her grief, her _public_ grief. And yet, she found herself staring blankly out of the window, unable to shed even a single tear. Not today, not _yet_. She gripped the walking stick in her hands until her knuckles were white and she could feel the rings on her fingers digging into her skin. It was strangely quiet in the transport. Poe was still unconscious. It was almost like privacy, and yet still her eyes were dry and her jaw was set. She leaned her forehead against the window, that fragile barrier between the finite and the infinite. As if her thoughts were sucked away by that vacuum, Leia’s mind wandered far away from Crait, Amilyn Holdo’s stern resolve and icy focus leading her back to another dark hour of little hope, but which (for Leia) held joy, too…

 

**************************************************************************************************

 

“ _Destroyed?_ ”

“Jedha…”

“Yes, a mining accident they said…”

“Well, they would.”

“But what…?”

“ _Destroyed?_ ”

“Yes, that’s what I heard.”

“All of it? All of Jedha?”

The whispers continued until all that could be heard was the single word repeated over and over: “Jedha, Jedha, Jedha.”

At only nineteen, Princess Leia was one of the youngest politicians in the Senate, yet she commanded considerable respect for her diplomacy, and – among those sympathetic to the fight against the Empire – for her unwavering covert commitment to the Rebel Alliance. In the hours after the destruction of Jedha city, a crowd of diplomats gathered in the Fourth City on Alderaan. In the midst of this crowd came Amilyn Holdo, along with a few other Rebel soldiers, scoping out the overall opinions of the Senators and sending hourly reports back to the Rebel Headquarters on Yavin 4. Leia and Amilyn had been friends for over three years. They had talked about everything together – astrology, first loves, but also the fight against the Empire and their own hopes for their respective roles in the Rebellion. While Leia had been testing the deeper waters of politics, Amilyn had asserted herself as a useful and creative Captain in the Army of the Rebellion. Even the establishment politicians took notice of her, for she was hard to miss, with her tall stature and brightly colored hair. Most importantly, she was trustworthy, and despite her youth, she had already been sent on several dangerous missions to the Outer Rim and the Unknown Regions.

This was a profoundly more serious occasion than the last time Leia had seen Amilyn. Barely an hour before, an Imperial missive had been received telling them that Jedha – the ancient city of the Jedi – had been destroyed in a mining accident. Leia wasn’t fooled. She had her own intelligence from the Rebel Alliance. Jedha had been destroyed by the Empire’s new space station, which – it was said – may have the capability to destroy an entire planet. When Leia saw Amilyn across one of the crowded (and much more somber than usual) conference rooms, her friend’s ice-blue eyes held a deeper, older light, touched by grief and fear. Leia sensed she was not the only one in the room who knew the truth about the holy city. Leia sat with a small group of Alderaan politicians. The wrinkles on their faces knit and unknit as they debated the minute details of some stuffy trade agreement that really didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered to her after Jedha. How could they carry on with these petty disagreements after the destruction of a whole city? It had shaken her to her very core.

She grabbed a second drink from a passing droid and looked towards where Amilyn was standing, surrounded by grim soldiers. Her hair wasn’t a bright color that day (this was unusual), for the Rebellion often required stealth, but Leia was struck by her appearance nonetheless. Amilyn had always been tall, but she seemed even taller given her skinniness (food supplies were scarce in the outer reaches of the galaxy). She seemed older than the last time they’d seen one another. Amilyn caught her eye and Leia raised her glass in her direction. Amilyn shot her a strained smile.

She wanted to talk to Amilyn, to _really_ talk to her, without a room full of diplomats between them, where spies were plentiful and rumors spread faster than fire. After all, most of the people in this room (including her) were officially members of the so-called “Imperial Senate;” one could never be sure who secretly supported the Rebellion, who pretended to support the Rebellion when it suited them, and who was secretly basking in the glory of the Empire’s destructive strength. She returned Amilyn’s smile and sighed. It was good to know that someone else was just as frustrated with the pretension and the false normalcy as she was, but Amilyn’s presence was far from comforting. Knowing she was there, just ten yards away…it made her more nervous than anything else. It had been too long. What little interest Leia had in the discussions around her evaporated entirely as she turned away from Amilyn, her mind still full of those ice-blue eyes.

She managed to last about half an hour more before she excused herself, downing the rest of her drink as she made for the door. Catching Amilyn’s eye again, she tilted her head towards the door. Amilyn nodded and turned to make her farewells. Leia kept walking, knowing Amilyn would catch up. She waited in her speeder on the landing platform, spinning the glass she’d accidentally taken from the party between her fingers. Amilyn appeared less than a minute later with half a plate of hors d’œvres in her hand. She didn’t speak as she climbed in next to Leia. The Royal House of the Fourth City was situated in the mountains just to the west of the city, and the journey didn’t take long. The roar of the wind drowned out any possibility for conversation, but now that they were headed somewhere, Leia felt less nervous. The mountains loomed through the fog and snow glistened on the high peaks. The sun was low in the sky behind them when they arrived. Leia had been staying here alone for some time. Her father was away, secretly leading the Rebellion. Her mother was home at the Royal Palace, far away in the capitol city of Aldera. The House was built into the side of the mountain. Huge windows overlooked the city, which stretched with glittering lights towards the sea in the distance.

“I hear you’ve taken on more responsibilities,” said Amilyn, when they’d settled in one of Leia’s chambers with more wine in their glasses than they would’ve poured in happier times. The dappled lights of the city streamed in through the large stained-glass windows, making Amilyn’s hair shine with many colors. _Back to normal_ , Leia thought to herself. She smiled slightly and nodded. Amilyn took a sip of wine and gazed out of the window. Despite the darkness of the hour, Leia admired her long figure, stretched out in the upholstered window seat. It was comforting to see her lying there. The days before the revelation of the Empire’s Death Star had been fraught. Leia had felt anxious, as if she knew something horrible was approaching, and now she had a distinct sense that the peace of this moment would not last. Terrible times were rolling in, like a storm over the sea. Amilyn turned to look at Leia again.

“So how are you coping with it all?” Amilyn asked. “I assume you’re making yourself indispensable to the cause, overachieving like you always do.”

“Something we have in common, I think,” said Leia, looking sideways at the young leader beside her. Amilyn raised her glass as though toasting Leia’s words and sighed. She swung her long legs off the window seat and sat gazing into the room now, looking at – but not really seeing – the ornate white and silver décor that characterized the Princess’s chambers. They sat like that for several minutes, Amilyn with one elbow on her thigh, Leia curled in the corner of the window seat watching her with a growing sense of nostalgia for each passing second of peace.

“Amilyn,” she finally said quietly, “what’s happening out there? What did you see?”

Amilyn turned her head to face her. “Nothing new,” she said. She sipped her wine. “The Empire is…well, it’s horrible. A whole squadron of mine was killed in a battle, and I was supposed to lead them. We won the day, but there was no victory party, just funerals. Most days it’s difficult to see any hope for the Alliance. And now with the Death Star…” She looked back at her wine glass, swirling the liquid around and around.

Leia moved closer and put an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “There is hope, Amilyn. There’s someone out there who can help. I’ve had dreams lately…” She paused, and then continued, “I don’t know if you’ll believe me…”

Amilyn giggled softly and caught Leia’s eye. “You spend half your life telling me that astrology is foolish and you expect me _not_ to believe in the power of dreams?”

The knot of nerves in the pit of Leia’s stomach loosened slightly. She withdrew her arm from Amilyn’s shoulders and sat back against the window. “Well,” she said, “there’s a boy I’ve seen in a dream. I don’t have details; I haven’t seen more than his face, but I saw him holding a lightsaber, like the old Jedi used to use. Not a red Sith lightsaber, a blue one. And in the dream, I knew he was going to help us.”

“A boy, huh?” Amilyn actually grinned, “a humanoid male?”

Leia smiled back. “It’s not like that,” she said with dignity, though her head spun slightly because Amilyn’s words had taken her back to a conversation many years before.

“Good,” Amilyn said quietly. Leia almost didn’t hear her; she was so caught up in the memory of what she should’ve said all those years ago. It was a moment before the word registered.

“Yes, I think it’s good,” Leia said. “The Alliance needs all the help it can get, and the return of the Jedi would certainly give us an edge.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Amilyn said slowly. She put down her glass on the platinum table that sat to the side of the window and sat upright, turning her upper body to face Leia. Leia looked down at her own hands and saw that her wine glass was trembling slightly. Her mind was racing out of control. A light touch on her left cheek brought her back to the present. She could feel Amilyn looking at her.

Two thoughts rose to the surface of Leia’s mind: _can I risk all our history?_ And then, _will I ever see her again after tonight?_ The anxiety she had been feeling, the sense of impending catastrophe broke over her like a wave. Suddenly, it didn’t matter what her relationship to Amilyn was. What mattered was that Amilyn was there, willing to hear her fears, her hopes. Since stepping into the spotlight, since childhood really, Leia had learned to suppress her emotions, to act cool under pressure. Now however, miles away from the conference rooms and strategy meetings, she allowed her vulnerability to rise to the surface. Tears welled in her eyes, and, without looking at Amilyn, she pressed her forehead into her shoulder. Amilyn wrapped her arms around her, silently acknowledging everything Leia couldn’t express in words.

Sometime later, she finally met Amilyn’s gaze. Leia saw concern there, in her bright blue eyes, and also the same fear and anxiety she felt reflected back to her. Amilyn moved her hand from Leia’s shoulder and wiped away the tears left on Leia’s cheeks. Even sitting down, Amilyn was more than a head taller than Leia. She had to bend her neck to plant a kiss on Leia’s forehead.

“You have more hope than I do in this rag-tag Rebellion,” Amilyn whispered against Leia’s skin. “If what you say is true and there really is someone out there who can help this cause, we’re both going to be called back to our duties. I believe this fight will get worse before it gets better, and if the Alliance makes it through to victory over the Empire, we two might not live to see it.”

“Amilyn, don’t say things like that!” Leia said sharply, speaking for the first time, and wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “We have to make it through. We must.” She met her friend’s eyes again, fiercely this time, like a challenge.

“We might not.” Amilyn’s voice shook a little, but she sounded resolute, holding eye contact. “We might not make it, and that’s why I’m so glad we found one another here on Alderaan at this moment. We are meant to do great things in the days to come, and it’ll be easier now. I don’t feel so lonely anymore, now that I’ve seen you. I think I’d forgotten I had friends. I won’t forget again.”

“Are we just friends?” The words tumbled out of Leia’s mouth before she could stop them. She blushed, looking away from Amilyn, out into the darkening city. Wordlessly, Amilyn took her left hand in both of hers, caressing it lightly.

“Aren’t you the Princess whose orders I’m supposed to follow?” Amilyn said in a voice that told Leia she had a smile on her face. “You tell me.”

Leia turned back to look at her. There were fewer lights playing in her hair now that the city was going to sleep, but Amilyn’s eyes were still bright. Leia reached out with her free right hand and cupped the side of her face. “No,” she said, almost inaudibly. “This is something different, something deeper than anything I’ve felt before.”

Amilyn raised Leia’s hand to her lips and kissed it gently. Then she turned her hand over and kissed the skin on the inside of Leia’s wrist. Without really planning to, Leia leaned forward and kissed her, full on the mouth. The kiss was gentle and it didn’t last very long, yet it sent tingles of electricity down to Leia’s fingertips. When they broke apart, Leia stood up and held both of Amilyn’s hands.

“Would you like to stay here tonight, with me?” There was a tiny note of hesitation in her voice. Even now she wasn’t sure if she was overstepping, but she hated the idea of staying in this house, alone but for the droids and a few guards.

Amilyn looked up at her with a genuine smile that broke through the darkness of the hour like the clang of a bell. “Yes, I would, Your Highness,” she said.

The fear hadn’t passed, but sharing the anxiety together seemed to make everything easier. Lying in bed, Leia and Amilyn clung to one another long after they had fallen asleep, and Leia awoke to those bright blue eyes and to the knowledge that she loved Amilyn Holdo…

 

**************************************************************************************************

 

Across the room, General Organa saw Poe stirring. Her attention snapped back to the present as he rose clumsily to his feet and began to realize what had happened. She saw the panic on his face, and sighed. He deserved an explanation.

“Poe.” She said his name quietly, yet he turned in her direction, and Leia saw the desperation in his face. His words tumbled over one another, but she ignored them, looking out at the planet that had come into view as the transport moved away from the _Raddus_. Poe stopped and stared.

“The mineral planet, Crait,” D’Acy said next to them.

Poe was sat silently as Leia explained the plan to him. They would sneak down to the surface while the First Order was distracted. There was a good chance they wouldn’t notice the small transports as they bombarded the flagship.

“That could work,” Poe admitted, catching her eye.

Leia understood his distrust. How many times had she been betrayed? She knew his fear, knew his good intentions. And Amilyn had known, too.

“She was more interested in protecting the light than she was in seeming like a hero,” Leia said quietly. Poe couldn’t know how deeply true those words were, and Leia kept her voice steady. He looked flabbergasted, impressed, and slightly ashamed.

Leia moved to the opposite side of the ship to watch the _Raddus_. The others around her talked quietly. All seemed well. Perhaps they would escape after all. She had been against this plan, sure that the First Order would notice, but Admiral Ackbar and Amilyn had said there was a chance, and D’Acy had agreed that it was their best hope. Leia took a deep breath and tried to feel at peace with Amilyn’s sacrifice. The _Raddus_ was running on fumes, and soon the First Order would break through its shields and Amilyn’s life would end with the ship’s. But this was all for them, for the Resistance to escape and survive.

All at once, the transport shook and screams came from near the console. Leia turned and saw several holograms from the other transports flicker to nothing. They’d been seen! The First Order had caught them, and now the game was up. They would all burn then, with Amilyn. The explosions of the other ships shook Leia’s transport. She expected the end at any moment, and yet Crait _was_ drawing nearer. Perhaps…

Then she saw a slight movement from the _Raddus_ far away. Amilyn had shifted the flagship’s course. The hyperdrive engines on the ship blazed suddenly, and Leia knew what was going to happen before it did. The explosion was surprisingly brief. A bright blue light cut through the blackness and then the fires began, one after another, spreading from the incision the _Raddus_ had made in Snoke’s ship. _Like her eyes_ , General Organa thought, _ice blue and yet capable of such fire and passion._ She realized she was on her feet again, with no memory of having stood up. Beside her, Poe gripped her hand. The emotion rising in her body was gratitude, not grief. Gratitude for Vice Admiral Holdo’s sacrifice, but also for her darling Amilyn: friend, lover, confidant. In the dark expanse of space, Leia could still see those blue eyes, and for some reason the wave of loss that washed over her when Han died didn’t come for Amilyn. _I had fewer regrets with her_ , Leia acknowledged to herself. _I felt it for him because there was so much I should’ve said. But with her…well, we said it all. We didn’t hold back._

General Organa stepped away from the window, from those blue eyes that would never really be gone. Like so many times before, she pushed her feelings down and tried, again, to lead. Vaguely, she remembered her words to Poe after he’d woken up, spoken mere minutes ago through a haze of repressed emotion: _She was more interested in protecting the light than she was in seeming like a hero._ That summed up Amilyn, really. She’d always acted in the shadows of others, an often-invisible force that had saved them again and again. She never seemed to care about rank or about medals. Leia would give anything to have her back in this most desperate hour; Amilyn had always been exactly what the Resistance needed, and that was exactly why she had stayed on the _Raddus_ , why this whole plan had worked. Leia wondered if Amilyn had known all along, had planned this final, dramatic move ever since Leia had agreed to the fueling of the transports.

Less than half of the transports made it to the old base on Crait. Leia offered to keep watch. It wasn’t normally her role, but she needed a few moments of solitude away from everyone else. She never thought she’d be back here of all places. This is where all of it had started all those years ago, for this had been her parents’ base in the early days of the Rebellion. It was here that they had first explained their clandestine plans, and it was here that she had first radicalized her own mind and soul to stand against the Empire. The salt flats spread out in front of her as far as she could see. Salt crystals hung in the air like snow, stinging her eyes and skin. She pulled the collar of her cloak up over her nose and mouth, but she couldn’t bring herself to even blink her eyes against the abrasive air. All too soon, she saw red dust appear over the horizon. Turning back indoors, she gave the order to close the door with a distinct feeling of trapping herself – trapping all of them – in a tomb.

The advance ship of the First Order slid over the threshold just as the door clanged shut, sending sparks and debris in all directions. Poe rushed forward, and Leia followed. It seemed that, at the very least, their end would be quick. But something was odd about the ship. No one fired back as the bolts from the Resistance blasters bounced off the damaged hull. Then hands appeared – not the armored arms of stormtroopers, but real, human hands.

It wasn’t the First Order, after all. It was Finn and Rose, those brave, beautiful idiots who hadn’t trusted Amilyn. They’d tried to take matters into their own hands. They’d risked everything that she and Amilyn had built together. Worst of all, their recklessness had probably led to the First Order’s discovery of the transports. Anger rose for a fraction of a second in Leia’s chest, but relief at their survival overpowered the feeling. She and Amilyn had made the plan together – or at least, she _had_ agreed to Amilyn’s plan – and Amilyn’s martyrdom had been the final piece of the puzzle, a piece that Leia had refused to accept, but that Amilyn had recognized with grace and strength. She felt all this conflict in a moment, and when it passed, she was left with a spark of hope. It was time to act, and every moment of fear and every decision would be a gift to Amilyn, who had gotten them all this far. It was time to act.

“Use my personal code,” Leia told Lieutenant Connix. “If there’re any allies to the Resistance…it’s now or never.” The signals were sent, one after another.

“People believe in Leia,” Finn said. At other times, Leia would’ve cringed at that, for the Resistance was bigger than any one leader. Today however, she needed to feel less alone, and she appreciated Finn’s words. She kept looking around, expecting to see a glimpse of Amilyn’s purple hair by the computers, or leading the factions out to the trenches. Each time this happened, her resolve increased, but so did her exhaustion, and she leaned more heavily on her walking stick. People swirled around her, and outside she could hear the ski speeders rushing towards the oncoming First Order. It didn’t take long for their luck to change. The spark of hope that Amilyn’s sacrifice had ignited in her heart seemed to dwindle.

“We’re taking heavy losses.” She heard the words, but what else could they do? _If this is to be our end_ , she thought, _then all the more reason to keep fighting._ Poe ordered the speeders back to the base, and they regrouped, trying to find a bright spot in the darkness, facing outwards towards their doom. The door shuddered and broke open leaving a fiery hole through which the bright white light of Crait streamed in blinding rays.

“Our signal’s been received, but no one’s coming.” D’Acy’s words were like cold water.

Everyone turned to look at Leia. Their eyes showed fear, and she wished there was something she could do, but this time there was nothing. She’d been the constant for all of them. The one who carried on, who persisted. The Resistance _had_ believed in her, and – foolishly, arrogantly – she had thought the rest of the galaxy did, too.

“We fought to the end, but the galaxy has lost all its hope.” Leia whispered. It was supposed to be to herself, but no one else was speaking and the cavern was silent except for her low voice. She looked at their faces and sighed. “The spark is out.” She sank into a chair. Amilyn had died in vain. They’d run out of road.

Suddenly, she felt something: a tremor in her heart that she sensed came from somewhere – or someone – else. She looked up from the floor and saw a silhouette, not in the broken door of the base, but in the shadows of the caverns that led back to the mines. It was Luke. For a moment, she thought he was visible only to her, but the others were looking around now, and the looks of blank shock on their faces told Leia that they saw him, too. As Luke stepped into the light, Leia knew he wasn’t really there, but he _was_ there in the way that he was _always_ present to her, and this time, everyone else could see him, too.

“Luke.” He stood in front of her now, looking careworn. His eyes were kind. “I know what you’re going to say,” she continued. “I changed my hair.”

“It’s nice that way,” he said, sitting down in front of her. “Leia, I’m sorry.”

“I know…I know you are,” she said. _Sorry for what?_ She thought. _For her son’s turn to the dark side? For leaving? For Han’s death?_ His eyes seemed to reply: _For all of it_. “I’m just glad you’re here…at the end,” she said aloud.

“I came to face him, Leia. I can’t save him.” His words reflected the sadness she felt, the pain at the prospect of being buried alive by her own son.

“I held out hope for so long,” she said, shaking her head. “I know my son’s gone.” It was the first time she’d said it to anyone but herself.

“No one’s ever really gone.” Luke held out his hand, and she took it. When he let go, Han’s dice from his beloved Millennium Falcon lay in her palm. She didn’t know what she had expected, but it wasn’t this. Her mind had been fixed on Amilyn and the imminent destruction of the Resistance, not on Han. _Too many losses._ Luke got to his feet, and Leia fought the urge to hold on to him and make him stay. He bent and kissed her forehead, his hands resting on either side of her face. She had a bad feeling about this parting, but she sensed this was something he had to do. And it was their only hope.

The sight of Luke walking out to face the First Order alone brought tears to Leia’s eyes. Poe and Connix stood by her as they watched the barrage begin. Leia sensed Ben’s anger in every shot that was fired, and each one seemed to pierce her heart. Suddenly, Finn appeared through the burning door of the hold, dragging Rose, who was unconscious. Medics swarmed around them and Leia seemed to watch without really seeing. Her mind was with Luke on the salt flats below.

“He’s stalling so we can escape.” Poe’s voice broke through her thoughts. “We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down.”

Leia stared at him. Amilyn had gotten through to him, after all. For a moment, Amilyn seemed to look back at her through the dim shadows of the mining caverns with the smile she’d worn during their last moments together on the _Raddus_ , her eyes full of hope in the young leaders of the Resistance. All at once, Leia understood a part of what Amilyn had been trying to tell her in that moment. There were leaders among them. Suddenly Leia noticed that all their faces were turned towards her. Poe must have given an order, and they all sought her approval. She pulled herself together.

“What are you all looking at me for? Follow him!” Something like satisfaction made Leia smile. Amilyn had left her mark on the Resistance. She wouldn’t be forgotten. Han’s dice fell from her hand as they left the base and made for the twisting tunnels at the back of the cavern. She didn’t stop to collect them. She’d never believed in luck, and Han would always be with her anyway, just as Luke had said.

Far ahead, Leia could see glints of light as the crystal foxes that lived in the caverns led them through the tunnels. Poe was counting on them to know a way out, but no rays of sunlight broke through the stones. Finally, they emerged into a huge cave and watched as the foxes scurried upwards over an avalanche of boulders blocking their path. Poe yelled in frustration and rushed forward. Leia stayed back. Her mind was on Luke again. A moment of reckoning was approaching on the salt flats. She could feel it. For a moment she closed her eyes and saw him, standing with purpose on the white crusty ground. His feet made no mark in the thin crust of the planet, but all around him the red footsteps of her son shone like blood. She chose not to look towards Ben.

“The Rebellion is born today!” Luke was saying, “The war is just beginning. And I will not be the Last Jedi!” Even as he spoke, a bright light broke through the rocks in the cave, bringing Leia abruptly back to her surroundings. Rey stood before them, holding the rocks high in the air for them to pass. The Resistance climbed out carefully, blinking in the light as their eyes adjusted from the darkness of the mines. The miracle of their escape seemed to loosen everyone’s tongues, and everyone was talking at once, scrambling over rocks and tripping over crystal foxes as they hurried towards the Millennium Falcon. At the entrance to the ship, Rey turned and looked back at her, sadness in her eyes.

Leia sensed it, too. The confrontation on the plain far below was over. Luke had faded back to his own reality, and all at once Leia knew what would happen before it did. For one eternal second, his spirit lingered, but then he seemed to blow away on the wind, becoming one with the Force, with everything. She felt his passing as clearly as she had felt Han’s. For Luke, the moment was peaceful, inevitable, a new beginning rather than an ending. Han and Luke were at peace now, and here she was, left behind. Leia remembered what she told Amilyn all those years before: _There’s a boy I’ve seen in a dream…I knew he was going to help us._ The boy with the blue lightsaber had come to save them all one last time.

“Luke is gone – I felt it,” Rey said as Leia sat down next to her on the Falcon. She was the only other person who really understood the significance of this moment, for she, too, understood Luke. “But it wasn’t sadness or pain,” Rey continued, “It was peace and purpose.”

“I felt it, too,” Leia told her.

“How do we build the Rebellion from this?” Rey asked, with a note of desperation, looking around at the bedraggled Resistance.

Leia smiled. “We have everything we need.” She said it to reassure herself as much as Rey.

“Can you still feel him?” Rey asked quietly after many minutes of silence. Leia wasn’t sure she had an answer. She reached out with her mind, thinking of Luke, and sure enough warmth like electric current surged through her.

“Yes,” Leia replied. “I can sense him, but it’s different than it was before.”

Rey nodded. “That’s how it’s always felt to me,” she told Leia, “when I’ve lost people, I mean. Something about them…changes, but they’re still there, somewhere.”

Leia pondered her words. She’d never stopped to think about all the deaths she’d experienced. She thought of Alderaan and her parents, of the many colleagues who’d given their lives for the Rebellion, of Han and of Luke. Each time, the Force responded to her thoughts, offering some small consolation that the energy of those she loved and respected still existed in the fabric of the Universe. Then she came to Amilyn. As before, she reached out, but this time she felt nothing. Instead, a vision of Amilyn appeared in her mind. She was asleep in a dark place. Leia could see that she was breathing, but there were no other signs to offer some clue of her wellbeing. With a gasp, Leia pulled herself back to the present. She rested her chin on the side of her fist and noticed her hand was shaking.

“What happened? I’m sorry if…” Rey looked concerned.

“No…it’s all right,” Leia assured her, putting her hands back in her lap and fiddling with the rings she wore. “It’s nothing.”

That was true enough, for Amilyn’s energy was elusive to her. Were there ways of dying that took a soul out of the Force completely? _No_ , Leia thought, _there can’t be._ There was only one explanation. Something outside her control carried the answer to the front of her mind. _Amilyn isn’t dead. She’s alive._ She had thought she felt Han’s death and not Amilyn’s because of her regrets, but she didn't have regrets with Luke, and his death had been clear to her. Rey’s test had confirmed it. Death left a mark in the Force, and Amilyn couldn’t be dead because she would know. _The Force is strong in my family,_ Leia thought with a smile. _Maybe it’s time to begin my own training, and anyway, I’m getting too old for these battles._ She looked around at what was left of the Resistance and sighed. _Am I being too impulsive? Luke came to save us_ …But then another voice in the back of her mind interrupted, _…and he would want you to discover the Force for yourself…and after that, he would want you to find her. Luke knew better than anyone that it’s time to pass the baton._

Hours later, the Millennium Falcon circled down towards a tiny moon, far outside the scope of the First Order. The abandoned base – an old outpost of the Rebellion that Amilyn would’ve known well – was hidden in caves far beneath the uninhabitable surface of the moon. Most of the stars were obscured by the dusty rings in which the moon orbited around a swirling gas giant. Leia looked out at the unforgiving surface below. This was worse than Hoth where they’d at least had an atmosphere. Without visible stars, the darkness of space seemed to press over them like a shroud.

But this was exactly what they needed: a place to hide. Chewbacca guided the Falcon through a maze of dark tunnels finally arriving at the remains of the base. Connix and Poe donned oxygen suits and got to work on the life-support generators while the rest of them waited in the Falcon. Through the windows Leia could see the silhouettes of a few old ships secured to the walls and dark shapes here and there that must be doors leading to sleeping quarters, hospital bays, and strategy rooms. All at once, light blazed through the room and a breeze lifted the decades-old dust on the floor as air filled the base once more.

Over the following days, weapon and medical stores were analyzed, ships were repaired, computers were updated to understand new codes, and signals (once again using Leia’s personal code) were sent out across the galaxy. The sleeping quarters on the base were small, but plentiful, for it had been built to accommodate several battalions at a time. Leia wondered how much time Amilyn had spent here, where she had slept, and how she had managed with the lack of visible stars, or even sky. A week after arriving on the tiny moon, Leia returned to the thoughts she’d had on the Millennium Falcon and made her decision: it was time to leave, time to forge her own path. In secret, she began preparations and slowly extricated herself from the center of the rebuilding effort. Relevant information she’d long held secret was delivered to the people who needed to know, and every code she knew was transferred into R2-D2’s memory systems. He would keep them safe.

When she told everyone, gathered together around a long table to eat, the looks of shock on the faces of her companions were almost enough to make her change her mind. She could see the disappointment in their expressions, though most of them tried valiantly to hide it. She knew they would all think it was just wishful thinking, believing Vice Admiral Holdo had survived, so she told them she was leaving to discover the ways of the Force, to follow the path that Luke and so many others had trod.

“You can do that here as well as anywhere,” Poe countered, indignantly.

“The Force isn’t just about the Jedi anymore,” Rey agreed. “It’s about what you do with it now! _Here!_ We still need you.”

“No,” Leia said quietly, but firmly, “The Resistance is depleted, but there are plenty of leaders here.” Poe rolled his eyes and looked away. “You’re the future,” she continued, looking at each of them and trying to convey how much she cared, “not me. It’s not my fight anymore.” There was silence.

“Luke thought you’d carry on,” Rey said with certainty. _Was that true?_ Leia thought.

“Maybe,” she said, “but he was the one who always wanted me to explore the Force. So, I am ‘carrying on,’ but on my own this time.” Everyone seemed to by trying to think of an argument to change her mind. Finn sat with his head in his hands.

“Is this what she would’ve wanted?” Poe’s voice was hard.

“Who?” Leia asked, taken aback.

“Holdo. She sacrificed everything for _this_ , for _you_.”

“I…” Leia couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes this time. He couldn’t know how cruel his words sounded, and yet they stung nonetheless. “I’ve made my decision,” she continued, almost coldly. She couldn’t explain it to them now, but maybe one day, they’d understand. She chose to look at Rey, trying to tell her without words that this – because of Luke and the Force and Amilyn – was something she had to do. Rey’s eyes softened, and she gave Leia the tiniest of nods. Slowly, the tension broke. Everyone seemed to realize that, no matter what they said, Leia was leaving, and it was better for all of them to part in friendship and hope, rather than in bitterness.

Later that day, after the farewells had been said, with tears from some and feigned stoicism from others, Leia climbed aboard the small ship that would take her away. She was not altogether surprised to see Chewbacca blocking the entrance to the cockpit, and she smiled at him.

“I really am leaving, you know. It’s no use trying to make me stay.”

He made a noise that seemed to say, “I know.”

“Well…” she said, after a moment, “good-bye, Chewie. It’s been…” She couldn’t quite find the words.

He made a loud noise that interrupted her search for the right thing to say.

“No, Chewie, you should stay here and look after everyone.”

He didn’t move. She sighed and looked around the small ship. “There’s nothing I can say, is there,” she continued, “that will make you stay?”

He shook his head.

“Fine,” she said, making up her mind. “I could do with a decent copilot.”

Chewie swept her off her feet in a hug that nearly crushed every bone in her body. Despite the uncertainty of the days ahead and her previous determination to go alone and unaided, she was comforted by his presence on the ship. They set off together, leaving the Resistance in capable hands.

***

 _Interlude: “I Belong Here Next to You,” by Ellis_  
_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOL3h1AJTSM_


	2. The Escape

_Wine Pairing: Toad Hollow Unoaked Chardonnay – California_

 

***

 

“Now,” said Leia, with a business-like tone, “it’s time to board your transport.”

Amilyn looked at her and understood the hope in her voice. Leia had agreed to the plan eventually, but Amilyn had noticed her inability to make eye contact when Amilyn had mentioned staying behind on the _Raddus_. Maybe Leia thought that an order would be enough to make Amilyn go with them to Crait, but their roles were all mixed up now, and Amilyn had made her choice. No one – not even Leia, her one true love – could change her mind.  

“Somebody has to stay behind and pilot the cruiser,” she said, trying and failing to inject the same business-like tone into her own words. She knew Leia caught the slight hesitation in her voice. She tried to contort her face into a sympathetic smile.  

“Too many losses,” Leia said, breathlessly. “I can’t take anymore.” Her eyes were wet, and Amilyn wavered, feeling tears pricking the corners of her own eyes.  

“Yes, you can,” Amilyn said quietly. She took one of Leia’s hands in both of her own and gripped it tightly, trying to convey some intimacy that couldn’t be said in words, not with everyone else around them, busily loading the transports. “You taught me how.”

They stared at each other for a moment. Amilyn saw resolve in Leia’s eyes. She had yielded to Amilyn’s plan, understood at last that there was nothing she or anyone else could say that would change her mind.

“May the Force…” they began at the same time and it was comical and sad at the same time. Amilyn managed a real smile.

“You go; I’ve said it enough,” said Leia.     

“May the Force be with you…always,” Amilyn said, and she smiled. Through all the pain of the day, she still managed that. Leia _had_ said it enough, but perhaps she hadn’t heard it enough. She was so often the one to keep everyone else’s morale up, even in the most desperate circumstances. And now here they were, at the end of the line. It seemed only right that she should be reassuring the General, her Princess.

She squeezed Leia’s hand once more between both of her own. She knew she couldn’t do more, couldn’t say more, but she hoped the touch would provide some reassurance all the same. But then the moment was over, and all she could see was Leia’s face moving away from her into the blackness, looking sad and old, yet more beautiful than ever. They held eye contact until the very last second, and then Amilyn turned away. She knew Leia would watch the _Raddus_ until the end ( _her_ end), but she couldn’t be idle. Final preparations had to be made. The empty, dying ship creaked and groaned around her as she walked the corridors back to the command center. The sounds were almost deafening at times, and yet Amilyn felt she’d never been somewhere so silent. She watched the transports move slowly towards Crait, and felt as if it was she who was speeding away from them. Far away, where no one could follow.

“Godspeed, rebels,” she whispered. The words hung in the stagnant air.  

She had to play the game to the end. No one knew about the final plan except D’acy and Leia, and Amilyn hadn’t given Leia time to talk her out of it, though she’d tried – right up until the last moment. Everyone else thought she was just a decoy. She watched the scene play out, completely separate from the events unfolding outside of the windows. One way or another, the First Order would almost certainly notice the fleeing ships. Sure enough, minutes later the _Supremacy_ ’s guns swiveled towards the transports. She heard the panic from the Resistance as the First Order began to target them, felt cold dread in her bones, as one holo-communication after another fizzled to nothing. Everything was happening in the way they’d known it would, and now her martyrdom was the only move left in the game. She was already dead, cut off from all those she cared about, cut off from the greatest love of her life, whose eyes, Amilyn knew, were still watching the ship, waiting for the moment they both knew was inevitable. It was time for Amilyn’s final act. She’d kept this part private; even Leia didn’t know. She would fly the cruiser at lightspeed through Snoke’s ship. She hated that thing. If the Resistance was crumbling, then Amilyn would make sure the First Order was, too. She had made the choice to die as she had lived: standing against the darkness to the very end.

All at once, from nowhere, a new plan began to grow in Amilyn’s mind, built on one great statement: _I have to survive._ It wasn’t her own survival instinct kicking in at the moment of truth; it was her love for Leia, who had already lost too much. _I have to survive for her. For both of us_. There was still an escape pod left: Leia’s. No one except the General had the authority code to release it, and Amilyn had a feeling Leia would not have had the strength to do it. She wouldn’t have been willing to play such a direct role in Amilyn’s death, no matter how noble the cause. And Amilyn knew the release code. She knew because Leia had still been incapacitated less than an hour ago when she had taken command and become acting General, and she knew because how could the code be anything else? But Amilyn had a duty to carry out, a task that had to be done to ensure Leia’s safe landing on Crait. There had to be a way out. The adrenaline of the moment coursed through her. There was so little time left.

Amilyn had no time to reprogram the cruiser’s main computer to allow for the hyperdrive to start up on its own, but there was still one thing that might work. In the corridor outside the command center, there was a small supply closet, mostly containing extra parts for droids and weapons, but in the very back Amilyn found what she was seeking: plain copper wire. She had less than two minutes to carry out her plan, less than two minutes before the fuel reserves dipped so low that a jump to lightspeed would be impossible, less than two minutes to save Leia (Princess, friend, lover, General) from yet another loss. She primed the controls for hyperspeed, leaving only the main lever switched off. She moved the ship into position. _One minute to go and then it will be too late. I’ll have to run._ Her mind was clear and her hands were steady as she tied the copper wire to the lever. Careful to leave enough slack, Amilyn put the coil of wire over one arm and took a deep breath. _30 seconds to get to the escape pod._ She ran. It wasn’t far but she could feel the mounting pressure. If this didn’t work, she would’ve wasted time for nothing. But somehow, she knew she had to try. _For Leia!_ she thought.

The corridors were dim now that power was running out, but she made it to the pod with moments to spare. For a second that contained an eternity, she gazed at Leia’s quarters. Everything shone silver and white, like the Royal Houses so many years ago on Alderaan. But all of this would be gone in moments, and there was no time for sentiment. She allowed herself a small smile as she keyed the code – her own name – into the release pod’s computer. The last loop of copper wire around her wrist, Amilyn Holdo’s hand shook the tiniest bit as she pressed the eject button. For a moment, it was as if she could see her own hand moving the hyperspace lever into place. There was a flash of blue light, and then nothing but darkness…

 

***************************************** 

 

The final days of Alderaan were beautiful and fleeting. Amilyn didn’t leave Leia’s side, nor was she expected to. After all, Leia the diplomat needed to know all she could about skirmishes in the Outer Rim, and who better to ask than young leader, Amilyn Holdo? Leia the young woman, in contrast, needed reassurance, and Amilyn was there through the long nights of approaching doom. Amilyn needed Leia’s hope, and Leia needed Amilyn’s unwavering resolve.

Less than two days after their reunion, Leia's father returned to Alderaan. Amilyn had always liked Bail Organa. He was honest, optimistic, and level-headed. Long ago – Leia had told her – he had been closely connected to the Jedi Order, and this intrigued Amilyn more than anything. Nowadays, most people thought the Jedi were all but extinct, but Bail Organa told a different story. He believed in the Force, and that made Amilyn trust him. He arrived at the Royal House in the early morning while fog still hung around the mountain tops. Leia greeted him at the door with an embrace. Amilyn noticed wrinkles of preoccupation on his face.

“The Rebellion is making a bold move against the Empire,” he said, once they were all seated in the long dining room. “Even now, it’s begun.”

“What’s happening?” Amilyn interjected into the conversation, before Leia had a chance to respond.

“I’m not entirely sure,” he said, taking a sip of water and wiping his slightly sweaty brow with the back of his hand, “but I think we can all be certain that things are heating up.” He glanced at Leia with great concern, as if steeling himself to say something he dreaded.  

“What do you need?” Leia’s voice was strong and steady. Amilyn looked across the table at her and felt an overwhelming surge of affection and admiration. She knew better than anyone that Leia’s fears ran deep, yet here she was, putting herself forward with purpose and grace.

Bail sighed and took her hand. “I wouldn’t ask this of anyone else, but I trust you with my life – with all our lives, in fact.”

“Just tell me,” Leia said kindly. “Please.”

“I need you to find someone. I think,” he paused. To Amilyn, it seemed he was having some sort of internal debate about what exactly to say. “I think you are one of the only people who can convince him to come out of hiding. More than that, I can’t say. Not yet.”

“Will he help the Rebellion?” Amilyn asked, unable to disguise her interest in the conversation.

“Oh, yes,” he replied. “His name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. He is a Jedi – or was – and he served as a General in the Clone Wars. I haven’t seen him in a very long time, but I’m sure I would’ve heard if he’d died. He’s no friend to the Empire.”

“Where can I find him?” Leia cut right to the chase.

“Tatooine. We’ll have to move quickly and join up with the Rebel fleet as soon as possible. There’s a small chance that we will be able to collect data of vital importance to the Rebellion, and if so, please have Kenobi deliver it to me back here. I’ll accompany you to the fleet on Yavin 4, but then I’ll have to come back and warn Alderaan. You’ll be working with Captain Antilles, remember him?”

Leia nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“War is coming, and we’re underprepared.” Bail put down his empty glass and looked sadly at Leia. “You know I don’t like putting you in danger, but…”

“I know.” She said patting his hand. She caught Amilyn’s eye across the table and then looked back at her father. “I need a few minutes to…get things in order.”   

Leia’s chambers were shining with morning sunlight, yet Amilyn barely noticed. Here where so much had been said through words and tears and touch, Amilyn would have to say goodbye. She understood, of course, that there was no way around it, but something deep inside her wanted to yell and scream and tell Bail Organa that he could not possibly take her away because Amilyn loved her more than anything else in the galaxy.

“Are you going to find the boy with the blue lightsaber?” Amilyn asked, trying to add levity to her own despair.

“No, I don’t think so,” Leia replied with a smile. “I think this General Kenobi is someone else.”

“Why do _you_ have go?” Amilyn tried to keep petulance out of her voice with little success.  

“Because he trusts me, but there’s something else, too. I think Obi-Wan Kenobi might have some information for _me_ specifically…I don't know, it’s just a feeling I had.” She pulled on a plain white dress and white boots. “Father trusts you, too,” Leia added. “He wouldn’t have said all that in front of just anyone.” She began winding her hair into two intricate buns on either side of her head.   

Amilyn sighed and looked out of the window. “I’ll have to help, too. When your father returns, I’ll be expected to assist him. I expect that’s why he kept me in the room.”

“It appears we’ve made ourselves all too indispensable,” Leia said, wrapping her arms around Amilyn’s waist. Amilyn’s heart beat faster, and the fear of losing Leia made her hands shake. “May the Force be with you…always.” Leia whispered into Amilyn’s shoulder. Amilyn bent her head and kissed her briefly, surrendering to one last moment of bliss before the oncoming storm.

Amilyn made her way back to the center of the Fourth City alone. The sound of the speeder drowned out her own thoughts. For once, she was glad to not be able to hear herself think, and when she arrived she blamed the wind for the tears in her eyes. She sat alone on a bed in the soldiers’ quarters, trying not to think about Leia, but managing to think of nothing else. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

“Come in.” The door opened and her commanding officer entered the small, dim room. She got to her feet with something less than her usual enthusiasm.

“Captain Holdo,” he said with a nod. “You’re needed on Bail Organa’s taskforce. He’s just returned and has asked for you in particular to accompany him to Aldera. Join him in five minutes on the landing platform.”

Any emotion Amilyn felt for the assignment was quashed under formality. “Yes, Sir,” she said. The Commander left.

The day couldn’t have been more beautiful. The craggy peaks of the mountains stood out in sharp contrast to the blue sky and birds flew hither and thither in the clear air. Bail was waiting for her next to several X-wing starfighters accompanied by four other captains.

“We need to act quickly,” Bail said, “Alderaan has been all too passive, but now there’s no choice but to defend ourselves. The Empire has proven that it will give no quarter, and I have no doubt that Darth Vader” – Amilyn heard the disgust in his voice – “and others will have no issue with killing civilians that stand in their way. We’ve heard what happened on Jedha. The ancient city of the Jedi was destroyed, wiped of the map. There’s no telling the full power of that weapon, but Galen Erso’s daughter said it could destroy entire planets. That’s what we’re up against.”

“So, what’s the plan, sir?” one of the other captains asked anxiously.

“We’re flying to Aldera to alert the Queen and the governors to the situation,” Bail explained. “From there, I’m not sure. You will await my orders.” Amilyn nodded along with the other captains.

“Why the X-wings, sir?” one captain asked.

Bail sighed. “Should the Death Star appear…well, you fly like hell away from this planet. That’s an order.” He looked directly at Amilyn as he said it, and she had a strange feeling he knew that Leia would never forgive him if she were killed.

The convoy of X-wings set off eastwards. The ships were really made for interplanetary travel, and the atmospheric engines sounded a bit rusty. Amilyn brought up the rear of the group, trying not to glance up at the sky every few seconds, waiting for the dreaded weapon of the Empire to appear. The speed of the starfighters was such that they arrived in the Capitol City by mid-afternoon. Heavy rain was falling and clouds obscured most of the sky. It was warm and humid, and Amilyn felt claustrophobic.

There was little news from the Rebel fleet, and much of it was very confused. Amilyn sat awkwardly alongside the other captains, trying to make herself invisible and unnoticed as Bail Organa, the Queen (Leia’s mother), and advisors from various regions of the planet talked over what was to be done. No one seemed to be able to decide on anything. Late in the day, a coded message came through saying that the Rebel fleet had collected data plans from the Imperial Archive on Scarif, thanks to a group of brave volunteers. They had paid with their lives, every last one of them, for the Empire used the Death Star again, this time on its own archive. Admiral Raddus of the Rebel Fleet was also dead. The data plans had been given to Leia, and she was now on her way to Tatooine. Her ship, _Tantive IV_ , wasn’t in the best condition, but Tatooine was close to Scarif, and if they hurried…

Amilyn couldn’t listen anymore. Too much death, too much left to chance. Eventually, someone ordered the captains to bed, and Amilyn went gratefully, though sleep was the last thing on her mind. She lay in a stupor on her bed, unable to think of anything but Leia. Had she made it to Tatooine? What of the Jedi, this “Obi-Wan”? No one seemed very clear on any of it. When she roused herself the next morning, the warm spring air was blowing through the window and birds were twittering false peace to one another. The day passed with no further clarity and no word from Leia. At night, Amilyn returned to her room again and lay sleepless on the blankets without even removing her shoes.    

Suddenly, a knock on the door brought Amilyn to her feet. The door opened before she could reach it. It was Leia’s father.

“You have to go,” he said. The words tumbled over each other in his haste. “Now!”

“What?” Amilyn followed him out into the hall, almost running to keep up with him as he led her to the x-wings on the landing platform. It was the dead of night, and it was raining again.

“The Death Star.” His voice was panicked. “It’s here. We got a report from the other side of the planet.”

“But that’s thousands of miles away,” Amilyn reasoned. “It can’t really…”

“I don’t know,” Bail said, “You have to get out of here. Go to the Unknown Regions,” he pressed a data chip containing coordinates into her hand. “And then find Leia. Tell her…” His voiced faltered. He cleared his throat. “Well,” he continued, “You’ll know what to say.” Amilyn met his gaze and nodded. She scrambled into the x-wing without another word. There didn’t seem to be any words for a situation like this.

“May the Force be with you, Amilyn,” he said. Amilyn could only nod again, for a hard lump had risen in her throat and she felt tears burn behind her eyes. He seemed to understand.

She blasted away from the landing platform without looking back. The R4 unit in the back of the x-wing beeped anxiously as they flew into empty space. Sure enough, there was the Death Star behind them, visible on the other side of Alderaan. Its size was incredible, a colossus from the Dark Side, here to wipe out the last bastions of freedom in the galaxy. Despite the terror it inspired in her heart, it drew her eye and held it. Its macabre elegance was as fascinating as it was grotesque. She waited, idling, checking the systems, entering the coordinates, and watching the Death Star out of the corner of her eye. Eight beams of green light issued suddenly from a flat disk on its surface. They met each other for the briefest of moments and then continued towards Alderaan. And then there wasn’t any Alderaan. In the blink of an eye, the whole planet was gone, blasted into rock and dust and sparks.

A primal urge to flee overcame Amilyn. She punched the hyperdrive of the tiny x-wing and jumped away from the explosion, trusting to the coordinates that Bail Organa had given her mere minutes ago. He was dead now, she was sure, along with the Queen and her fellow captains…and everyone else. The mountains that had shone when she left the Fourth City and the birds twittering that morning in the Spring air…all of them were gone. And Leia. Did she know? Amilyn felt certain she did, felt sure that the choice of planet was no accident. If Leia knew about Alderaan, then she must think Amilyn was dead, too. Loneliness and despair threatened her self-control as Amilyn sped through hyperspace towards who-knew-what fresh hell.

The hopeless part of Amilyn’s mind believed that by the time she made it to the hidden base in the Unknown Regions, there would be no Rebellion left. How could there possibly be? The Death Star was far beyond anything they could’ve imagined, even in nightmares. Leia had been right about dark days ahead, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Despite her fears, Amilyn found the Rebel base in perfect condition when she arrived. It was a little shabby perhaps, but that was to be expected given how difficult it was to get supplies out here. Amilyn saw looks of surprise on many faces as she descended into the small, hidden hangar. She sighed, dreading the prospect of having to tell them all what had happened.

“Captain Amilyn Holdo,” she said, saluting the commander of the base, a stocky, brown-skinned man, whose eyes had wrinkles at the corners and whose uniform showed Amilyn that he ranked as a Colonel in the Rebel Alliance. “I’ve just come from Alderaan. Well…” She stopped short and looked around at the faces in front of her. She closed her eyes for a second. Leia would never let her emotions obstruct truth at a time like this, and Amilyn wouldn’t either. She opened her eyes and continued. “What used to be Alderaan. The Empire has destroyed the planet.” Blank shock and confusion showed on the faces around her.

“It’s just…gone?” one voice said.

“Yes,” said Amilyn gravely. “Bail Organa’s last act was to send me to this base. He saved my life.” She handed the commander the coordinate chip with the House of Organa seal on the back.

“What of the Princess?”

“I…” Amilyn faltered, trying not to betray that her worry for Leia more than professional. “I don’t know for sure. She was off-world at the time of the explosion on a mission to Tatooine.”

“We got word that the Princess was captured, and I was hoping you’d know more,” the commander said grimly. “Given the circumstances, she may have been aboard the Imperial Base when it happened. If so…”

“If so, that may be why they targeted Alderaan?” Amilyn finished his thought for him. “Yes, I think so, too.” The commander sighed. A few nervous whispers hissed around the group. Amilyn was suddenly so tired that she felt herself sway slightly where she stood. Her exhaustion didn’t go unnoticed by the Colonel.

“We have food,” he said, “and you can stay here as long as you like. My name is Colonel Nemo Verne, and this is the Rekata Prime base. Though it’s not officially my place to promote you, I _am_ in need of a commanding officer. The position is yours, if you want it.”

“I’ll think about it,” Amilyn said, nodding. She ate some soup in their canteen, but she could barely taste it. The shock of the Empire’s power was catching up with her again. Later, she lay awake for hours again wondering – yet again – about Leia. Was she still alive? Were they holding her for ransom? Or had they executed her, just as they’d executed her planet? Was this her life now, moving from one place to the next but never really _being_ there? Would her mind be fixed forever on matters far outside her control? She was exhausted, but she dreaded the nightmares that would come with sleep. Without Leia by her side, there was no one to protect her from the depths of her own mind, to remind her that there was still love and light in the world.

Hours later, Amilyn realized she must’ve dozed off, for there was a knock on the door. She didn’t want to answer it. Every time she’d answered the door in the past few days, things had turned for the worse. Eventually, the knock came again, more urgently.

“Holdo?” Amilyn recognized the voice of Colonel Verne. She sighed, dragged herself off the bed, and opened the door.

“I’m sorry to disturb you.” She appreciated that he actually looked sorry. “We got good news from the Alliance Headquarters on Yavin 4, and I wanted to tell you. I thought it might…improve your day.” It occurred to Amilyn – vaguely – that he was kind.

“Yes, of course.” She followed him to one of the dingy briefing rooms.

“Here,” he said, offering her a cup of something hot. “You’ll be pleased to hear that Princess Leia of Alderaan has been rescued and has rejoined the Rebel fleet on Yavin 4.”

Amilyn looked up, hardly daring to believe his words. “Are you sure?” she asked, trying again to keep her tone professional.

“One hundred percent,” he assured her, with a smile. A weight lifted off her shoulders, and she sat up a bit straighter, remembering that this was still a briefing, and she was still a soldier.

“The Princess was scheduled to be executed by the Empire, and as we expected, she was forced to watch the destruction of her planet.”

 _So close to me!_ Amilyn thought regretfully, _within eye sight, practically_. Amilyn wished she had known sooner, but then, she would’ve tried to save her herself, and everything could’ve been much worse.

“An old Jedi, two young men, a wookie, and some droids arrived in the nick of time to save the Princess. The Jedi was killed, but Leia made it out with the others. One of the droids was carrying the plans for the Death Star, which the Princess was transporting when she was captured. I don’t know the full story; they just fill me in on bits and pieces.”

Amilyn nodded and cleared her throat. She wanted to ask if any of the men had a blue lightsaber but decided against it. She opened her mouth to ask something else and found that she didn’t really have anything to say.

“I’ll let you get some rest,” Colonel Verne said. “My offer for you to command the third squadron still stands. You can let me know what you think in the morning.”

Amilyn nodded again and then made her way back to her quarters, clutching the hot drink Verne had given her in her hands. The corridors and her small room looked brighter to her now she knew that Leia was safe, at least for the present. Maybe the assignment here with Verne would suit her, but all she really wanted was to return to Leia’s side. It was too much to think about tonight. She closed her eyes and let dreamless sleep engulf her.

Colonel Verne’s base was hidden under a methane ocean that covered much of Rekata Prime. The surface was so intensely cold that water was like stone and geysers spewed toxic gases into the atmosphere. The hangar could be accessed near the edge of a truly massive water cliff, standing up from the liquid methane like a grayish finger. It was a forbidding place. Amilyn had intended to take the next day to make her decision whether to stay and assist Colonel Verne, or to rush back to Leia. As much as she was tempted by the latter option, she had a feeling Leia would encourage her to stay. The promotion could be exactly the thing she’d waited for: an opportunity to rise higher in the Rebel Alliance – to lead like Leia, to lead _with_ Leia.

“So, out this far, what are the main objectives of the Rebellion?” Amilyn asked Verne in the canteen the next morning.

“Does that mean you’ll stay?” he asked hopefully.

“Possibly,” Amilyn said with a smile.  

“The main objective is recruitment. Apart from that, we try to block the Empire’s propaganda transmissions from reaching too many vulnerable people. All of our energy for transmissions goes into that, so we can’t really send messages to the Rebel fleet. They can get in touch with us, though, as you heard.”

“So, she doesn’t know I’m alive?” Amilyn said it without considering her audience.

“Who do you mean?” Verne looked confused.

“Leia.”

“No,” he said, “there’s no way she could know.” He took a few bites of food. Amilyn searched for a way to gloss over the moment, but before she could think of a change of subject, Verne asked, “You must be close with her?”

“Yes,” Amilyn said. It was no use denying it. “We did our pathfinding course together a few years ago as junior legislators.” That was true, and Amilyn hoped it was enough to throw him off the scent. It wasn’t really proper for her (a soldier) to be in anything other than a friendly, professional relationship with Leia (a Princess, and a prominent leader in the Rebellion).

“I heard about that group,” Verne said, impressed. “You had some close shaves.”

Amilyn nodded. She ate a few bites of food, which tasted much better today after a good night’s rest. A computer in the corner crackled with static and words began scrolling across the screen. Verne pushed back his chair and rushed over to read the incoming message.

“The Rebel fleet is planning an attack on the Death Star,” Verne said, returning to the table once the computer had fallen silent.

“Even with the data from Scarif, that seems like a futile mission,” Amilyn said. Surely, Leia hadn’t authorized such a ridiculous plan. 

“The plans from Scarif revealed a weakness in the base,” Verne explained, as the words continued to scroll by. “I think it might work.”

“I hope so. I guess we’ll find out soon.” Amilyn pushed her bowl away and took a sip of water. Her decision was made. Leia was doing her duty, and she would do hers. “I’ve decided to stay,” she said, meeting his eyes. “I think I can be useful here.”

The third squadron handled the maintenance of the base and its technology. Amilyn relished the work, and though the dark undersea base was far from comfortable, working on engineering projects left her mind free to dwell on Leia. Under other circumstances, it would’ve been unbearable (to think about Leia constantly and yet never see her), but with the Empire growing in strength, nothing in the galaxy made her feel the way she expected. Amilyn felt useful, and though she was lonely, the thought that everything she was doing was helping the Rebellion in some small way kept her spirits up. This was something she could do well, and she didn’t miss the front lines. Verne hinted that soon he might assign her to lead a recruiting mission to Jakku, or somewhere else on the edge of the Unknown Regions.  

She had to admit however that after a few days the novelty was beginning to wear off. As much as she loved machines, they didn’t make good friends. She missed Leia more than ever, she missed having colorful hair, and she missed the company of people who weren’t men. She never would’ve admitted it to Colonel Verne, but by the third day on Rekata Prime, Amilyn was deeply regretting her commitment to the base.

However, it soon became clear that she wouldn’t need to stay. Indeed, none of them would be staying very long. Amilyn was helping one of the hydroengineers with a process to melt the rock-solid water cliff into usable water when Colonel Verne appeared and ordered all of the commanders to gather in the strategy room off the main hangar. Amilyn excused herself from the engineers and followed Verne down the winding corridors, wondering what could have happened. Interested chatter among the other commanders told Amilyn this was far from an everyday occurrence.

“I have a new report,” Colonel Verne told them once they were seated around a large, metal table. Amilyn sat up a little straighter in her chair, trying to maximize her (considerable) height, and recognizing uncomfortably that she was by far the youngest and least experienced person in the room. “It’s good news,” Verne continued, “The Death Star has been destroyed. One of those boys who rescued the Princess was a damn good shot.” A murmur of impressed disbelief spread around the table.

“What’s next?” one of the commanders said, leaning forward in his chair.

“Oh, there’ll be plenty of pomp and circumstance, I’m sure,” said Verne. “There’re probably feasts and parties happening even as we speak.” Amilyn heard a small note of jealousy in his voice, and she had to admit that the idea of a feast made her mouth water. “Anyway,” Verne continued, “Once all that is over, the Rebel fleet will be moving to a new hidden base, and they’ve asked everyone to join them.”

“Why should we hide after such a victory?” asked the commander sitting next to Amilyn.

“It was a victory, but we took heavy losses,” Verne explained, “and the Imperial Army is still stronger. They can lose a thousand soldiers more easily than we can lose fifty. We need to rebuild.” Thinking back to the skirmishes she’d endured in the Outer Rim, Amilyn knew only too well the truth of his words.

“Where’s the new base?” Amilyn asked.

“The fleet is moving to the ice planet, Hoth. It’s in the Outer Rim, hopefully far from the Empire’s notice. They won’t expect the whole fleet to go somewhere so unforgiving.”

“Better than here, though, eh?” One of the commanders looked around with a smile, looking hopeful and relieved at the thought of leaving Rekata Prime.     

The news that she would see Leia again made Amilyn unexpectedly nervous. What did you say to someone (your best friend and lover) who thought you were dead? All through the preparations to leave, Amilyn tried to play out the conversation in her head, but Leia was too unpredictable. She didn’t know how she’d react to anything, so the conversations always ended with Amilyn imagining eight or nine different reactions, none of which really seemed like Leia at all. Despite her nerves, the prospect of leaving Rekata Prime made her happy, and ultimately, so did the thought of seeing Leia.     

When Amilyn’s squadron pulled into Echo Base on Hoth, they were surprised to see how much smaller the Rebel force had become. Many had died in the recent battles at Scarif and Yavin, and the need to rebuild was evident. Amilyn wandered the base, off duty for the first time in days, unsure of what to do with herself. She hadn’t seen Leia yet, not really – only a brief glimpse of her from the back of the squadron when the Princess welcomed them to Hoth. Leia hadn’t noticed Amilyn because the protocol kept them in helmets. Now the helmet was packed away, and Amilyn still couldn’t find Leia.

In the middle of the second day on Hoth, Amilyn sat alone in the canteen. She was desperate to see Leia again, but she also felt awkward. What if something had changed? What if one of these flyboys had stolen Leia’s heart? It could be an appropriate match.

Suddenly a voice interrupted Amilyn’s thoughts. “I thought you were dead.”

Amilyn looked up. It was Leia. Amilyn just looked at her and felt a lump rising in her throat and a burning behind her eyes. She made to stand up, but instead Leia sat down next to her on the bench and hugged her.

They clung on to each other a beat longer than was strictly necessary, holding a little too tight, breathing together for a second too long. They broke apart and Amilyn collected her thoughts. “From what I’ve heard, we’re both lucky to be alive,” she managed to say.

Leia grasped her hand on the bench between them and held on, stroking her thumb across Amilyn’s knuckles. “I thought about you the whole time, Amilyn,” said Leia. “When I was captured, I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing you again, and when they destroyed Alderaan, I thought I never would.” Leia’s voice trembled slightly and she looked down at their entwined hands. After a moment, she met Amilyn’s gaze again and cleared her throat. “That was the darkest hour” she said after a moment. “I knew they were going to kill me, but I didn’t care very much because you were gone, along with practically everyone else I’ve ever known. I didn’t even want to be rescued unless the rescue would ensure the survival of the Rebellion. Turned out it did.”

“Turns out the boy with the blue lightsaber was real all along, from what I’ve heard,” Amilyn prompted.

Leia sighed. “Yes, Luke is real. Real and reckless and a bit like me. I think you’d like him.”

“Sounds like it. What about the other one, the smuggler?”

“Han? Well, he’s all right, at least most of the time. I think he’s interested in me.” Leia looked sideways at Amilyn as she said this.

Amilyn’s stomach felt cold. “How do you feel about him?”

“I feel like he’s brave and handsome…and he’s got nothing on you!” said Leia with such surety that Amilyn felt sheepish about her moment of jealousy. She ate a few bites of the bland bread and nondescript protein on her plate. “There’s not much going on here at the moment, you know,” Leia went on after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “My life is more relaxed now than ever before. I was hoping we could spend some time together…just the two of us.”

Amilyn caught her eye and smiled. “I’d like that,” she said quietly.

Later on, Amilyn knocked on the door of Leia’s chamber. It opened and Amilyn found herself staring into the startlingly yellow eyes of a protocol droid who stood about a head shorter than her. “How do you do?” said the droid. “I am C-3P0, human-cyborg relations. The Princess was expecting you, please do come in and make yourself at home.”

Amilyn, slightly amused, entered the room. It was small, but it bore Leia’s elegant touch nonetheless. The chairs were stiff and cold, but a soft gray and black rug covered most of the floor. Upon closer inspection, Amilyn found that it was made of old poly-fill jackets like the ones worn by everyone on the Hoth base to protect against the cold. She sat on the rug with her back against a chair waiting for Leia and felt truly calm for the first time in months. Leia emerged out of the adjoining room carrying two cups of something hot. The steam floated up past Leia’s face making her cheeks flush pink in the warmth. She smiled at Amilyn, who stood up and took one of the cups, brushing Leia’s fingers as she did so.

 Amilyn sat back down on the rug and Leia joined her sitting cross-legged across from her so their knees touched. “What is this?” She asked, indicating the cup in her hands.

“Oh, it’s just hot water,” said Leia. “There’s not much else here. But I threw in a shot of something that I found in the kitchen when we arrived. I don’t know if it was supposed to be alcoholic originally, but it certainly is now.” Amilyn giggled and took a sip. The drink really wasn’t very tasty, but Hoth was so cold that she appreciated it all the same. Amilyn watched Leia over the rim of her cup. It was hard to take her eyes off her. She was so strong and beautiful, and she was _here_ , which was miraculous.

“I missed you a lot in the Unknown Regions,” Amilyn said finally. “Leading a squadron is a pretty lonely task. Everyone else is friends with one another, but I’m the authority so they’re not friends with me, and besides, I arrived out of nowhere and nobody knew who I was. The other commanders are so much older; I didn’t feel connected to them at all. Colonel Verne was very kind, but I didn’t see him much.”

“I know how you feel,” Leia replied. “Everyone here expects me to lead them, to step into my father’s shoes. It’s been nice to have Luke and Han around, but they have so much energy all the time, always looking for adventures. They remind me of when I was younger and I thought it was so exciting to be fighting the Empire. Now it just feels like a job, a good and worthy job, but a job nonetheless.” Leia took a sip of her drink and coughed slightly on the bitter, fermented flavor.

They sat for several minutes, savoring each other’s company. Amilyn didn’t want to break the silence. It was peaceful and full of understanding – understanding and security that she had missed on Rekata Prime. They sipped the hot drinks, leaning into the shared space. Leia set her empty cup onto one of the hard chairs with a soft clink of metal on wood. She uncurled her legs and twisted around, laying her head in Amilyn’s lap. Amilyn put her cup on the other chair and moved her right hand to Leia’s head. Her hair was as intricate as always, braided in a single circle that wrapped around her head like a crown. She stroked the flyaway hairs at Leia’s temple, smoothing them into place, running the tips of her fingers around Leia’s ear towards her neck. She could feel Leia’s pulse in her temple, quickening slightly as Amilyn’s fingers caressed her.

Amilyn bent forward and pressed her lips to Leia’s temple, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath her mouth. “I love you,” she whispered with her lips still against skin.

Leia closed her eyes and reached out for Amilyn’s free hand, tracing circles on her palm. “You know I love you, too.”

The night felt different from the ones they’d spent together on Alderaan. Though the war was far from over, there was no urgency in the Rebellion just then. All they could do was hide and wait. There was no impending doom, no immediate threat. It was almost peaceful. They talked over everything that had happened during their days apart. Leia told Amilyn about Han and Luke and the wookie, and about the terror of the Empire’s interrogation. Amilyn told her – painfully – of the final days on Alderaan, and of her father’s final act to save her.

“Did he know?” Amilyn mused, as Leia wiped tears from her eyes.

“Know what?” Leia asked, her voice slightly hoarse.

“About us.”

“I suppose he might have figured it out,” Leia said with a sad, reminiscent smile. “He knew you meant a lot to me; more than I told him.”

Later, Leia led Amilyn to her room, and Amilyn was surprised to see her uniforms and Alliance-issued bag of toiletries and other personal items that she had acquired on Rekata Prime. “I had your things brought here. Threepio has been a real help, despite the fact he’s incredibly irritating. He found your bag in the squadron’s quarters and brought it here so you could stay here with me. I told him you’re my greatest friend.”

Amilyn giggled, surprised at Leia’s forwardness. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Your Highness.” She said with a fake curtsy.

Leia laughed. “Well, I need _someone_ here to help me with my hair.” She tossed a hairbrush in Amilyn’s direction. Amilyn grinned and set to work unraveling Leia’s many-layered braid. Leia sat on the floor and Amilyn lay across the bed. Amilyn told Leia about her newest astrological predictions, and Leia told Amilyn that the very idea that Han’s astrological chart might line up with her own was ludicrous. Amilyn sighed and wished she could stop believing in astrology, too, because honestly Han didn’t seem like a good match, but if it was written in the stars, she couldn’t do anything about it.

“You know, I’ll always be here, Leia,” Amilyn said, seriously. “Even if you have to marry Han, even if you _want_ to marry Han. You can always have me, too. I don’t mind.”

“Who said I want to marry Han?” Leia asked. “You’re way more my type.”

“True, but the stars don’t lie…I’m just saying…I’ll be here through all of it.”

Leia rolled her eyes, and Amilyn smiled at her. She untwisted the last part of Leia’s braid and began brushing her incredibly long hair. When she was done, Leia joined Amilyn on the bed.

“I wish it was always this peaceful,” Leia sighed, laying her head on Amilyn’s shoulder. “No Death Star, just outsmarting the Empire – hiding instead of fighting. I feel like a coward to think like that, but I can’t help it. I want to stop the Empire, but sometimes it’s just so hard. And if the fighting stopped, if we won the war, maybe we’d get to see each other more often, maybe we’ll…”

“Maybe we’ll get to see each other all the time?” Amilyn murmured.

Leia raised her head. Her dark eyes moved slowly, finally fixing on Amilyn’s blue ones. “Yes. Of course.” She whispered. Leia’s eyes were so dark, so beautiful. Her gaze dropped to Amilyn’s mouth and flicked back up to her eyes. Amilyn felt Leia’s breath on her lips for a moment, and then Leia was kissing her, as she never had before. Amilyn leaned into the kiss, her fingers running through Leia’s hair. It was all-consuming, her body coming alive in a way it never had with anyone else…  

 

************************************************** 

 

Vice Admiral Holdo woke suddenly, and for a second, she thought she was back on Hoth and when she opened her eyes, she would see Leia asleep, exhausted after a night spent exploring new sensations. _That was our first time_ , Amilyn thought, with a hint of nostalgia stirring in her chest as her eyes opened. She could see nothing at all for a moment. Then her eyes began to adjust and she could see the lights blinking all around her. The details of what had happened began to trickle back into Amilyn’s memory: the breach of the bridge, the moment of grief when she took command and saw her own name in Leia’s writing next to the words ESCAPE POD CODE in the General’s top secret command journal, the joy at Leia’s survival, the plan she formed, the attempted mutiny, Leia’s recovery at just the right moment, Leia’s voice saying “I’ve said it enough,” Leia’s eyes full of sadness as she sped into the dark. And then the silent cruiser, her new plan, the copper wire, the pod, a lot of blue light, and then nothing at all except darkness and memories.

Fully awake now, Amilyn began to wonder about her surroundings. Was the pod headed toward Crait, the strongest gravitational force when she had hit eject? Out of the windows in front of her, she saw unfamiliar stars but no planet blooming out of the darkness. If she were heading towards Crait, the planet would be visible to her. Shaking the last remnant of the charred copper wire from her wrist, Amilyn pressed the navigational button next to the escape pod’s monitor. A keypad appeared on the screen. Without thinking, she keyed in her own name again. The computer hummed for a moment and then gave her a retro-looking map of its closest estimate of where she was. None of the planets or stars within a few parsecs looked familiar. She tried to broaden the map’s scope, ask for coordinates, but several buttons were broken and an ERROR window kept appearing on the screen. _Where’s a good droid when you need one?_ Amilyn sighed and turned it off.

Floating through empty space Amilyn felt cold, though the pod itself had climate control to last 10 days at least, along with supplies. It was cramped but it would do. She thought back to her walk through the cruiser after everyone had left, leaving her as a decoy, as a martyr, as a body. That had been worse. Even empty space was better than inevitable death by the hand of the First Order. Which, she observed to herself, was pretty ironic when you stopped to think about it.

Amilyn pulled open the supply drawer. Leia must have stocked the drawers at some point, because here were all of her lover’s favorite things, piled on top of the usual cram-like biscuits and water cans. There were New Republic knock-offs of Alderaan candies and snacks, a few small bottles of wine, and, shoved into the back of the top drawer, a tiny, round box. Amilyn opened it curiously and a horribly familiar smell met her nose, making her gag and then laugh. It was – without a doubt – a little bit of that disgusting alcoholic sludge from Hoth. Leia must have kept some all these years in memory of what they had drunk that night. It had become a kind of inside joke between the two of them. Amilyn was sure it was rancid by now, even worse than it had been thirty years ago, but she decided to keep it, all the same. She screwed the lid back on and put it back in the drawer. Amilyn sat back in the cramped seat (really, these pods were _hell_ for tall people), and opened one of the cans of water. Wherever she was headed, Amilyn thought to herself, she knew what she had to do. She had to find a ship, and once she found a ship, she had to find Leia.

 

 ***

 

_Interlude: “Natural Woman,” by Aretha Franklin_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqrk3DXV9go> _


	3. Leia's New Sun

_Wine Pairing: Yellowtail Merlot – Australia_

 

***

 

Leia didn’t really have a plan, but Chewbacca didn’t seem to mind. Ever since Han died, he had been more subdued. And speaking of Han, Leia wasn’t sure how Chewy would react when she told him they were on a quest to find her lover who was _not_ Han. She supposed she should tell him sooner rather than later, and she just hoped he could keep his cool enough to not rip her arms out their sockets. Over the years, Leia had grown to understand Chewy, not semantically exactly, but enough to get the gist of what he wanted to say. As they pulled away from the new Resistance base, Chewy said something that seemed to be along the lines of “Where the hell are we going?”

Leia had no idea. She needed to find Amilyn, but there was no way to know where to start. She turned her mind to her other ambition: learning the ways of the Force. “Ahch-To,” said Leia, “Set a course for Ahch-To. Even though Luke is gone…I’ve got to see the place.”

Chewy made a noise of assent. The ship’s computer whirred as they prepared to leave the tiny moon, seemingly the last safe place in the galaxy. The buttons and levers around her glowed dimly, and Chewbacca’s presence was a comfort. Leia was glad she wasn’t undertaking this journey alone.

“You know, Chewy,” she said, as he prepared for the jump to hyperspace, “we might not see them again.”

He made a quiet, guttural howl that told her he understood.

“I’m too old to be fighting this war. All I can do now…” She paused. She had to tell him sometime, and now was as good a time as ever. She continued, “All I can do now is follow a new path, one that has always been before me. The Force is strong in my family, and it’s time I accepted the implications of that for myself. And maybe through doing so, I can find a new life. Ben is beyond my reach, Luke is gone, Han is dead, but…”

Chewy made a sad sound.

“Yes, Chewy, he’s gone,” she went on, a slight break in her voice, too. “Han is gone, but there’s someone else we have to find, the only person other than Han who I could ever make a life with.”

Chewy made a soft noise of understanding. Slowly, he moved his large hairy hand and lightly touched a purple button on the console. It was the exact color of Amilyn’s hair (well, her hair for the last decade or so). Leia smiled.

“Yes, Chewy. I’m sure she’s still alive and we’re going to find her.”

Chewy looked at her for a moment and then he turned back to the console and the rumbling of the ship. He made a noise that she understood to mean, “well, we better get started then,” as he pulled the lever to make the jump to hyperspace.

“Thank you, Chewy,” said Leia, as the hyperdrive roared and blue light surrounded them. She got up and moved away from him towards the back of the ship. “I’m going to rest now,” she called over her shoulder. “It will take a few hours at least to reach Ahch-To, and I’ll need strength when we arrive. Rey said it was quite a climb.” Chewy made a sound of agreement and Leia saw him swing his legs up onto her vacated seat at the console.

When she reached the closet that would serve as her quarters on the tiny ship, she sat down on the side of the bed. There was one mystery that was starting to bother her, poking its way towards the front of her mind. _How could Amilyn survive? By what means had she escaped the ship and still carried out the plan?_ She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. She cast her mind back to the _Raddus_ , exploring every nook and cranny, trying to see every inch of it clearly, trying to see Amilyn’s way out. She knew the beloved ship so well. It had been a home to her, and perhaps her love of the ship (and the cause it represented) was what had facilitated her connection to the Force, and in turn allowed for her survival after the bridge exploded. But it was gone now, she knew that. Amilyn had survived somehow, but the ship had not. It was a true martyr, just like the Admiral for whom it was named. Leia’s mind moved through the empty cruiser as though she was actually there, charting the path Amilyn would have taken from the dock to the secondary bridge, where she must have communicated with the Resistance transports and repositioned the ship, and then…where? It had to be close to the bridge. The medical bay was nearby, but there was no way out of there. The escape pods of that wing had all been reprogrammed to fit the transports leaving for Crait. There were a few closets. And there were Leia’s own quarters.

Leia’s eyes opened. Her own pod had not been moved to one of the transports. It couldn’t have been activated or removed by anyone except the General of the Resistance or the Admiral of the ship. _And Amilyn_ _had been General of the Resistance_ when Leia was incapacitated. The first thing Amilyn must have done when she took command was memorize the top-secret codes, and the one for Leia’s pod would’ve been easy for her to remember: HOLDO. Leia closed her eyes again and she could almost see Amilyn smiling as she keyed in the code. She must have done something to trigger the hyperdrive with the release of the pod, and – caught in the ship’s momentum – the pod must have been blasted away from the explosion, far away from Crait and from Leia. Satisfied with this explanation, Leia allowed her mind to wander a long way away from the _Raddus_ , away from the tiny ship she shared with Chewy now hurtling towards a new chapter. She let her mind wander back to Amilyn…    

   

 *****************************************

 

The Rebel Alliance spent almost three years on Hoth, and for the first two, Amilyn’s squadron remained there. The first night together after they met in the canteen had been passionate, clumsy, full of the relief of finding each other alive beyond all hope. As days and weeks passed, Amilyn’s presence in Leia’s life became blissfully routine. They would eat together in the canteen, often joined by Luke and Han. While Amilyn assisted with drills, general maintenance, and scouting missions around Echo Base, Leia spent hours in strategic debates with Mon Mothma and other leaders. Various missions sent Luke and other pilots far away from Hoth, and several times, Leia left the base to join Luke and Han on a so-called “adventure.” A few months after her reunion with Amilyn, Leia and Han took the Millenium Falcon to rescue Luke from the Hutt, Grakkus. The mission was a close shave at best and farcical at worst. Nothing had gone the way they expected, and on the whole, it was unglamorous, as Han delightfully reminded her (as if she cared).

When she returned from the mission, Luke safely in tow, Leia didn’t see Amilyn in the hangar. There were a few members of Verne’s team hurrying to and fro, but Amilyn – who, after all, was easy to pick out of a crowd due to her recently-dyed bright blue hair – was nowhere to be seen. Feeling a bit let down, Leia left the hangar for her quarters, almost tripping over R2-D2, who beeped indignantly. She would see Amilyn later; there was probably some minor crisis with the climate regulator that the indispensable-as-ever Captain Holdo had taken upon herself to fix.

As she walked down the icy corridor to her quarters, she was surprised to see a dim light filtering through the rimy window. “Threepio?” She called quietly, pushing the door open. It would be just like the droid to have prepared her quarters already, but there was no answer. There was a dim lantern sitting on one of the chairs in the main room, and shadows moved on the walls as she shut the door behind her. Her rooms seemed quiet, yet a feeling began to grow as she walked a few paces into the room. She felt like she was missing something, like she should have expected this for some reason.

“Welcome back, Your Highness,” said a voice. In the doorway to her bedroom stood Amilyn. After days on a ship with The Flyboys, the contrast was startling, like a thunderstorm in the desert, or a warm day on the icy tundra of Hoth. Amilyn’s bright blue hair – exactly the same color as her eyes – shown in the dim light. She was wearing her orange squadron uniform, and the juxtaposition of color was almost blinding. Her willowy frame leaned against the doorway, one hand on her hip. There was a hint of mischief in the way she was looking at Leia, which only deepened Leia’s sense that she was missing something. Now, however, was not the moment for such details.

Amilyn’s eccentric beauty seemed to brighten everything in the room, from the hard chairs to the lantern, which seemed to glow brighter. Leia had always admired Amilyn’s joyful spirit, her passion for the most incredible things, but she had never felt that infectious joy turned toward her in such an explicit way. The light and love emanating from Amilyn stopped Leia in her tracks. Leia could feel herself grinning in a silly, uncontrollable way. Amilyn was smiling, too, and then she was suddenly right in front of Leia, her arms stretched out. It was hard to look at her; it was like looking into a sun.

“Flung out of space,” Leia whispered as she fell into her, whispering the words into the blue curls that framed Amilyn’s face.

“I didn’t catch that,” said Amilyn, pressing her lips onto Leia’s temple.

“You,” Leia replied, a bit louder, “You’re like a star…flung out of space. No wonder you like astrology.”

Amilyn made a soft noise of amusement in her throat as she ran her hands over Leia’s braided hair and then over her shoulders, massaging the tension out of muscles that had experienced far too many close calls in the last week. Leia moaned almost imperceptibly into Amilyn’s shoulder.

“I’m glad you went to save Luke,” Amilyn said. “You know he’s the reason I dyed my hair this color? I thought it should match his lightsaber, for good luck you know, and maybe help ensure he’d come back to us.” Leia rolled her eyes, even though Amilyn couldn’t see her face. “Anyway,” Amilyn continued, “I’m glad you went to save him. It was the right thing to do, but I hated having you gone, and I’m thrilled you’re back in one piece.”

Leia tightened her hold on Amilyn. “I’m glad to be back,” she said. “You make this icy hell-scape into a kind of home. After Alderaan I never…” Leia faltered. It was still too painful to talk about. “Well,” she continued after a pause, “I never thought anywhere would feel like home again. But now _you_ feel like home, Amilyn.” She pulled away from Amilyn just enough to look into her eyes. The blue eyes met hers, and for a moment they just stood there. Leia could still see a hint of playfulness and mischief in Amilyn’s face, but before she could ask what that was about, Amilyn bent and kissed her. Everything around Leia was warm and sweet: the feel of her skin, the taste of her mouth, her scent which reminded Leia of something long ago that she couldn’t quite remember. Her thoughts fluttered away; her mind filled instead with Amilyn’s presence.

After what felt like seconds or forever, Leia pulled away slightly. She thought if she didn’t she might actually fall over as her legs turned to jelly and blood coursed to her fingertips and pooled deep in her core. She leaned back in Amilyn’s arms, and Amilyn bent her head and kissed the side of her neck sending another wave of hot electricity through Leia’s body.

“What are you thinking?” Amilyn asked quietly against the pulse point in Leia’s neck. Her breath was warm and left a hint of moisture on Leia’s skin.

“I’m thinking that _you_ think you know something I don’t.” Her tone was matter-of-fact, though slightly breathless.  

“Oh that,” Amilyn whispered before catching Leia’s mouth again. They moved towards the bed, pausing every step to steal a kiss, stroke skin. Leia pressed her hips into Amilyn’s thigh and Amilyn’s hand drifted further down her back, pulling her closer, yearning for more contact. Leia brain was torn between wanting to know what Amilyn was thinking and wanting…well, Amilyn.  

Leia’s hand lingered on Amilyn’s hip. “So, what’s going on?” she asked, pulling away for a moment.  

“It’s my birthday,” Amilyn said frankly.

Leia giggled in confusion. “Um…where?”

“Back home,” Amilyn said. “Gatalenta.”

“Lunar? Solar?” Leia humored her.

“Astrological, of course,” Amilyn said, looking up with surprise from undoing Leia’s buttons. “Should I…?”

 “Keep going,” Leia murmured before Amilyn could finish her sentence. Leia moved her hand to the zipper of Amilyn’s uniform. One of Amilyn’s hands joined hers, tugging the zipper downwards until the one-piece uniform hung around Amilyn’s hips. Moving away for a second, Amilyn stepped out of the polyfill trousers and sat down on the side of the bed. She pulled Leia towards her.

Leia became aware that she had removed her shoes, because she could feel the rough rug between her toes, adding to the sensations that were almost overwhelming. Amilyn – now wearing only the thermal underclothes issued to everyone on Echo Base – was the most beautiful person Leia had ever seen. To see her sitting before her, with so much love in her eyes, was enough to make Leia melt. The moment became deeper and time seemed to slow. There was tenderness in Amilyn’s eyes and in the movement of her hands as she tugged gently at the hem of Leia’s jacket. Leia raised her arms above her head as Amilyn lifted the heavy coat off her. It fell to the ground with Amilyn’s uniform. Without breaking eye contact with Amilyn, Leia removed her trousers and stepped out of them.

At other times they had laughed with frustration at the number of layers into which the cold climate of Hoth forced them, making undressing a complicated procedure. Today though, the layers provided an excuse to slow down, to extend this moment together. Dim light from a few lanterns around Leia’s room washed over them sending sparkling points of golden light through Amilyn’s blue curls. Her eyes were like oceans, less piercing than before, but more intense. The colors seemed to blur around her as Leia’s mouth found Amilyn’s skin. Only Amilyn remained steady in the whirlwind. _It’s never been quite like this_ , Leia thought. _We’re starting to understand each other’s bodies, to trust._ Leia could hear her own name on Amilyn’s tongue, barely audible.

“Happy Birthday, my love,” Leia whispered. Amilyn made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a moan.   

“No one ever cares about birthdays when you’re flitting from one planet to the next,” Amilyn mumbled several minutes later, her fingers entwined in Leia’s.

“Maybe,” said Leia, “but all of time is a bit strange when you’re seeing a new sun every day. When’s mine?”

“You’re birthday? For what planet? Coruscant? Alderaan?”

Despite the warmth of Amilyn’s body next to her, Leia shivered at the mention of her home planet and felt a distinct need to steer the conversation away from any further mention of it. “Well, my solar birthday for Coruscant is used on all those records that require ‘age’ to be listed, and you’ve already told me that my Alderaan chart shows me marrying Han…Gatalenta, then. What’s my astrological birthday on Gatalenta?”

Amilyn swung a leg over Leia’s hips and pulled herself on top of her. “I’ll have to think about it,” Amilyn said, “I’ll draw up some charts.” Her fingers moved lightly over Leia’s bare skin as if she was seeing the stars in front of her, tracing fateful connections between them.

Amilyn slow movements morphed into something more rhythmic and purposeful and Leia lost track of her hands. Amilyn was so delicate and precise that the sensations hit her in pure waves, not emanating from anywhere in particular, just feelings that came and went in a pattern that correlated with the rhythm of Amilyn’s movements. Leia heard Amilyn’s name on her own lips, and Amilyn led her through as though it were a dance. The waves of feeling crashed over her, but it wasn’t clear if they were her own emotions or Amilyn’s, or whether for that time they were really one entity. Gentleness, and reverence, and passion seemed to ebb and flow around her as heat grew and time slowed down. Leia’s world crystallized into a moment that seemed to extend tangibly into space. And then Amilyn’s fingers were tracing her star charts again, bringing Leia slowly back to the ground…

 

**************************************

 

Leia awakened out of a deep sleep to Chewy shaking her gently. The small navigational computer across the corridor from where she lay reported that they would reach Ahch-To in less than twenty minutes. She closed her eyes again for a moment, memories of Amilyn from so long ago still vivid and real behind her eyelids, so clear she could almost feel the warmth of Amilyn’s body lying next to her in the tiny bed. She wanted to ask her about that star chart. Had she ever completed it? What had Amilyn seen in her stars? That mischievous grin Amilyn had worn seemed to reach out to her across the years. For so long she had closed herself off to those memories. At first, they had been painful. Verne’s entire battalion, along with Commander Holdo, had gone missing, presumed dead in the Outer Rim or the Unknown Regions. Leia had moved on (eventually), with Han. After Ben was born and Amilyn Holdo had wandered back into the known reaches of the galaxy and back into her life, she had tried to forget all of it, too afraid of the love she still felt for Amilyn, the woman flung out of space and into Leia’s path time and time again. Amilyn became her greatest friend, but their love was platonic, at least for a while.

Once Ben had fallen to Snoke’s temptations, Luke had disappeared, and Han had set off on his unpredictable journeys that only occasionally brought him home, Leia had established the Resistance and reestablished…something with Amilyn Holdo. This time, intense strategic debates and near-death experiences in battle after battle with the growing First Order kept Leia physically distant from Amilyn.  For the most part, the only acknowledgment of anything beyond friendship arose in eye contact held a second too long during briefings, in a fleeting touch as they passed in a corridor, and in frustrated tears Leia shed by herself behind closed doors. Even when a romantic relationship began again with Amilyn, and Leia confessed everything to Han, she insisted they should always look forward at the future, never behind at the past.

It wasn’t until after Han had died that Leia had allowed herself to look at those old memories again. She was surprised they had survived for so many years, locked away in the back of her mind, like Luke’s lightsaber in a dusty box in Maz Kanata’s castle. Now, on this ship that would bring her back – she hoped – to Amilyn, Leia’s memories came freely for the first time in decades. She had forgotten so much about the peaceful time they’d spent on Hoth, and now tiny details came back to her, trickling through time like grains of sand through a sieve, coming to rest in piles around her. Crystalline moments like the day she had returned from rescuing Luke when Amilyn had welcomed her home. Time had stopped that day and the gravity of Leia’s world had begun to pull towards a new sun, one with piercing eyes and bright blue hair and a mischievous grin.

Leia sighed and got to her feet as Chewy decelerated out of hyperspace. She made her way to the console and took her spot at Chewy’s side. He had always been an exceptional pilot, but she wasn’t actually too bad either. At any rate, she was much better than anyone seemed to think. The ship slowed as they passed through Ahch-To’s atmosphere, through clouds, patches of rain and sunlight, and finally out over the open ocean. Leia could see islands, stretching away in an enormous archipelago. Late afternoon light from Ahch-To’s two suns gilded the tops of craggy mountains, and patches of green grass flashed like emerald jewels over the water. She knew which island it was before Chewy pointed to it; some instinct drew her eye to it as soon as it emerged over the horizon. Luke’s island was small, yet it loomed high above the water. A single cloud of mist draped itself around the highest peak. It was a beautiful place.

The ocean and the green grass reminded Leia of the coastal regions of Alderaan. She could see why Luke had stayed here after finding the Jedi temple. It was as different as one could get from the deserts of Tatooine, and Luke – when he came here – had been trying to escape from his own life, his own failures, and his own destiny. Chewy pulled the ship onto the flattest part of the rocky shelf that surrounded the edge of the island. The waves – stirred up by the ship’s low flight over the water – lapped at the shore, splashing the tiny bird-like creatures that had gathered as the ship landed. As she disembarked, Leia became aware that there were other persons watching her from a short way up the first hill. Based on Rey’s descriptions, these must be the Lanai – the caretakers of the Jedi village. Once Chewbacca had reached the ground, Leia made her way towards them.

The Lanai seemed to recognize her, as though her familial connection to Luke were a visible thread. With their fish-like faces sparkling in the sunlight, the Lanai led Leia up the island. The climb was every bit as difficult as Rey had said, and the suns were setting by the time they reached Luke’s outcrop.

She turned to look at the Lanai, realizing she hadn’t said a word to any of them since arriving. More of them had gathered as she climbed the slopes to this spot. Their speech, though unintelligible to Leia, seemed subdued and sad. Luke had lived here for a long time, and he had trusted and respected them. Indeed, he owed them so much. They had kept the temple in order, kept the Jedi texts safe, and maintained the buildings for generations without any promise of returning Jedi. Leia looked into their faces as the suns set over the water, sending rays of red and orange across the rocks and the grass. One of the very small Lanai – a child, Leia thought – stepped forward and handed her a bundle of cloth. Leia shook it open, and as she did so she recognized Luke’s Jedi robes. The Lanai – it seemed – had kept them out of respect. She clutched the rough, worn fabric so tightly that her knuckles went white.      

“Thank you,” she said finally, “for looking after him.” The Lanai chattered quietly back to her. The nearest one, who seemed to be one of the leaders, put a gray-blue hand on Leia’s arm. There was reassurance in the touch. It was not only a silent affirmation of her purpose; it was also a promise. The Lanai would care for her as they had cared for Luke. They would be her friends.

Leia turned back to Luke’s rock. She felt a soft nudge in the middle of her back. Looking around, she saw Chewy and one of the Lanai urging her gently forward. They walked with her to the rock. The boulder was tall, but several smaller rocks had been arranged around it by Luke, the Lanai, or by nature itself – she didn’t know which. Grasping Chewy’s huge furry hand, for she _would_ not do this alone, Leia leaned her head against the boulder for a moment. Then, slowly, she climbed up. The smaller rocks made surprisingly comfortable steps. As Leia reached the top, she let go of Chewy’s hand and clutched Luke’s robes to her chest. The suns were almost gone now; only a red gleam far away shone out over the water. The briny air was cold on her skin as the breeze rushed in from the sea. Without really thinking about it, she swung Luke’s cloak around her own shoulders. The Lanai fell completely silent behind her, as if they, too, could feel the power of this moment. The wind was changing. The Force had awakened once more.

 

***

 

_Interlude: “Vibration,” by The Limns_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5rOwVFlpGk> _


	4. Irysi

_Wine Pairing: Joáo Portugal Ramos Vinho Verde Loureiro – Portugal_

Distant stars shone through the tiny window of the escape pod. Amilyn was bored. According to the clock near the escape pod’s monitor – which reflected the date and time on Coruscant, the old center of the Republic – Amilyn had been in the pod for nearly four days. During that time, she had repaired the computer as best she could. Though it wouldn’t project coordinates, the monitor at least allowed her to zoom out a bit so she could see a parsec in any direction, giving some sense of where she might be headed. Two days before, she had awoken to see some sort of larger mass come into view at the edge of the screen. Since then, the pod had continued drifting toward the new source of gravity. She hoped it was a planet, though nothing in the pod’s computer seemed to recognize it as such. However, it wouldn’t be long and she would know for sure what it was. At her current rate, she would reach it sometime in the next twelve hours.

The first day in the pod had been all right. It had taken a long time for her adrenaline to subside and for her to truly believe that she was alive, that she hadn’t perished with the _Raddus_. Once she was calm, she drank some of the wine and passed many nostalgic hours remembering the happy days with Leia on Alderaan and then on Hoth, the flirtatious moments they had shared in later years, and finally their most recent memories together from the past few weeks. There was so much history between them, so many complications that had kept them apart. Now it was simpler, and yet the whole galaxy lay between them. Amilyn wondered if Leia suspected she was alive. What had happened on Crait? Was there any Resistance left? If there was, had Leia remained with them, or had she moved on? Somehow Amilyn knew Leia was alive. She’d never felt as though she were Force sensitive – not to the extent Leia was, anyway. But somehow Leia’s strength with the Force seemed to touch her, too, making Amilyn certain of her survival. Apart from that intuition, the stars hadn’t let her down yet, and nothing about the charts she knew indicated Leia’s death far away from Amilyn. Through everything, their fates converged. Amilyn had the stars; Leia had the Force. Somehow, they would meet in the middle.  

The large mass of _something_ on the monitor was only a few hours away. Out of the window, a turquoise dot could now be seen as the pod flew on, still propelled by the momentum of the dying _Raddus_ so many days ago and so far away. Amilyn inventoried the contents of the pod as the planet – for it was indeed a planet – became clearer through the window. There seemed to be two continents. The terrain was still blurry, but it was mostly white and gray with the occasional brown patch. Between the landmasses shone bright blue oceans across which swirling clouds rolled like tiny galaxies. Inside the pod, the provisions laid aside by Leia – Alderaan-esque sweets, wine, and that horrible alcohol from Hoth – were mostly untouched (apart from the wine, which was almost gone). Amilyn had opted for mostly cram and water over the past few days, and there was still enough for about a week. It would come in handy if she landed on a sparsely populated planet. Leia’s favorite items – tucked away in the drawers _just in case_ – felt like a small piece of the woman herself, and Amilyn hadn’t been able to bring herself to eat them. _They’re not really mine_ , she thought, _and maybe I can surprise her with them when I see her again._

The computer beeped loudly and a message flashed across the monitor: PREPARE FOR IMPACT IN 30 MINUTES. The small landing engine in the pod roared to life, almost deafening Amilyn after days of near-silence. _At least it still responds to gravity_ , Amilyn thought. There was nothing left to do but wait. She strapped herself in. The impact would almost certainly knock her out for a while, but the straps would prevent certain death. _What a way to die_ , thought Amilyn, _death by escape pod._ The minutes passed slowly as the pod began to orbit the planet at a dizzying speed. She was nervous, not about the impact, but about the next leg of the journey. How difficult would it be to find a ship? Could she make it to the nearest village or town with the supplies from the pod? Perhaps the stars had been wrong all along, and she would die of exposure long before she reached Leia, long before she reached anyone else.

The pod entered its final orbit, decelerating as the atmosphere closed in. Amilyn saw the view outside shift from inky black to bright sunlight. Blinking in the brightness, she tried to get her bearings. The ground below seemed to grow larger as she sped toward it, pulled onwards by the gravity of this new world. The planet filled all of her vision now, and she could see mountains, snow-white plains (hopefully not _actual_ snow), and patches of brown desert. There was no sign of sentient life, no infrastructure that she could see from here. Passing through the world’s atmosphere, Amilyn saw a river below her, icy turquoise like the ocean into which it emptied. The river ran from a mountain range far inland and weaved between grayish hills towards the sea. The delta was wide, and she could see a line of dark clouds moving in towards the land. A storm was approaching.

Straining her eyes towards the coastline, Amilyn looked for signs of movement, and at last, as the delta became clearer, she saw the unmistakable outline of a boat. Her heart leapt. There _were_ people here! She had a chance. She didn’t see any spacecraft entering or leaving the town that was growing clearer on the lower bank of the river, but that wasn’t the worst thing. There was bound to be an interplanetary transportation dock somewhere on this planet, and hopefully, the people in the town could help her find it. The computer in the pod beeped again and a new message appeared on the screen: PREPARE FOR IMPACT IN 30 SECONDS. The message didn’t vanish this time; it stayed on the screen calmly counting down the seconds. Amilyn leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. An image of Leia appeared in her mind. There was a knowing twinkle in her eyes and a calm smile on her lips. By the time the pod landed with a crash in the planet’s soft ground, Amilyn had been swept away in a dream…

 

 *** 

 

Amilyn was restoring an old x-wing in a small New Republic base on Chandrila when the summons came. Lieutenant Connix came running towards her across the hangar. She was a bit out of breath when she reached her and needed a moment to recover before saluting. Amilyn rolled her eyes. “Calm down, Lieutenant,” she told her. “I might deserve that formality, but I certainly don’t want it shoved down my throat every time someone needs to ask a simple question. What do you need?”

“Ma’am,” the young woman said, still a little out of breath, “Senator Organa would like to see you. She’s waiting in Strategy Room 5.” Amilyn looked up from the power coupling. She stared at Connix. There were so many questions in her mind that she couldn’t possibly begin to examine any of them, so Amilyn just kept looking at her. The lieutenant fidgeted under her blank gaze.

“It seemed urgent,” Connix continued, clearly concerned by Amilyn’s silence. “I can bring you to the Senator immediately if…”

“No,” Amilyn said abruptly, speaking at last. “No, I’ll go to her myself.” She tossed the wrench at the lieutenant and took off her gloves. She left Connix standing there beside the old x-wing holding the wrench and looking confused.

The wood and stone buildings of the base had once held hundreds of people, but years of battles had taken their toll on the population. Outside, grassy plains stretched for miles. The grass was taller than Amilyn in most places. Huge wildflowers dotted the landscape; they were large enough to provide shade for small animals. Normally, Amilyn found herself distracted by the bizarre beauty outside every window, but today she walked past the windows as if they were filled with fog. The strategy rooms weren’t far from the hangar, but Amilyn took a circuitous route in order to steel her nerves. After circling the same corridor for a third time however, Amilyn decided that there was no amount of pacing and dawdling that would balance her anxiety. Trying to breathe normally, she walked quickly to the strategy rooms without taking any additional detours.

Amilyn’s hand shook a little as she raised it to knock on the door of the room. What was this about? She hadn’t had a personal conversation with Leia in years. They were casual friends, but their history had always gotten in the way of anything deeper. Their professional teamwork had led the Republic Military to victory on many occasions, but their personal connection had dwindled to memory and the occasional awkward exchange of glances. Amilyn lowered her hand, shook herself mentally, and then raised her fist again. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” said Leia’s soft voice. Amilyn entered the room. It was one of the smaller conference rooms. Wood paneling lined the walls and three mullioned windows were set into the wall across from the door. The other walls were covered in shelves, some containing books, others scattered with strange gadgets and monitors. Charts and computers lay across the large wooden table, and a hologram communicator stood in one corner, whirring quietly. Leia was standing at the far end of the table, facing the windows. Amilyn could see her profile, back-lit against the light filtering into the room.

“Senator Organa,” Amilyn said, announcing her presence. She didn’t know what else to say.

“Amilyn,” said Leia, turning towards her, “thank you for coming to see me. In light of recent events, I think you’re the only one who can advise me. Come sit down.” Leia indicated the table. The formality of her words felt forced, but this was nothing new. When Amilyn had returned (from the dead, seemingly) for a second time, there had been an unspoken agreement between them to maintain some distance. It wasn't easy for either of them, Amilyn knew, but rumors were like poison, and the priority was always the cause: first the Rebellion, now the Republic.

Amilyn sat down facing Leia across the table and waited for Leia to speak. Leia traced one finger slowly around a knot in the dark wood before continuing. “As you know,” she said at last, “my son has fallen to the dark side. Luke left last night after bringing the news to me. He feels he has failed as a Jedi, failed as Obi-Wan once failed.”

Amilyn had no idea where this was headed, but she felt a wave of sympathy for the woman sitting before her. Amilyn laid her hand on the table, hoping Leia would take the gesture as one of solidarity and empathy. It was silent in the room for a moment, except for the low murmuring of the machines.

“This morning,” Leia went on, a catch in her voice, “Han left, too.” Her voice steadied, though Amilyn sensed an enormous amount of effort behind every syllable. “He feels responsible, I think, for our son’s descent to the dark side. Whatever happens now, it will never be the same between him and me. We see too much of Ben in one another. I’m sure he’ll be back eventually, but we’ve made a decision to separate for the time being.” Amilyn couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. Leia was separating from Han, the great love of her life? The pain must be worse than Amilyn suspected, much worse. _She’s lost everyone_ , Amilyn thought sadly.

“Leia…” Amilyn began, but Leia held up a hand, gently silencing her.

“Amilyn, I owe you an apology. All these years I’ve pushed you away, confident that I had everything I needed. But I needed you all along. Not just here at the end, but through all of it. I never allowed myself to have a friend, and I’m sorry. You deserved better from me. After all we shared together…” Leia broke off and Amilyn looked at her. She could see a single tear on Leia’s cheek, glistening in the light from the high windows. Without really thinking about it, Amilyn reached out and wiped it away. Leia’s hand closed over her own. Amilyn could feel the warmth of Leia’s cheek under her palm. Her heart beat faster, and she knew Leia could feel it in the pulse point of her wrist. They sat like that for a long moment, frozen in time.

At last, Leia sighed and stood up. She didn’t let go of Amilyn’s hand, but walked to Amilyn’s side of the table. Amilyn looked up at her. Leia reached down and pushed a bright green curl off of Amilyn’s forehead, tucking it delicately behind her ear. Amilyn felt a little dizzy at her touch, trying to remember the last time Leia had touched her at all, and now here they were. Leia knelt in front of her. Her eyes were still full of tears. She opened her mouth again, and Amilyn knew she was going to ask her forgiveness, for pardon. There had been times over the years when Amilyn had longed for a moment like this. She’d forgiven her long ago, of course, for marrying Han. Really, there had been nothing to forgive. But the years of distance and formality had taken their toll, and Amilyn couldn’t deny the bitterness that had crept between them. Yet now, with Leia’s grief so raw and her regret so obvious, Amilyn found she didn’t need an apology at all, not today anyway.  

“Everything is forgiven, my dear friend,” Amilyn said before Leia could utter a word. “Whatever you need…well, you just have to ask.” Leia laid her head in Amilyn’s lap. Amilyn stroked her hair.

At last, Leia spoke, whispering so Amilyn could barely hear her. “Do I stay here? Do I keep up this fight?”

“Yes, Leia,” Amilyn said after a moment. She didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to make Leia’s life harder. But she had to speak the truth, and the fact was that no one else could lead them right now. “I think you have to stay. You have a chance at convincing the Senate to confront the First Order. You may no longer be a Princess, but leadership has been thrust upon you nonetheless, by your will or not. But it doesn’t mean you can’t feel pain; you don’t have to be invincible.”

“You’re right,” Leia said, raising her head to look into Amilyn’s eyes again. “I’m not sure I _could_ leave even if I tried.”  

“After all you’ve been through, no one will expect you to carry on,” said Amilyn, “but if anyone can lead after what’s happened, it’s you. You’ll always be royalty to so many of us.”

They sat silently for a while. The sun began to go down outside the windows, throwing sparkling gold around the room. Amilyn continued to stroke Leia’s hair, noticing the streaks of gray that hadn’t been there the last time she’d touched her. At last Leia stood up and pulled Amilyn with her. They stood for a moment, holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes.

“After all this time,” said Leia, “I still love you, Amilyn.”

“I know,” said Amilyn quietly. “I love you, too…”

 

***

 

Amilyn awoke to a distinct feeling of claustrophobia. Remarkably the pod seemed entirely intact. The lights on the walls indicated that life support was still working, and a small gauge by the computer monitor showed her that the new planet’s oxygen levels were breathable and the gravity was just slightly below average. Beyond the window, Amilyn could see very little. Something white – like snow but _definitely not snow_ – was obscuring more than half of the window. In the few seconds that Amilyn watched she noticed something more alarming: the pod was – unmistakably – sinking.

There was no time to lose. Amilyn gathered all the provisions from the drawers, dug under the seat for the emergency medical kit and clothing, and put everything into one of the large sacks placed here for just such an occasion. It only took her about thirty seconds, but even in that short amount of time, the pod had slipped another inch into whatever it was that surrounded her. The main door of the pod wouldn’t open, but luckily the hatch above the seat seemed to be free. Amilyn pushed it open and climbed out onto the top of the pod, taking in the bizarre landscape. The ground (was it ground?) shone bright white in the sunlight. Whatever the material was, it was soft enough that the pod was gently sinking into it. She would have to move or she would sink, too. Ahead of her, the turquoise river glittered, flowing out of sight around a bend to her left. The white ground formed low hills all around her. In the distance to her right, tall mountains loomed. These were clearly rocky, solid peaks, but she knew she must go to the left to reach the town she’d seen from above. If she could make it to the river, perhaps it would be shallow, warm, and non-toxic enough to walk in. About forty yards lay between the sinking pod and the river. If she ran lightly enough, Amilyn thought she could make it.

She was about to step off the pod when a small animal appeared around one of the low hills on the opposite bank of the river. It had four legs, a furry body, and long ears that stuck up in the air like the sails of a ship. Its fur was bright blue with orange stripes, and it had a long tail ending in a sharp, boney talon. The animal paused for a second to look at Amilyn, tail flicking. Its bright green eyes blinked slowly at her. In the second it stood there, the animal’s feet sank slightly into the white ground, but as soon as it moved, the substance seemed to become solid, barely shifting at all as the tiny creature bounded away upstream.

Amilyn would have to try it, for the pod was sinking quickly. Only a small area, maybe a few feet square, remained visible. She reached out and prodded the white substance with the toe of her boot. It felt gooey, but as she poked at it, it seemed to solidify into a texture and consistency that reminded her of firm snow. Hoisting the bag of provisions and clothes over her shoulder, Amilyn set off towards the river. The faster she walked, the more solid the ground felt beneath her feet. When she reached the river, she found that the banks were made of stone. The white goop tapered into patches that collected in crevices of the purplish rocks.

She stopped on the bank of the river and opened her sack. Inside the medical kit, there was a small meter, built for checking pH level and for detecting poison and infections. She took it out of the case and placed the tip into the running liquid, careful not to splash herself in case it was corrosive. The reading showed her that the liquid was water and safe to consume. Crouching by the river, Amilyn filled several of the empty water cans and wine bottles she had brought from the pod. After so many years travelling to little-known planets, she knew better than to assume the water would be potable further downstream, and there was always a chance she would have to walk further away from the bank for one reason or another.

Amilyn was accustomed to traveling by herself, but over the next few days, she grew impatient. Her journeys in the past had always been in the context of reconnaissance or research, gathering information for the Alliance and then for the Resistance, seeking out allies and then moving on again. There was no ultimate, single goal in that work, and as a young leader and an introvert she had excelled at it, loving the mystery of each new leg of a journey. Now however, Leia was her sole purpose, and she didn’t much feel like enjoying the quest itself. This time the destination was more important.

Every night, dozing fitfully beside the running water, Amilyn dreamed of Leia. There wasn’t anything coherent about the dreams; they were just vignettes of their past, and maybe some of their future. Through it all, Leia’s eyes turned toward her, beckoning her onwards. She would awaken every morning to sunlight and to renewed motivation. She moved onward every day, a little desperately perhaps, but confident that each step brought her closer to the woman she loved.

Five days after climbing out of last tiny piece of the _Raddus_ , Amilyn reached the town she had seen as she flew in. Stone pillars stood up from the ground, raising the buildings high above the white land. Steps and ramps led up from the riverbank onto stone streets. Like the rock by the river, the stone buildings and walls had a purplish tinge. Two people were standing at the bottom of the nearest flight of steps. One of them was slightly shorter and stockier than the other. They seemed humanoid. Neither had any hair, horns, or other identifying shape to their skulls. The one on the left had bright blue skin; the one on the left had bright green. Years of travelling in the outer reaches of the galaxy had given Amilyn plenty of practice with learning languages, but she still felt nervous approaching the pair by the steps. What if they couldn’t find a way to understand one another?

As Amilyn approached, the two people strode forward towards her, stopping a few paces beyond the bottom of the steps. The blue person on the left placed one hand on their chest, gesturing to their companion with the other. The green person did the same. Amilyn didn’t have anyone to whom she could gesture, so she placed both hands briefly on her own chest. The two people nodded.

“My name is Amilyn Holdo,” she began in her own language, using the standard New Republic sign language as well. “I am former Vice Admiral of the Resistance. I need a ship and am willing to trade food and medical supplies, but I don’t have much.” She hoped they would understand at least some of it.

To Amilyn’s relief, the person on the right stepped forward and began to sign back. The dialect was new to her, but far from incomprehensible. “Welcome,” they said, “you have landed on the planet Irysi in the Caldamea system. We are the only humanoid people of Irysi, and we call ourselves the Irysians. My name is Yngo and this is my partner, Girynni.” They gestured to the blue person on the left.

“I’ve never heard of Irysi before,” Amilyn signed back. “Am I in the Outer Rim?”

“No, but our planet has been isolated for a long time” Amilyn noticed the omission of their actual location. Yngo continued, “We were part of the Old Republic and held minor power in the Senate. Our grandparents learned the languages of other peoples and planets, including Basic, but now only a few of us have the skills to communicate with outsiders, as you can see.”

“What happened?” Her eyes traveled over the old stones and the sea that twinkled between the pillars.

“Before the rise of Empire, we withdrew from the Senate and erased our existence with the help of an old friend among the Jedi. Our area of the galaxy is sparsely populated. No one ever came to look. We disabled our spacecraft and our interplanetary communication systems. Only in the last decade have we begun to reassert ourselves.”

Amilyn’s heart sank at the mention of disabled spacecraft. _But then_ , she thought, _at least there might be something to repair, anything…_ “What can you offer?” She said it more bluntly than she meant to, but Yngo seemed understanding.   

“We heard about the rise of the First Order and of the Resistance,” they signed. “We have no weapons and no military, but to show our support of the Resistance, we will welcome you as an honored guest and help you with what you need. Follow us.”

Yngo and Girynni turned and led Amilyn up the broad stone steps towards the town. It was mid-morning and the town was waking up. People meandered down the streets, laughing and talking to one another. The language was phonetically predictable, but the grammar wasn't clear. In years past Amilyn would’ve been able to pick up conversational skills just by listening to people in the street, but she was out of practice, and since Yngo could sign, she didn’t need to worry too much about it. The people in the streets had skin tones in varying shades of green and blue. They were dressed in bright colors, mostly yellow and red, which stood out in contrast to the purple stones, the white hills stretching out in the distance, and the turquoise ocean glimmering at the mouth of the river delta.

Amilyn noticed as they walked that no one seemed to be going about their business alone. Most people moved about the street in pairs, or in small groups. There were few children, but those she saw were also in groups. The weather was pleasant, not cold, but not too warm either. A breeze blew in from the sea and the sun warmed the stones under their feet. Some people stared at Amilyn, especially the children. Based on Yngo’s story, off-worlders were not a common sight here nowadays. Occasionally someone would come up and ask Yngo something and Yngo would give them her name and say a few brief words.

“They want to know why you’re alone,” Yngo signed to Amilyn. “As you have probably noticed, the people here rarely operate alone. Our way of greeting one another is built around our connection to another being.” Amilyn remembered the gesture they’d made when she arrived: one hand on the chest, one gesturing towards another. “These connections vary from pair to pair,” Yngo continued, “Some pairs are romantic; others are strong bonds of friendship; still others are familial bonds between siblings, or between a parent and a child. Seeing someone alone is rare, though any Irysian may choose to remain unbound, and some do. I can see, as can others here, that you carry a bond with you, though your partner isn’t here.”

“You’re right,” Amilyn signed to them. “My heart is a long way from here. That’s why I need a ship. I’m trying to get back to her.”

“In that case, your mission is deeply important to us,” Yngo signed. “What is her name?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve heard it before,” Amilyn signed with a small laugh. “Her name is Leia Organa, former Princess of Alderaan and General of the Army of the Resistance.”

Yngo smiled and repeated the information to Girynni in their own tongue. “Her deeds are legendary,” Yngo said to Amilyn, “and we will help you find her.” Amilyn believed them, and as hope stirred in her body, Amilyn felt lighter, and she continued down the purple cobblestone streets, following Girynni and Yngo.  

_Interlude: “Ordinary Day,” by Peter Mayer_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Bxb1bxXCE> _


	5. Stained Glass

_Wine Pairing: Trapiche Oak Cask Malbec – Argentina_

All night, Leia sat on the rock where Luke had died. Chewy sat with her, while the Lanai returned to the stone houses below. She could see lights in a few of the windows. A few hours later, one of them brought her a bowl of food. It didn’t taste like much, but it was hot and she was hungry. She ate quickly and then went back to thinking.

It had been years since she had time to think. She couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t had a schedule. Ever since she was sixteen, her life had been one “leadership opportunity” after another. At nineteen, adventures were no longer appealing to her, and yet she found herself at the center of what became the death knell of the Empire. When the Empire fell, her life didn’t slow down. There was so much to take in, and she had never been given the time to fully grasp that _Darth Vader was her father, too._ Somehow, Luke had found the strength in his heart to forgive Anakin Skywalker, but she never did. His trespasses against her had been far too personal and far too extreme for her to ever make peace with his memory. After Endor, she pushed all of that bitterness away; she moved on. There was the wedding, then her child: her tiny, beautiful child whose life changed forever at less than two when Luke saw he was uncommonly strong with the Force. And if there was a hint of bitterness when Ben went away to train with Luke, she pushed it down under the pride and wonder she found in her son’s face. _We should’ve known better_.

Then the First Order began to gain a foothold in the galaxy. Young people – corrupted by disillusion – joined Snoke’s ranks. Then her _own_ world began to crumble as first her son, then Luke, and finally Han left her forever. Leia formed the Resistance and became its General. The fighting began again ( _had it really stopped?)_. Even then, she had carried on. It had been easier this time with Amilyn by her side, but nothing could change the fact that her life was never really her own. Until now.

The sea crashed on the rocks below. A light breeze played with her hair, which was slowly unraveling out of the braids she’d woven several days before. The hairstyles had defined her image for as long as she could remember, but there was no longer any image to maintain. She was not a Princess, not a politician, not General Organa. Her life was no longer defined by duty. At last, she was only Leia. The strange stars overhead charted paths she’d never seen before. For a while she gazed out at the stars reflected in the cold dark ocean, drinking in Luke’s final vista. Then she closed her eyes.

She’d heard the teachings for years, from Luke and then from Ben. Luke had encouraged her to explore the Force; he knew she could feel it. She’d never felt like she had the time. Other things always got in the way. Not that it hadn’t come in useful (hadn’t she saved herself from certain death in empty space?), but it had always been in the background of her life, never at the forefront. Now however, it was a new era. She could feel something like a vibration, between herself and the rock, between the rock and the outcrop, between the outcrop and the grass, and on and on. She could feel where Chewy sat on the ground, she could feel the Lanai sleeping in the houses below, and she could feel the dark place beneath the island. She cast her mind further. She felt the whole planet tilting on its axis, spinning through space around strange suns.

Her mind carried her further away. She saw the Resistance, regrouping in hiding, yet beside them was another image of the Alliance on Hoth so many years ago. _They say history repeats itself_ , she thought as she turned away. She saw her son, alone. She knew she could contact him if she tried, but she didn’t want to try. There was far too much bitterness there. _History_ does _repeat itself_. She turned away from him, too. She couldn’t be sure if the visions were hers to control, or if they were appearing to her unbidden from the neurons of the Universe. Emotions rose and fell as images – past and present – flitted into her mind and then out again. She observed the emotions but she couldn’t feel them. They existed like stained glass windows over the dioramas of her life, of _life_ …

 

***

 

A new vision appeared in Leia’s mind. She saw a purple city made of stone against white hills and blue water. She saw people in bright colors, moving through the streets. She observed peace and tranquility and hope. She seemed to be walking through the streets herself, yet she couldn’t feel the stones; there was no physical sensation. Coming towards her were three people, and before she could see them clearly, she recognized Amilyn Holdo.

Her purple hair was fading, her clothes were a bit raggedy, but her eyes were as blue as ever. For a second, Amilyn looked straight at Leia, as though she were really there in front of her. She looked confused for a moment, but she seemed to pull herself together. She smiled at Leia. The smile shot through Leia like a laser, shattering the barrier between feeling and emotion. Her love for Amilyn Holdo would not be passively, calmly observed, not _now_ , not _yet_. The purple city seemed to be disintegrating around her. Some word escaped her lips, but she couldn’t hold onto it long enough to remember. Was it a greeting? Amilyn’s name? A promise? She was falling through space…

 

 ***

 

Darkness enveloped Leia’s consciousness, and when she opened her eyes, she found she was still on Luke’s rock, wrapped in his old Jedi robe, and looking out at the sea. The twin suns rising to her left were sending tiny rays of pink sparkling across the sky and the water. She was shaking a little, and she felt exhaustion growing. For the first time since the Battle of Crait, she wept. She wept for Luke, for her son, for Han. She wept for Amilyn Holdo.

“Begun your training at last, you have,” said a voice. Leia turned. Standing on one of the small rocks next to the boulder was a tiny, ghostly person.

“Master Yoda,” she said in amazement.

“Strong with the Force, you are,” he said. “Strong always, you have been.” He climbed up next to her on the rock, gazing out at the dawn.

“Is it too late for me?” Leia asked, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of Luke’s robe. “You thought Luke was too old at only nineteen.”

“For you, too late it will never be. Patient you are. Reckless you are not. Much, already, you have learned.”

Leia sighed. She had come here to examine the Force, to find her own strength. Yet now, after seeing Amilyn for a moment only to have the vision snatched away, she wasn't sure she wanted to go any further.  

“Much on your mind, you have. Rest, you must. Tomorrow begin again, you will.” Yoda’s voice was kind. It seemed to come from the stones around her, from the breeze itself, not just from the ghostly form beside her.

Chewy had fallen asleep against the base of the rock, and there was no need to disturb him. Leia stood up, wrapping Luke’s cloak tighter around her shoulders. She stepped down onto the ground and began to walk down the hill. After a few paces, she turned and looked back. The tiny form of Yoda was still sitting on the rock gazing out at the sea. She walked down the steep steps toward the stone houses. The Lanai were moving about lighting fires, cooking food, sweeping dust from the stones. One of them, the leader she had met last night, approached her and took her arm. They led her to a small stone house overlooking the sea. The house was small and chilly, but a warm fire was blazing in the hearth and heavy blankets lay on a bed in the corner.

Leia sank onto the bed without even removing her shoes. She curled up and watched the fire. So much had passed before her eyes today. She had seen Han’s death and Luke’s final moments. She had felt the turning of the world and the spinning of the galaxy. Yet it was seeing Amilyn alive and real before her that made her lose control. And what had she called out to her? Had Amilyn heard her? As she closed her eyes, Leia could see Amilyn’s face before her. Her lover’s bright blue eyes shone in the sunlight of another world.

 

_Interlude: “Hello/Kifak Enta (Mashup),” songs by Adele and Fairouz, arr. Noel Kharman_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqLtPbEmbJs> _


	6. The Teroch-Type Gunship

_Wine Pairing: Viña Nora Albariño – Spain_

The streets of the purple city were long and winding, and Amilyn couldn’t help but see them as a metaphor for her journey to find Leia. The city was larger than it had seemed from the bottom of the staircase. A large portion of it was built out over the ocean itself. The turquoise waves broke in sprays of sparkling droplets on the purple pillars standing up from the sea. On that side of the town, fisher-people cast long lines from the city walls all the way down into the churning water fifty feet below. Girynni and Yngo led Amilyn to their home. It was bright and cozy. Like many things on this planet, the furniture was all made of stone. The pair had a small holo-machine (nothing powerful enough to project off-world), a computer, and a few appliances for cooking and household chores. Cushions, blankets, and cloths were draped over everything, adding softness to the rooms. Each room had a large window and what seemed to be a fireplace. Amilyn wondered what they would burn on a planet with no apparent source of wood.

“We used to burn wood,” Yngo replied when Amilyn asked them. “These fireplaces were put in when we were still part of the Senate. We traded with other planets, exporting stone and rysh, importing wood and other items.”

“What’s rysh?” Amilyn asked. The sign felt strange in her hands.

“The white matter covering the land,” Yngo explained. “It has unique properties, and other planets once used it as a stable insulator and as food for some livestock. It’s highly nutritious for many types of animals. Here in the Irysian atmosphere, rysh is also flammable if set against something hot enough. This was not discovered until after we severed ties with the Old Republic and we needed our own heat source. Rysh does not maintain this property if it is put in stasis for interplanetary transport, but here we now use it as fuel.” Yngo showed Amilyn a large bucket of the white matter sitting in a pantry.

“What do you use to light it?” Amilyn asked curiously.  

“Stored solar energy.” Yngo signed, directing Amilyn’s attention to a set of tiny, silver tubes that sat just outside one of the large windows in the main room of the house. Gauges on the sides of the tubes showed that they were hot enough to melt flesh in an instant.

The three of them sat around the table. Girynni brought cups of something cool and bubbly to each of them. The day was warming up, and the drink was welcome. From a drawer under the table, Girynni pulled out a map of Irysi and three old translation gadgets.

“We haven’t used these in years,” Yngo signed to Amilyn. “But it will be easier for all of us to talk freely. Girynni can’t speak your language or sign, but they know much more than I about the condition of spacecraft on our planet.” Amilyn nodded and inserted the translator into her ear, pressing the ON button as she did so.

Girynni cleared their throat. “This is where you are now,” they said, pointing to a small star shaped dot close to the equator of the planet on the larger of the two continents. “Our city is called Prys. One thousand miles north of here was once the largest interplanetary dock on Irysi.” They pointed to another, slightly larger star. “It was called Caldamea, after the name of our sun. Irysi’s official designation is Caldamea 2. The planet between our sun and us is uninhabitable. Today, the city of Caldamea is all but deserted, and most of the people have moved inland towards the mountains. There, they have built quarries that serve as the primary source for our stone. Over the past ten years, those of us with a love for history, or with a desire for greater interplanetary understanding, have salvaged several ships from Caldamea. We brought most of the ships back on boats. They are kept in a hold under this city, hidden from most people’s knowledge and notice, mostly used for spare parts. Only one ship is even close to operational. There may be others on this planet, but they would be far away across the sea. Your best chance of finding General Organa will be to take the ship that’s here. The trouble is, it doesn’t fly yet. It hasn’t flown in years. The team that brought it here from Caldamea decided it was in good enough shape to fly it, but they barely made it back before the power core began to overheat. They shut the ship down, and since then, it’s collected dust in the bowels of the city.”

“What sort of ship is it?” Amilyn asked.

“We think it’s a Teroch-type gunship, though it’s missing a few key features such as a Class Two Hyperdrive. It has a Class Three or Four installed, so you won’t be able to get anywhere very quickly, even if we can get it flying. It’s also smaller than any other Teroch-type ship we’ve heard of. It could easily be flown by two crew members, and it’s possible for it to be flown by one alone.”

It didn’t sound particularly hopeful, but it was all Amilyn had to go on. “Can you take me to see it?” she asked.

“Yes,” said Yngo. “Your errand is one that the people of this city will respect. If anyone should take the ship, it’s you. We’ll leave shortly. The entrance to the hangar bay isn’t far from here. Keep the translator; it’ll help you get around.”

“I can’t possibly thank you enough,” Amilyn said, and she meant it. Even if the ship never flew, she was indebted to these people, for they didn’t question the worthiness of her mission.

As they walked through the streets, a flaw in her plan began to nag at the back of her mind. She might have a ship, but she didn’t have a destination. Would it be better to just stay here, to wait for Leia to find her? But what if Leia did the same thing? She needed a sign, some reassurance that she was on the right track. For the first time that day, Amilyn felt humidity and pressure in the air. She remembered the storm over the ocean as she’d plummeted to the ground several days before, was it approaching the delta at last?

As they turned a corner towards the sea, Amilyn saw someone moving towards them. Even from a distance, Amilyn had no doubt that it was Leia. For a second, they looked at each other. The sun did not illuminate Leia. She stood there as though she was surrounded by deep night. Her hair blew towards the wind instead of away from it. She looked eerie in the bright sunlight and colors of Prys. She was clearly apart from this world, and yet there was a reality in her presence. Amilyn held Leia’s gaze and smiled at her, for the expression on her face seemed to beg for reassurance. The moment froze for a fraction of a second, and then Leia vanished, as if blown away by the warm sea breeze. One word arose in Amilyn’s mind, as though Leia had whispered it to her: Ahch-To.

Even as Leia disappeared, the clouds rolled in over the sea. Far away across the water, Amilyn could see the rain beginning to fall. To Amilyn, it felt as though the weather had been waiting, allowing one last moment of sunlight to illuminate the next stage of her quest. As she followed Yngo and Girynni down yet another winding alleyway and the first few raindrops began to fall, Amilyn’s mind was far away from Prys, in another storm, on another world…

 

 ***

 

The afternoon was warm, and the last of the summer storms swept through the jungle of D’Qar. The Resistance base was quiet. Amilyn sat in the corner of one of the smaller hangars, listening to the rain as it beat down on the stones above her head, watching as trickles of water fell from the leaves overhanging the entrance. There wasn’t much to do here, and Amilyn felt restless. Up until now, she hadn’t been expected to stay at a base for longer than a few days, but a year ago, Leia’s resignation from the Galactic Senate had changed everything. The New Republic couldn’t – or wouldn't – openly fight the rising First Order, and the revelation of Leia’s parentage had caused a huge drop in popularity. The Resistance was the solution, and Leia was its General. Amilyn had joined without a second thought, and now she was Commander of the _Ninka_ and Vice Admiral of the Resistance.

And now here they were, far away from the First Order, rebuilding yet again. It was like Hoth all over again, but this time she wasn’t young and hopeful. She had been in this fight for decades now, and if there was one thing she had learned, it was that peace is always fleeting. Leia led the Resistance with wisdom and unwavering strength. She spoke little, saving her words – it seemed – for things of importance. She was never hasty, and she spent a lot of time thinking. Most days, in the afternoon, Leia would leave and walk in the forest, and Amilyn would wait in the hangar, invisible in a corner, making sure she returned.

Even with the rain coming down in sheets, Leia had ventured out, and now Amilyn was sitting in the quiet dampness awaiting her return. Her relationship with Leia these days was intense, but confusing. They couldn’t be open together, not with Han still…well, _somewhere_. There were stolen moments, but those were as fleeting as the tranquility of D’Qar. Sometimes she couldn’t help but feel that her presence on the base only added to Leia’s stress. Amilyn checked the time. Leia was late, and with the rain falling harder than ever, she decided she’d better go look for her. Pulling her jacket tight around her shoulders, Amilyn stepped into the rain.

She set off around the perimeter of the base. As Amilyn rounded the northwest corner, she saw a few footprints, almost washed away by the rain, but still clear enough to follow. It didn’t take long to find Leia. She was standing by the river, watching the water. Her face was calm, if a little sad. The rocky riverbank where she stood was ten feet below where the trees grew on the forest floor, low enough to be out of sight of the nearest Resistance building. She must have come here to be truly alone. Amilyn paused, looking down at Leia by the water. Now that she’d found her, she wasn’t worried, and she turned to head back, leaving Leia to her own thoughts.

“You don’t have to leave, Amilyn,” Leia said in a voice that carried over the noise of the rain and the running river.

Amilyn started and turned back towards the river. Leia hadn’t turned toward her, hadn’t seemed to see her approach. “How’d you know I was here?” she asked.

“I knew you’d come and find me one of these days,” Leia said with a smile, turning towards her. Amilyn climbed down the bank. The muddy ground was slippery, but she made it down in one piece and joined Leia by the water. Leia took Amilyn’s hand and laid her head on her shoulder. The rain had already soaked through Amilyn’s jacket, but she wrapped part of it around Leia anyway, holding her close.

“I told Han about you,” Leia said quietly. “The last time he was here, I decided I couldn’t keep lying.” Amilyn didn’t know what to say to this. Leia watched the water for a moment. Then she continued, “He needed to stop feeling guilty for leaving, but I still love him; I always will.”

“That’s as it should be,” said Amilyn quietly. “I told you all those years ago, I’ll be here either way.”

“I can’t dwell in the past anymore, not even on the good memories. I’m not ready to examine what I felt back then for you or for Han, for Luke or my son. I have to move forward and concern myself with the future.” Leia turned to look into Amilyn’s eyes. “I want you to be a part of that future,” she said.

“Yes, of course,” said Amilyn. “Always.” She bent her head to kiss Leia’s forehead, but Leia tilted her head and captured Amilyn’s mouth instead. Electricity surged through Amilyn’s body and she couldn’t stop a tiny moan from escaping from her throat. Leia hadn’t kissed her like this since they were together on Hoth. This was more than just a few, fiery seconds in a closet off the Resistance strategy room; this was somehow tenderer and more passionate at the same time. The kiss seemed to contain all the things Leia couldn’t put into words. Amilyn felt the conflict within Leia’s heart, yet she also sensed a certainty in her decision to let Han go. She felt Leia’s relief that her choice was made; she would no longer be torn in two.

The rain was letting up. Here and there bright patches of sunlight illuminated the forest floor as the late afternoon sun of D’Qar burned through the low clouds. The air was still warm, but the tense humidity that had hung over the jungle was gone. The water in the river twinkled in the sunlight, bubbling up over the banks to pool around their feet. Suddenly aware of how utterly soaked they were, Amilyn broke the kiss with a laugh that was lost amidst the sounds of the water and the chattering of birds in the treetops. Leia kissed Amilyn’s neck, and then she laughed, too. Amilyn knew this wasn’t the end of their story, knew there was strife to come, but for the moment she was overwhelmed and bemused by the happiness of kissing in the rain.

Leia took Amilyn’s hand again and led her towards the water. “Come swim with me,” Leia said, pulling her sopping wet dress over her head and throwing it aside. “The water is clean, and really it’s why I come to this spot.” She stepped out of her underclothes and left them on the bank.

Lately, Leia had looked older. She had a lifetime of loss behind her, after all. But today the past had no hold on her anymore. She might’ve been the girl Amilyn met at sixteen on Alderaan, or the young woman who had fallen into her arms on Hoth. Amilyn pulled her clothes off, threw them over a rock to dry in the sun, and waded into the water after Leia. The water wasn’t deep and the river bottom was covered in round, rough stones that made walking easy. The water was clear and cool. After days of heat, it felt more refreshing than anything she could’ve imagined.  

A few yards out into the stream, Leia was leaning against a rock. Though the water only reached her stomach, Amilyn allowed her feet to float off the rocky riverbed, and she swam towards Leia. She looked up from the water into Leia’s eyes. Leia’s hands moved over the top of the water, skimming over the twinkling waves. As Amilyn approached, she took Leia’s hand and kissed it. Turning her hand over, she planted a kiss on the inside of Leia’s wrist, just as she had all those years ago on Alderaan. If this was to be a new beginning, they had to start somewhere. Amilyn felt Leia’s pulse beat faster under her lips. She moved both hands to the rock on either side of Leia’s hips. She allowed her body to float on top of the water, bringing her face close to Leia’s body where the top of the water rippled against the skin at the base of her ribs.  

Amilyn let her breath move the water droplets clinging to Leia’s skin, but she didn’t quite make contact. She saw goose bumps rise on Leia’s skin as Amilyn’s breath cooled the water. She found her footing again and allowed herself to slowly move up Leia’s torso, glancing every so often into Leia’s eyes, which were dark as the forest on the opposite bank. At last, she pressed her mouth onto the hollow between Leia’s collarbones. Leia arched her neck, pushing her body into Amilyn’s. Amilyn felt Leia’s hands slide down her back, splashing the water around them as she pulled her closer. The heat grew between them, their breath quickened. The sun, now sinking into the trees upstream, cast rays of red, orange, and pink over their entwined bodies. The river rushed on around them, a life-giving force like their own blood coursing through their veins. For a moment, time stood still. There was only this moment. Even the current of the river seemed to pause, eddying in the space between past and future.  

The river rushed on, and Amilyn pulled Leia away from the rock into the shallows by the bank. She sat down with her legs stretched out into the current. Leia sat beside her, holding onto her. The water ran gold in the setting sun, and a light breeze stirred in the treetops, shaking the last remnants of the heavy rain down onto their heads. They sat like that for a long time as twilight crept over the forest. Leia played with Amilyn’s fingers. Amilyn stroked Leia’s hair.

At last Leia sighed and said, “We’d better head back. I’d rather not be discovered naked by a river bank if they send out a search party.”

“Let’s come back tomorrow,” Amilyn said. “I like it here.”

“I thought you would.” Leia pulled Amilyn to her feet and threw her clothes and shoes towards her. Amilyn helped Leia arrange her clothes. Heading back to the base, they walked in silence for a few minutes.

“What are you thinking?” Amilyn asked, looking sideways at Leia.

“I’m thinking that this is the happiest I’ve been in far too long a time,” said Leia, squeezing Amilyn’s hand.

“Me too,” said Amilyn…

 

 ***

 

On D’Qar the rain had ended, giving way to sunshine and golden light on the river. On Irysi however, the sunlight had gone and the rains were just beginning. Amilyn stood, still wrapped in her memories of Leia and the river, staring at the Teroch-type gunship hidden deep beneath Prys. Yngo and Girynni had left to make dinner. Yngo had laid a hand on Amilyn’s arm as they left, promising to have food waiting for her if she returned to their house that night, or to bring her something if she decided to stay here. Her two new friends seemed to understand that Amilyn’s mind was far away from Irysi.  

Leia had given her a direction: Ahch-To. Leia must be headed there, if she wasn’t there already. Maybe she had found Luke or was learning from the temple itself. It made a certain amount of sense, Amilyn thought. She could almost hear Leia’s voice saying: “The Force is strong with my family.” Amilyn smiled at the memories of Leia, but her face fell as she looked back at the ship before her. There were plenty of tools in the hangar bay, but she wasn’t sure that the entire engineering strength of the Old Republic would’ve been enough to get this ship flying again.

Yet she had to start somewhere. Pulling herself into the present, Amilyn gathered what she needed. She pulled welding torches and protective gear off of shelves, along with wrenches, hammers, cables, and everything else that might come in useful. She inventoried the remains of the other ships, searching for parts with enough integrity to serve the Teroch-type gunship. Yngo had mentioned an overheating problem in the power core, but that seemed to be the least of the ship’s problems. The weapons systems were disconnected, the hyperdrive was older than she was, and one of the atmospheric engines was half eaten by rust. Amilyn was fairly sure the rust had damaged the cooling ducts, and that was probably where the over-heating problem came in.

It had been years since she worked on a ship. The disadvantage of being a high-ranking officer was that one rarely had time for hands-on experience. She had always liked machines and computers, and she had maintained her knowledge of mechanics as a hobby even after joining the upper ranks of the Resistance. This Teroch-type gunship however was way outside her realm of understanding. This was an Old Republic vessel that followed Old Republic expectations of the world. _There has to be something I can fix_ , Amilyn thought _, somewhere to start._ Poking around underneath the main console, she found a cluster of tangled wire. This, at least, she knew she could sort out. _And then it’s just one thing after another. Step by step_ , she thought. _Until it’s done or I die of old age._  

Days passed. Amilyn only left the hangar to sleep. Late at night she would wend her way back to Girynni and Yngo’s house and collapse in the spare bedroom with the window looking out towards the sea. In the morning she would wake to salty air, confused by dreams of Leia that always seemed to end with the vision Amilyn had seen on her first day here: a version of Leia that the sun couldn’t touch. Once in a while there were happy memories of Leia in their quarters on Hoth or of Leia in the river on D’Qar, but most of the time she seemed to be slipping away from Amilyn, becoming more like a myth than a truth.

Despite the despair pricking at the corners of Amilyn’s mind, the Teroch-type gunship was – day by day – becoming flyable. After a month, the only problem left was the atmospheric engine that – for some inexplicable reason – still fed all its heat back into the power core. The engines for space travel and hyperspace were slow, but functional. The weapons had been removed. It wasn’t as if she would need themEvery wire connected to the correct port, and every button and lever on the console worked like a charm. The journey to Ahch-To was a long one, but Yngo and Girynni were confident she could at least get to Arda, which was a planet within a few parsecs of Ahch-To. There she could recharge and repair before the final leg of the trip. But Amilyn was getting ahead of herself. There wasn’t much point in planning a journey if the ship couldn’t get her out of the atmosphere without blowing up. She had put off looking at the atmospheric engine; she’d had plenty to do mending everything else. In the end however, there was nothing else left to fix.  

She began by just getting rid of the rust. Yngo and Girynni came to help her that day, and they spent several pleasant hours talking about life in Prys. _I could retire here_ , thought Amilyn. _It’s a beautiful place._ When the rust was gone, Yngo left to fetch the midday meal, but Girynni remained to help Amilyn weld scrap metal over the holes the rust had gnawed into the vents.

“I don’t know how you go on,” said Girynni.

“What do you mean?”

“When Yngo isn’t here, even for a few minutes, I feel…run down, not myself. You haven’t seen Leia in weeks. I don’t know how you cope.”

“Years of practice, I guess,” Amilyn said with a shrug. She worked quietly for a few minutes, placing each piece of metal as though it were a jigsaw puzzle, hoping that when all was finished the pieces would form a picture of flight. Then she continued, “But I do feel torn apart. I like being on my own…or I _have_ liked being on my own. But now, for the first time, I have a chance at a new life. And just when I’d reached that possibility, it was torn away from me…and I’ll do anything to get it back…to get back to her.”

Girynni placed their hand over Amilyn’s. “I think you’re forgetting she’s looking for you, too. I don’t think you’ll have to go all the way to Ahch-To.” Amilyn caught Girynni’s eye and smiled at them. Girynni was right. In her obsession over the Teroch-type gunship, Amilyn had forgotten Leia’s determination. If Leia was on Ahch-To, she must have used a ship to get there. The hour was still a desperate one, but the world looked a little brighter all of a sudden.

When Yngo returned, Amilyn ate well for the first time in days. Afterwards, the three of them went back to welding. They worked in silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts. The pieces slowly came together, and at last, the work was done. Amilyn climbed out from the engine and stood on the floor of the hangar, gazing up at the new Teroch-type gunship.

She had to admit, it was the strangest ship she’d ever worked on. The main hold was a rectangular box that stood up vertically from two leg-like braces. Poking out at odd angles from the main body of the ship there were smaller compartments, some square, some round. The front of the ship was triangular, like the beak of a great bird. The wings on either side were short and broad, almost like the spines of a fish. It looked like a bizarre sea creature with laser canons for arms. And would this creature swim faster than lightspeed through space? Amilyn was skeptical.

Yngo and Girynni stood by her side, looking at the vessel before them. Finally, Girynni said, “We have to try it.” Amilyn could tell they were excited; she knew Girynni loved ships.

“All right,” she agreed. “Take me for a spin.”  

“This will shock the whole city,” said Yngo with a laugh in their voice. “Most people have no idea this hangar even exists.”

Girynni climbed into the pilot seat, Amilyn and Yngo stood behind them. After more than sixty years, the Teroch-type gunship whirred into action, as Girynni primed the controls and moved the ship into position to leave the hangar.

“May the Force be with us,” said Yngo. Amilyn smiled and closed her eyes. She felt the ship accelerate, and then they were flying. Amilyn could feel the rumbling of the atmospheric engine. It sounded a bit clunky, but it was holding together. She opened her eyes. Girynni was skimming over the ocean, traveling north along the shoreline. They pulled the ship upwards in a great arc, circling in towards the land. In front of them now, Amilyn could see Prys, twinkling below them as the sun broke through the clouds for the first time in days. Amilyn reached out and grabbed Yngo’s hand.

“Thank you, my friends,” Amilyn said. Yngo smiled at her and squeezed her hand. Girynni swooped low over the city. Amilyn could see people in the street looking up in amazement at the ship. Flying over the acres of rysh, Amilyn looked down to see tiny specks moving over the ground as animals ran from the shadow of the vessel. She drank in the view out of the ship’s windows, and she looked up at the clouds above them. They were no longer a gloomy presence; they were the gateway to the next stage of the quest. As Girynni brought the ship in to land, Amilyn wiped tears from her eyes. They disembarked. Standing on the purple stone floor of the hangar, Amilyn embraced her two friends.

“I owe you so much,” Amilyn whispered. She felt a lump in her throat. “I can never thank you enough for what you’ve done. I’ll be back one day.”

“You and Leia will be very welcome here,” said Yngo with a smile.

“Come,” said Girynni, “you must stay and rest one more night. In the morning, we will make sure you are well supplied.”

Amilyn followed Yngo and Girynni back through the streets of Prys. Many people stared at them, and several approached to ask about the ship. Yngo and Girynni just smiled at them and gave tantalizing hints. There was no need to compromise the secrecy of the hangar’s whereabouts just yet. The mystery would hold everyone enthralled for a few days, and by that time Amilyn would be gone, and the work of restoring the rest of the old ships could begin.

That night, there were no eerie visions of Leia to interrupt her sleep. Amilyn slept dreamlessly, and awoke feeling almost giddy with excitement. It was a glorious morning. The rains had passed over them at last. The ocean was blue and the purple city shone like a beacon behind her as Amilyn pulled the Teroch-type gunship into the sky. On the radio, she heard Yngo’s voice say, “May the Force be with you, dear friend.”

Amilyn sped upwards through the atmosphere until Irysi was a globe of blue and white behind her. She turned the ship to look back for a moment. Maybe they really could retire there. She turned the ship towards Arda, the next stop on her journey. Even at hyperspeed, it would take a few days to arrive there. The hyperdrive, after all, was way below the modern standard. The computer beeped as she keyed in the coordinates given to her by Yngo and Girynni. Arda was as much a mystery to them as it was to her, but in the past the Irysians had good relationships with several of the humanoid species on Arda, and Amilyn had to put all of her hope in that history.

Amilyn primed the hyperdrive. The last time she’d done this it was on the _Raddus_. According to every official record, that had been Amilyn Holdo’s final act. But cheating death was her thing. How many times had she been “presumed dead”? She pulled the lever to move the ship into hyperspace. The lights of the stars around her seemed to stretch and then blur into a pure, blue light.

The ship would do the work now. Amilyn stood up and walked to the supply closet. She grabbed a few small bottles of wine and some of the food from Prys. Amilyn’s sleeping quarters were a level above the console, and a computer in the corner allowed her to see exactly what was happening outside the main window. She pulled off the bright red shirt and trousers she’d borrowed from Yngo and put on a plain yellow dress that Girynni had insisted she bring for sleeping. Opening one of the bottles of wine, she leaned back against the cushions on the makeshift bed she’d made out of scrap metal and an old mattress. At the other side of this quest, Leia was waiting. It was almost as if she could feel Leia’s hand leading her onwards, pulling her into a shared future.

_Interlude: “Let It Be,” by Hayley Kiyoko_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dM8wrqvuB2s> _


	7. The Lessons of Master Yoda

_Wine Pairing: Mt. Beautiful Pinot Noir – New Zealand_

Leia awoke to midday sunlight, and to the sound of the Lanai moving about outside the house. The day was warm and she felt refreshed, ready to make a new start. Chewy was asleep against the wall by the fireplace. She could tell the Lanai had come in to check on her. There was an extra blanket over her legs and a small container of blue, milk-like liquid on a small table. Leia pulled back the blankets and swung her legs onto the floor. The bed was low to the ground, probably to accommodate the relatively short stature of the Lanai, but she wasn’t tall. She imagined Amilyn trying to squeeze herself onto a Lanai-sized bed and smiled at the thought. She walked to the table and picked up the cup of blue milk. She sniffed it. The smell was similar to Jabba the Hutt’s palace, and Leia wasn’t overly fond of the days she’d spent there. However, the milk was all she had for breakfast and it would have to do. She plugged her nose and drained the cup. The taste wasn’t nearly as bad as the smell.

As Leia stepped outdoors, the sharp tang of the sea met her nostrils. High in the sky, strange birds swooped through the clouds. Occasionally one would dive towards the waves, often emerging with a fish in its beak. Silvery mist still hung in the air around the tallest point of Luke’s island, but the dew on the grass of the lower slopes had long since evaporated. The suns were high in the sky. Leia wondered how many hours were in a day on this strange planet. The paths and staircases leading up the island formed an intricate pattern of crisscrossing possibilities. Leia didn’t much like the idea of returning to Luke’s outcrop. It felt a bit morbid to train there, so she set off up a different set of steps.

The climb was long, but Leia was in no hurry. There was no urgency in her quest. Now that she was here, preparing to learn what she could from Master Yoda, to define herself beyond titles and duties, she felt calm. Though the image of Amilyn last night had shaken her, today was a new day. Last night she had been exhausted by change and by sadness. Today that was behind her, replaced by a deep respect for Luke and for this place. The steps came to an end and she found herself in a grassy saddle, mostly flat but for a few rocks and boulders. Leia was not entirely surprised to see the ghostly form of Yoda sitting on a boulder in the center of the grassy bowl.

Yoda was facing her, but his eyes were closed, as if he were asleep. As she drew closer however, he opened one large eye and stared at her. Leia paused a few steps from Yoda. He closed both eyes again. Leia sat down on a rock nearby.

After many long minutes had passed in silence, Leia finally asked, “Where do I start?”

Yoda opened both eyes and fixed her with a piercing gaze. “Decide for you, I cannot.”

“I’m no Jedi,” said Leia, “and I’m not sure I can be a Jedi. I’m done with fighting, for one thing. I’ve seen too much suffering already. I’m not interested in using the Force to move rocks or win battles. But Luke always said the Force is strong in my family – in _our_ family. And he’s right. I can feel it. I can use it, sometimes. He always wanted me to learn.”

“For Luke, you came here?”

“Not exactly,” said Leia after a moment. “I came for myself, too. All my life I’ve defined myself by my duty: first to Alderaan, then to the Rebellion, then to my family, and then to the Resistance. I am strong with the Force, but I’ve never really figured out what that means for _me_ , for my _spirit_ , and not just for the Resistance.”

Yoda looked at her for a long moment. Leia wondered if he would turn her away. Finally, Yoda spoke. “A powerful Jedi Master, you could have been. Trained you, we should have. But now, new lessons to learn, you have.”

“You’ll train me?” Leia asked.

“Train you, I will.” Yoda stood up and hopped down from the rock. His ghostly form made no imprint in the soft grass. He seemed to float just above the ground, and his body passed through the blades of grass, which blew gently in the sea breeze. Leia made to stand up from the rock, but Yoda shook his head.

“Stay,” he said. “Close your eyes. With your mind, reach out. The first lesson, this is.”

Leia sat cross-legged on the rock and closed her eyes. As she had the night before, she cast her mind out from herself. She let Yoda’s voice wash over her. He led her around the island, even through the darkness of the mirror cave deep under the surface of the ocean. Suddenly she was sitting on the rock again, present in her own body. The lesson changed.

“The stones, you feel, yes,” Yoda said.

“Yes,” said Leia. She felt the vibrating tension between each stone and the island.

“A stone, choose one, you must.” Leia focused on a large gray-blue stone by the edge of the cliff. It had flecks of silver in it that glinted in the sun. Without opening her eyes, Leia could sense the stone rising from the ground. She could feel its weight, but it didn’t burden her.

“The stone, to the water, it must go,” said Yoda.

Leia felt the energy between herself and the stone, between the stone and the island. There was a bond between island and stone, and yet the water, too, had its own pull, its own energy. As she moved the stone over the edge of the cliff, Leia felt the pull of the water strengthen below. She let the stone drop, following its fall with her mind, until it sank into the water below.

“The change, examine it,” Yoda said.

The spot where the stone had been was different from before. The grass around the newly bare ground was already preparing to knit over the spot. The tiny creatures living under the stone buried themselves in the soil, shying away from the light. The removal of the stone had caused a ripple of change to flood the whole island. It was almost imperceptible, and yet the Force surrounding each element of the island was slightly changed. The energy reorganized itself in response to the stone’s displacement. Leia opened her eyes. She saw where the stone had sat. It had been larger than she realized. In the sea below, she saw concentric circles of ripples spreading from where it had dropped into the water.

“The whole island is different,” Leia said, turning to Yoda.

“Such a small change,” he mused quietly, “yet different, the island is. Such is the way of the Force within the world, within us.”

Leia had a feeling she knew what he was getting at. “My whole life has changed lately.”

“Great pain, you felt. Great loss,” said Yoda. “Your reaction to loss, most important it is. Unrealistic, grief is. Unaccepting, angry, and afraid, grief is. Fear and anger, to the dark side, they lead. Pain, you felt. Loss, you felt. Sadness, you felt. Accepted these feelings, you did. Better, the island was, before?”

“Better? Before I dropped the stone?” Leia asked, surprised at his question. “No. Just…different.”

Yoda nodded solemnly, as if he had explained a great point. Leia wasn’t sure she understood yet. They sat in silence for a few moments. Leia gazed out at the sea, but the bare spot where the silvery rock had sat kept drawing her gaze.  

“Every loss I’ve experienced, the destruction of Alderaan, Han’s death, Luke’s final moments…each of those tore me apart.” Yoda gave a tiny nod of assent, but didn’t speak. Leia continued, “Those losses changed me, but…” She broke off. It cost her something to say aloud what she knew was true. She took a deep breath and went on. “…but I never tried to change _them_. I never thought I could rewind time, rewrite what happened.”

Yoda sighed and nodded. “Already know you, the first lesson,” he said.

“I wasn’t better before each loss; I wasn’t better after them. But I am who I am because of them.” The words rose to Leia’s lips, but even after saying them she had to pause to consider their meaning, their implication. Then she asked, “Who am I, then? I’m not Princess Leia; I’m not Senator Organa or General Organa. I’m not a Jedi. I’m the daughter of a Sith, and I’m the _mother_ of a Sith, but neither Vader nor Ben defines me. I’m the sister of Luke, but he doesn’t define me, either. Am I someone who life happens _to?_ With no control? I may not have tried to rewrite history, but perhaps that’s because I’ve never written the story of my own life. I…” She didn’t know what else to say.

“Nevertheless,” Yoda said, interrupting her. “Choices, you made. Promises, you kept. Strength, you showed. Protected thousands of lives, you did. Your duty, it was, yes.”

“I’ve had enough of duty, I think,” said Leia. Her tone was bitter.

Yoda held up a tiny, three-fingered hand and went on. “Yes, duty it was. But your _heart_ it was, also. Your compassion, it was. Strong you are with the Force, and balance – always – you sought.”

Leia thought about this for a moment. “I wanted peace,” she said at last. “I was willing to sacrifice myself against the Empire, against the First Order, but everyone always felt I was indispensable.”

“Indispensable, yes, in a way,” said Yoda, nodding vigorously. “The missing link, you are, the last Skywalker to be trained.”

“Skywalker? I don’t know.” The name felt strange in Leia’s mouth. It had never been hers.

“Skywalker, you are,” Yoda reasserted firmly.

Leia stared out at the sea. She had come here to define herself _apart_ from duty and leadership and responsibility, yet here was Yoda – the greatest Jedi master – telling her to take up the Skywalker mantle, to fulfill the destiny of her bloodline. With a sigh, she turned to look at Yoda.

“Do I have to go back to the Resistance?” she asked.

“The Resistance?” Yoda said in surprise. “No! No. Find your own way, you must. A great leader, you have been, but passing, your time is, I think.” He looked into her eyes. “Peace for _yourself_ , you must find now. Peace of the mind, peace of the spirit. Always you have known the Force; always, around you, the Force has stirred…” The waves rushed over the rocks below as Leia listened to Yoda’s words. She understood at last what he’d been trying to say. Her only duty now was to herself, to her own spiritual health. She had to make peace with her past and her future, but to do so, she had to care for the present, for her own soul.  

It was evening by the time Leia returned to the little stone house. Chewy was waiting for her. There was hot food on the table and a fire on the hearth. Though she had woken up late in the day, Leia felt exhausted. The lesson from Master Yoda hadn’t been physically taxing, but her mind felt worn out. She and Chewy ate in silence, but when the meal was finished, Leia spoke.

“Chewy, I’m sorry about Han,” Leia said. Caring for the present meant caring for Chewy, too. “You knew him the longest, and I don’t think anyone really remembered that. Neither of us was given a chance to say good-bye, but I was given permission to mourn. I was _encouraged_ to mourn. I think we all just expected you to be strong and carry on.” Chewy made a soft, sad sound. There were a few lanterns with old candles in them lying around the room. Leia gathered a few of them together and brought them back to the table. She broke one of the candles away from the hardened wax at the bottom of the lantern and set the wick close to the dying embers in the fireplace. The candle blazed suddenly, and Leia pulled it away. She lit three of the lanterns.

“One is for Alderaan, one is for Luke and our parents and Ben,” Leia said carefully, “and this one’s for Han.” She pushed the third lantern towards Chewy. He took it in one enormous hand and she took his other hand. The lanterns sent shadows dancing around the room. After a moment, Chewy put Han’s lantern back on the table, next to the other two. Together they stared at the lights. The candles dripped and sputtered, but each was tall enough to burn for several hours. After a while Leia rose from the table and sat down on the bed. She pulled Luke’s cloak from her shoulders and took off her shoes. Climbing under the thick blankets, Leia stared out at the room, at the lights still glittering on the table. Chewy sat with his head in his hand, and Leia could feel his sadness as keenly as her own…

 

 ***

 

Eight months before the Battle of Hoth, Amilyn Holdo left Echo Base. She was called away on a long-term mission with Colonel Verne’s company, a mission that many believed was too desperate to attempt. Leia, left behind with an empty bed and an empty heart, hid her emotions under layers of strategic efficiency. She hid behind her work, and she barely spoke to anyone. Occasionally Luke and Han would try to cheer her up, but since neither of them really knew what was wrong, their attempts were mostly fruitless. Nevertheless, Leia appreciated it and she began to find comfort in their boisterousness.

For a few months, Leia heard from Amilyn. She wrote coded messages into the ends of intelligence reports, and once in a while she sent Leia a hologram. But then Amilyn wrote that her squadron was going deep into the Unknown Regions. There would be no more correspondence. The words “I love you forever” sat hidden in code at the bottom of the final report, seared into Leia’s mind and soul. Not long after that, word came from another source that Amilyn’s squadron had disappeared.  

The weeks before the Battle of Hoth were some of Leia’s worst. Her fear for Amilyn was all consuming, and yet the secrecy of their relationship meant that she had no one to talk to. Han and Luke just didn’t invite confidences so far as that was concerned, but they were still her friends, her support. Weeks passed and Leia’s fondness for both of them grew, even as her sadness deepened. She remembered what Amilyn had said about her star chart and Han’s, and it didn’t seem so impossible any more. He drove her up the wall, but he was brave and ultimately good-hearted. Every day, Leia lit a lantern for Amilyn, but it became a lantern of mourning instead of one of hope. Amilyn was gone.

Han seemed to understand the pressure she was under. He teased her about it, but he also found subtle ways to reassure her that she knew what she was doing. When he said he was leaving, Leia was angry. She was angry that he would even consider it. She couldn’t lose anyone else, and neither could the Rebellion. Then everything happened so fast. Han rescued Luke from the wastes of Hoth, Echo Base was compromised, and her evacuation plan failed. Suddenly she was on the Millennium Falcon again with Han and Chewy and Threepio, and Luke was off on his own adventure.

She wasn’t sure she meant it when she told Han she loved him in Cloud City, but by the time she arrived at Jabba’s Palace to rescue him a year later, her feelings were certain. After the Battle of Endor and the fall of the Empire, the first year was wonderful, and she understood the birth of their son as a prelude to many happy years together. When Ben left to train with Luke however, Han had misgivings. His temper became shorter, and Leia could sense his fear. Around the same time, Amilyn Holdo stumbled back into the living world, and though Leia was devoted to Han, he couldn’t fail to realize that her life was full of joy and relief while his was not. He needed adventures and open space.

Despite all the tension between them, Leia hated watching Han leave, and Amilyn’s presence – though strictly professional and often awkward – brought her comfort. For a long time, Leia did her best to maintain her relationship with Han. She still loved him deeply after all, and every so often her heart would still race at his touch. When Ben turned to the dark side and she and Han separated, Leia ushered Amilyn back into her heart, and (eventually) into her bed. Leia never regretted anything with Amilyn, but she had many regrets with Han. She regretted that she couldn’t comfort him in the shared loss of their son. She regretted not being honest with him about Amilyn. When Han died, the pain Leia felt for him was made all the more intense by the feeling that she had failed him. There was so much more to be said to him, so much more that he deserved to hear.

Han’s face stood out clearly to her, careworn, as it had been when she’d last seen him. He had embraced her that day, and she had sensed many unspoken words in the tension of his body. He had regrets, too. Perhaps it was enough to know that – deep down – they _both_ feared they could’ve done better, no matter what words were said in desperate attempts at reassurance. Leia wasn’t sure if the image in her mind was a creation of her own or whether it came from the Force, but it didn’t much matter. _We did our best, my love_ , Leia said to the image in her mind. Han’s face faded away from her. He was no longer a real presence at the corner of her mind; her regrets would no longer have a platform. Her heart felt worn, yet the energy of the Force within her flowed on. It changed slightly to circle around the hole left by Han, like the current of a river eddying around a rock in the stream. She observed the change with a clear mind. It was neither better nor worse. It simply _was…_

 

*** 

 

Over the next few weeks, Leia returned every day to the grassy saddle near the top of the island to learn from Master Yoda. Using the Force came naturally to her, but examining her own feelings was more of a problem. She’d never had to examine what she truly felt about Ben’s betrayal. Leia feared that she would slip and accidentally contact Ben, reveal her position, compromise, not only her own safety, but Amilyn’s as well. If the First Order found out that Amilyn was still alive…Often, her fears became an unassailable obstacle. In those moments, Yoda would encourage her to rest, to recollect herself in the present moment before venturing again into the past.

Day by day it became easier and less terrifying to observe Ben. Leia didn’t know whether what she was seeing was the present or the past, but for her, it didn’t matter. Either way, her motherhood of him was over. As painful as that was, it allowed her to step-back, to examine his life without feeling responsible for the conflict she sensed within his soul. The conflict was his burden, not hers. Master Yoda helped Leia to view her son through a lens of compassion, and though her heart was still broken, it didn’t hurt so much anymore.

“Is there any hope for him, Master?” Leia asked one day.

“For Kylo Ren, hope there is not,” Yoda replied solemnly. “But for Ben Solo, hope – always – there will be.”

“No one’s ever really gone,” she said, echoing Luke’s words from Crait. She sighed. “May the Force be with him, then.” There was nothing else she could say. Yoda nodded slowly and closed his eyes.

Leia gazed out at the sea. The weather was cloudy, and in the distance, she could see patches of rain skirting over the water. Sunlight beamed down through breaks in the clouds, casting golden light onto patches of sparkling water. Over the past weeks, she hadn’t thought about Amilyn very much. She had felt content in the knowledge that she was moving steadily towards her. Now however, with so much training behind her, her longing became urgent again. Soon she would see her again, stand in her presence, hold onto her and never let go. The thought of Amilyn sent a shiver through Leia’s body as if every nerve was reaching out to find her. Leia closed her eyes and clutched Luke’s cloak tighter around her body.

Finally, Yoda spoke again. “One more lesson, there is. The future, you must face.”

“I suppose that only makes sense.” Leia paused before continuing. “In a way, it is my future that has stopped me from becoming a Jedi. You see, I’m...” This was harder than she expected, perhaps because she’d never spoken the words to someone other than Amilyn, or perhaps it was that she feared Yoda’s judgement. Yoda sat patiently, waiting for her to finish. In her mind’s eye, Leia could see Amilyn’s face in front of her. Her calm smile was reassuring; it gave Leia strength, as if she and Amilyn were alone and she could say anything. “Master Yoda, I’m in love.”

“In love, you are, hmm?” Yoda asked, with a laugh in his voice. He stamped his feet on the grass. The blades didn’t bend under his ghostly claws. “Beautiful, love is.” He seemed genuinely happy for her. Leia was confused.

“All my life I’ve been told that the Jedi must eschew romantic love.”

“Careful, a Jedi must be,” Yoda said. “Rare it is, to find a Jedi who can bear the burden.”

“The burden?” asked Leia.

“The love of a Jedi,” Yoda went on, “built on trust it must be. Complete trust. Fear, to the dark side it leads. Fear of loss. Failed, your father did, in this task. Your first night here, a challenge, it was. Explain it.”

Leia thought back. She remembered sitting on Luke’s rock, casting her mind further and further. She remembered sensing the rebuilding of the Resistance. She remembered observing her son and the bitter numbness and shame she had felt at seeing his face. Then Amilyn had appeared, and she’d been real, not just an image. It had been as though she couldn’t help but contact her if she could. She wanted to see her, but more than that, she wanted to _be seen_ , to have some reassurance that Amilyn Holdo could still look back at her.

“I’m not sure what happened,” said Leia. “I could observe my son without contacting him, but I couldn’t just _watch_ Amilyn. In that moment, I needed her to know I was alive. I needed her to know I was going to find her. My love for her broke my control.”

“If danger, you saw, what action would you take?”

Leia could answer that right away. “I would leave and fly in…any direction until I had some word of her.”

“And then?” Yoda prompted.

Leia stared at him. “I…I probably wouldn’t find her,” she said, a catch in her voice. Leia knew it was the truth. She had no way of knowing where Amilyn was; that’s why she’d come here in the first place.

Yoda nodded. “The last lesson, this is,” he said quietly. “If love her you do, let her go you must. Trust her, you must. Utterly. Attachment, it is, that the Jedi must avoid.”

“So, I have to believe I couldn’t save her?” Leia asked. “I have to trust her to find me, without guarantees.” Even as the word’s left Leia’s mouth, they sounded ridiculous. For _of course_ she trusted Amilyn to find her. She looked at Yoda, sitting on the rock. Finally, she said, “but I _do_ trust her to find me. I’ve always trusted her to find me. She has cheated death more than I have, which is saying something. Amilyn always comes back, and she’s never needed my help to find her way.”

“Reach out again,” said Yoda.

Leia took a deep breath and felt the Force flow through her body. It was familiar to her now, and she felt calm as she cast her mind further and further away. At last, there was Amilyn again. This time she was on a ship, staring out the window at the lights of hyperspace racing by. The need for contact from Amilyn filled Leia's heart, yet she was master of the urge now. She filled her mind instead with hope for Amilyn's journey, wherever she was headed. She filled her mind with compassion and empathy for the woman before her, who looked so determined. Leia acknowledged her own fear and anxiety as she watched Amilyn's ship hurtle through space, but she didn't let the feelings consume her.  _I'll see you soon_ , Leia thought. Yoda had said to let her go. As the image vanished around Leia and she found herself back on the Temple Island of Ahch-To, Leia could feel a change in her heart. Though she had let Amilyn float away, the bond between them felt stronger than ever. 

Yoda smiled at her. “Almost a Jedi, you are, I think,” he said.

“I don’t think so,” said Leia. “I could’ve been a Jedi, but this is all I need now. I needed to learn who I was and what the Force meant to me.”

“Complete, your training is,” said Yoda, inclining his head in a tiny bow.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be done,” said Leia with a laugh. She stood up and looked into Yoda’s eyes.

“Leia,” Yoda said quietly, “the last you are to be trained in the old ways. To those you meet, pass on what you have learned. Balance, you will bring, and peace, you shall find at last,” he paused for a long moment, and then he said, “The woman, on Irysi, she was. Good friendships there, I had. To Arda, she is travelling.” Leia knew he meant Amilyn.

“Thank you, Master, for all you’ve done,” said Leia. “May the Force be with you.” Yoda smiled at her as he vanished, disappearing back into the wind.

 

_Interlude: “Goldberg Variations, BWV 988, Aria,” by J.S. Bach, pianist: Simone Dinnerstein_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTGGinU7Mrc> _


	8. Tinúviel

_Wine Pairing: Risata Moscato d’Asti – Italy_

Amilyn awoke to the sound of a proximity alert. She’d fallen asleep at the console, her face pressed against the left-hand window. For one moment of panic she thought the alarm was warning about something to do with the ship, but after shaking sleep from her eyes, she realized the sound was merely an announcement. She was approaching the planet Arda, the next stop on her journey towards Leia. The computer beeped again, alerting her that it was time to pull out of hyperspace. The lever was cold in her hand as she pushed it into the off position. All at once, stars were visible again. They were mostly new to her, but this part of space was less isolated than Irysi and a few stars in the distance reminded her of past adventures. Yet she’d never visited Arda, a small terrestrial world that had stood firm with the Rebellion and then with the Resistance despite a sparse, widespread population depleted by centuries of war.  

The Teroch-type gunship soared closer to the blue-green globe. Relying on the tales of their grandparents, Yngo and Girynni had told Amilyn to look for a bay on the Western side of the single continent, towards the North. If she followed the river inland she would find a number of humanoid towns and cities. The ship’s computer flashed up a diagram of the planet, showing Amilyn that the Northern pole was facing downwards from her current perspective. Amilyn pulled the ship around as she came within orbiting distance of the planet. Her eyes searched through the window for the bay Yngo and Girynni had mentioned. Finally, she saw it, a vast gaping mouth in the landscape that seemed to scream into the sea. Millennia ago, Yngo had told her, that bay had been home to vast forests and tall mountains, but the land had changed and now much of the continent lay under the sea.   

Amilyn adjusted the ship’s course, preparing for the descent. As the Teroch-type gunship entered the atmosphere, Amilyn transferred to the other engine and heard the rickety gears clunk into place. Though the atmospheric engine sounded sick to its stomach, it held its integrity as she soared over the ocean towards the mouth of the river. As she flew further inland, Amilyn could see a road or track leading along the crest of the southern riverbank. Green rolling hills stretched out before her to the east and to the south, but to the north craggy ridges loomed in the distance. As she flew on, the river turned northwards, the road became clearer below her, and patches of forest appeared every so often.

The rolling hills were now covered in a patchwork of farmlands, interspersed here and there by rivers and lakes. Small forests, golden with autumn leaves, nestled between the hills. The ridges to the North bent southeast, running closer to the line of the road. Every so often she caught sight of another ship zooming along in the distance. Green and gold and blue and silver spiraled up to her from the bright landscape. Eventually, Amilyn saw a town in front of her and nearby a flat expanse of grey rock that was undoubtedly a landing platform. As the Teroch-type gunship dropped lower and circled over the town, a voice crackled through the ship’s radio.

“We have you on our scopes. Please state your intent.” The voice spoke a clear, somewhat old-fashioned version of Basic. The accent sounded closed and forward, as if the person was barely opening their mouth.  

Amilyn replied in the same language. “Amilyn Holdo, former Vice Admiral of the Resistance, seeking permission to land. I am here to refuel and repair my ship on route to Ahch-To.”

The radio fizzed with static for several seconds, and then the voice said, “Very well. Please pull into landing pad one.” Amilyn pulled the ship into land over a black numeral “1” painted onto one corner of the stone landing platform. Gathering a few of her things, Amilyn disembarked. As she stepped onto the landing pad, several people of varying heights rushed out of a nearby house. A few of them pointed blasters at her and some were holding swords, but most just looked vaguely curious and confused. One tall, grave-voiced person stepped forward.

“According to communications from the Resistance,” they began, before she could announce herself.  “Vice Admiral Holdo martyred herself over a month ago. On Arda, there is no sympathy for the First Order. If you are an imposter, please know you have chosen an inconvenient disguise. Amilyn Holdo is dead.”

Amilyn rolled her eyes and put her hands up. She supposed she should’ve expected this sooner or later. “I _am_ Amilyn Holdo,” she said assertively. “I rigged the Resistance flagship _Raddus_ to hit the _Supremacy_ , and I escaped in the ship’s last escape pod. The pod carried me to Irysi, where I procured this ship.” Thinking quickly, she continued, “I bear a token of the _Raddus_ and of General Leia Organa.” The person nodded to her. Out of her pocket she pulled a small piece of metal, pulled from the _Raddus_ pod. On it was engraved Leia’s name and rank. Amilyn could hardly believe she had remembered to rip it from the sinking pod on Irysi, and now she was very grateful she had. The person who had spoken held out a hand for the strip of metal. Amilyn gave it to them with a tiny twinge of regret. That was practically the only thing of Leia’s that she had held onto, apart from that disgusting container of Hoth alcohol and a few of the Alderaan sweets.

“Wait here,” the stern person said. They disappeared into the house on the other side of the landing platform. Meanwhile, there were still several blasters pointed at her face. She wasn’t used to situations where others were armed and she was not. She missed the familiar feel of her Defender-5 blaster, but it, along with everything else she owned from Gatalenta (except for the rings on her fingers), must have gone down with the _Raddus._ She tried to calm down. She knew that piece of scrap metal would match the _Raddus_ , but would that be enough to convince everyone that she really was Amilyn Holdo, returned from the dead for…was this the third time?

“You can search me and my ship, if you want,” Amilyn told the people who remained. “I’m unarmed.” A few of the shortest people in the crowd hurried forward into the Teroch-type gunship. One stayed behind to pat her down. Once satisfied that she really was unarmed, they stepped back without a word. Amilyn lowered her hands and stood looking around awkwardly at the people in front of her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a few of them whispering together. She caught the word “General,” and pricked up her ears.

“What are you saying about the General?” Amilyn asked, almost combatively.

One of them, a very tall person with high cheekbones and long hair surveyed her carefully. “I was saying that General Organa’s token might not pass the scanner. She disappeared a week after… _your_ death.” The way they said “your” made Amilyn feel sure that they didn’t believe her story. “He doesn’t like inconsistency,” they continued, gesturing towards the house the stern person had gone into.

Amilyn raised an eyebrow at them, but said nothing. Choosing to ignore the crowd around her, she stared out at the town around them. The houses were made of wood with thatched roofs. A few of the larger buildings had gold inlays spiraling along the wooden beams, but most were modest homes and inns. There were two other ships on the landing pad. One looked to be in very poor condition indeed, the other was a Rebellion-era transport and seemed flyable. The air was cool, like the autumns in Aldera that Leia had swooned over. The trees standing here and there blazed in bright colors of orange, crimson, and gold. It was a lovely place, except for the suspicion and the blasters pointed at her head. After almost half an hour, the person who had taken her token emerged from the house. His face showed great confusion and concern, but he didn’t look angry. It was a confusing story after all, Amilyn reminded herself.

“You’ll need to explain yourself more fully,” he said to her. “The evidence is…improbable, but this checks out.” He held up the piece of metal from the _Raddus_. “Come inside.” Amilyn followed him inside the house without looking at anyone else. It was a simple guardhouse, constructed (like the rest of the town) from long wooden beams. Light filtered in through grimy windows and through holes in the thatch above. Two long tables stood in the main room. In the corner were a few old computers and a keg of ale.

The man gestured for her to take a seat at end of one of the long tables. He sat down across from her, hunched over the table looking at her. Wordlessly, he passed the metal from the _Raddus_ back to her across the table. She took it without looking down, holding his gaze. After all, she had nothing to hide. The metal plate was smooth between her fingers as she fiddled with it nervously under the table. After a minute, the man said a few words to one of the other people who’d followed them inside. They hurried to the keg in the corner and poured two tankards. The frothy beer was placed in front of each of them at the table. With another gesture, the man sitting across from her told everyone else to leave. They did so, muttering quietly. When they were alone, the man took a long drink from his tankard. Amilyn sipped hers, waiting for the questions.

“So,” the man said finally, “what happened?” Amilyn explained about the hyperspace tracking, the most desperate hour with the First Order at their heels. She explained why she’d taken command of the _Raddus_ , how the attempted mutiny played out, and how everyone else left. The scenes flashed through her mind as she recounted them. A hard lump rose in her throat when she saw Leia’s face slipping away from her in the hangar bay _,_ but she took a sip of ale and continued. Determined not to let her emotions get the better of her. She explained about the escape pod, the copper wire, and the days of floating through space. When she began to describe Irysi, the man showed more interest. She told him about Prys and about the Teroch-type gunship, and about Yngo and Girynni’s directions.

“It took me about a week to get here from Irysi,” Amilyn said, “and now here I am.”

The man was silent for a few moments, as if digesting her words. Finally, he said, “I’m not sure I would believe you except that you describe Irysi so precisely. Only someone who has truly been there could be so detailed. I’ve never seen the planet, but my grandmother described it to me many times. She travelled there regularly during the days of the Old Republic.” He looked at her thoughtfully, and then continued. “Why are you going to Ahch-To?”

“I’m looking for Leia Organa,” Amilyn said, trying not to betray her emotions. “As you know, she left the Resistance on a secret errand several weeks ago. Sometime ago, I was given word that she was on Ahch-To.” There was no need to explain that she knew this because of an eerie vision of Leia. “I assume she went to find Luke.”

The man nodded slowly. “Your story is incredible, but I believe you. We will get to work on refueling your ship. We can also install a new and faster hyperdrive, if you wish.”

“How much will that cost? I don’t have any money.”

“No matter,” he said. “The Teroch-type gunships are so old that their parts aren't worth much anymore. We’re lucky to even have some that will still fit.” Behind his business-like tone, Amilyn heard a kind offer and a vote of confidence.

“Thank you,” she said, looking him in the eye. “Thank you very much.”

He held her gaze for another moment, and then returned his attention to his tankard. “In the meantime,” he said, “you can stay in the town. There are several inns nearby. I’d recommend the Pony in the main square. Your work for the Resistance is legendary, and I would be happy to pay for your stay. My name is Brand, and I do what I can. For the Resistance, I mean.”

“Thank you,” said Amilyn. She took another sip of beer. _Waiting again_ , she thought to herself. _It feels like I’m always waiting._

Amilyn collected the rest of her things from the Teroch-type gunship and followed Brand down the narrow street of the town. Her red clothes from Prys stood out against the brown and gray of the tiny town. Brand led Amilyn around a corner and into the main square. In the center was a statue of an exceptionally beautiful person. Amilyn gazed up at it. The figure was much larger than life. Its hair fell down its back in waves, and its hand held aloft a bright white stone. The expression on the figure’s stone face held a combination of emotions. It seemed to be sad and stern from one angle, joyful and at peace from another. Something about it reminded Amilyn of Leia, and tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she gazed at the statue.

The inn on the corner of the square was taller than the other buildings. The sign hanging over the door showed a white pony rearing up on its hind legs. It looked very old. The common area and dining room were hazy with pipe-smoke, though it was not (at this hour) particularly crowded. The innkeeper, who was as short as some of those in the crowd earlier, strode toward Amilyn and Brand, wiping a glass with a rag.

“What can I do for you?” the innkeeper asked. Their voice was welcoming, but business-like.

“Hello, Harry,” said Brand to the innkeeper. “This here is Amilyn Holdo, a great leader of the Resistance. She needs a room until her ship is repaired. I’ll cover the cost.” Amilyn was a bit distracted looking around the inn, but she nodded to the innkeeper and shook hands. Brand handed over some credits to the innkeeper, and laid a hand on Amilyn’s elbow. “I’ll come and fetch you in a few days,” he said. “In the meantime, make yourself at home. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask Harry. He’ll look after you. And you’re welcome to come see the work on your ship.” Amilyn thanked Brand and shook his hand before following Harry up the stairs at the back of the bar. The innkeeper pushed open the last door on the left of the long corridor. He handed Amilyn a large pewter key and a few slips of paper for free drinks at the bar.

“The crowd’s always up for a story after the evening meal, if you’re so inclined, Vice Admiral, ma’am,” said Harry. “Off-world news comes seldom to our little town, leastways we don’t often hear of it ‘cept from Brand, and he keeps the news close, as it’s said. You’d be most welcome to join the party later on.”

“I’ll bear that in mind,” said Amilyn, smiling at him. Harry stood on a stool and unlocked the large many-paned windows that looked out over the square. Then he took his leave, promising to bring her some food once she was comfortable. Amilyn sat on the large bed, gazing out at the statue in the square. When she had looked her fill, she went into the adjoining washroom and filled the tub with warm water. Stripping of her clothes, she slipped into the bath and closed her eyes. _Waiting is better than running_ , she told herself. And she almost believed it.

When the sun began to set, Harry knocked on the door and handed her a tray of food and a mug of beer. The food was plain, but hearty, and she ate everything, savoring the taste of fresh bread and cheese after several days of space travel. She hadn’t really planned on venturing down into the bar, but once she’d eaten she felt more energetic, and there was always a chance she would learn something interesting. Amilyn dressed in clean clothes from Prys and headed downstairs, locking the door of her room with the large pewter key.

In the bar was a great assortment of people. Most were humanoid of one kind or another. There were very small people, like Harry, sitting side by side with very tall people who seemed almost to be related to the trees Amilyn had seen flying in. Their skin was like bark and their eyes glinted like amber jewels. There were also humans of every description wending their way through the crowd. Not since leaving the _Raddus_ had Amilyn been surrounded by a wider variety of people. It was refreshing. She ordered a drink at the bar and sat down in a corner, watching the crowds. The beer was good, and people seemed – generally – to be in good spirits. After a while, a few young people approached her table and asked to join. She welcomed them with a smile.

“Sorry about earlier,” said one of them, “we work on the ships, and I think we came off as a bit...confrontational when you arrived.” Sure enough, Amilyn recognized their faces. At least two of them had been pointing blasters at her a few hours ago. Her smile faltered, though she hoped they wouldn’t notice.

“Brand shared your story with us,” said another. “You’re very brave.”

“What made you decide to escape?” one of them asked curiously.

Amilyn was surprised at the question. “Wouldn’t anyone try to escape from inevitable death?” she asked.

“No,” they replied. They were quite tall with brown skin and very light gray eyes. “Only someone with hope would try to escape, and you were in a pretty hopeless situation. Everyone knows you would’ve gladly died for the cause.”

Amilyn looked into the eager, young faces around her. “I escaped for love,” she said, wondering if they would believe her.

“For love?” one of them asked incredulously. “Love of the Resistance? But the Resistance thinks you’re dead.”

“No,” said Amilyn, with a laugh. “I love the Resistance enough to die for it, but I love something else – _someone_ else – enough to _live_ for it…for her.” To Amilyn’s surprise, they all looked back at her with understanding and respect, as if they understood exactly what she meant.

Just as Amilyn was about to ask about this unexpected reaction, a loud noise shattered the chatter of the bar. On the other side of the room, Leia saw the unmistakable white armor of a stormtrooper. The figure was pointing a blaster towards Harry, the innkeeper. Before she could move, her young companions stood up, shielding her from view.

“We’ve got to get you out of here,” one of them said out of the corner of their mouth. “There’s a side door over there.” They pointed ten feet to the right. Amilyn crouched down in their midst and they moved together toward the door.

“Those stormtroopers won’t make it back to the First Order,” said one of the shortest people surrounding her. “But it’s still better that they don’t see you.” From inside the bar came the sound of another blaster going off.

“Harry won’t sell you out,” said the one with the light gray eyes, interpreting the concern that must have showed on her face. “He’s faced the First Order many times over the years. Every time they’ve tried to gain a foothold on Arda, we’ve driven them back. They keep trying, though. Every so often they send scouts, like the ones in there.” With her new friends, Amilyn retreated down the alley away from the back door. The group ducked sideways into the shadows of another tiny street. This one led off the main square, and from here they could keep an eye on the front of the inn.

“We should be safe here,” said one tall person, who seemed to be the eldest of the group. Amilyn recognized them as the one who had seemed so unconvinced of her story back on the landing platform. Sitting down on a crate on the side of the alley, Amilyn looked out at the square and at the statue shining in the lights from surrounding windows.

“It’s about time we introduced ourselves,” said the one with the gray eyes. “I’m Ingold. I work with the computers. This is Tuor,” he said, indicating the eldest of the group, “she’s Brand’s second in command. This is Elanor” He gestured to one of the shortest people. “She works security, as does her brother Elladan,” he pointed towards another very short member of the group. Amilyn recognized Elanor and Elladan as two of the people who had searched her ship earlier. “And this is Estelwen,” Ingold went on. “She’s a hyperdrive mechanic. And finally, this is Hama. They work on electric wiring.”  

“Quite the team,” Amilyn said. “What makes you so interested in me, an _ex_ -Resistance Vice Admiral?”

“Well, for one thing you were supposed to be dead and aren’t,” said Ingold, with a smirk, “which is pretty interesting in and of itself. And it’s not the first time.”  

“But we want to join the Resistance,” said Elladan, eagerly butting into the conversation. “That’s the real reason we came to talk to you.”

Amilyn looked into their hopeful faces, and for a moment she remembered herself at their age, so excited for the Rebellion against the Empire when Leia had first explained it to her, so determined to see the fight through to the end. If she had only known how elusive, that “end” would prove to be…She sighed and looked over at the lights of the square. “I wish I could tell you where to find them, but the Resistance doesn’t know I’m alive. The base on D’Qar was destroyed and I don’t know where everyone fled after Crait.”

“Oh, we have some solid leads on that,” said Tuor, with a smile. “Brand is linked into an underground intelligence network that reports directly from the Resistance. That’s how we knew General Organa had left. They can’t tell us specifically where they are, but there’s the occasional clue.” Amilyn’s stomach gave an uncomfortable squirm at the sound of Leia’s name.

“So, what do you need from me?” Amilyn asked.

“Your blessing, I guess,” said Elanor, “in the form of a clearance code. That’s the one thing the Resistance can’t give to Brand, not unless there’s some sort of crisis and they need immediate assistance. Last time that happened, the Resistance was on Crait, but we couldn’t get our team together fast enough to help them. Now the Resistance is waiting and hiding, and the codes are restricted, at least that’s what Brand says. They have to be careful about interceptions, you know.”

Amilyn grinned at them. “All right,” she said. “But you have to promise me something.” Ingold raised an eyebrow at her. “I’ll give you a code if you fix my ship. Then, you can join the Resistance, help lead the fight against the First Order. There are other young people involved; you’d like them. I certainly do. But you can _never_ tell them I’m alive. Officially, I’m still dead, got it? If I ever go back, it’ll be on my own terms.” _Or Leia’s_ , she thought to herself.

Ingold grinned back at her. “Okay.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes listening to the continued sounds of fighting from the inn. Then Amilyn asked them, “Why weren’t you more surprised when I said I survived for love? At your age, most people would scoff at such a statement.”

“I suppose it’s because of the tales we’ve been told,” said Tuor, thoughtfully. “The tales about _her_.” She gestured towards the statue in the square.

“Who is she?” Amilyn asked. Again, she found it hard to look away from the statue once she turned towards it.

“Tinúviel,” Tuor replied. “The namesake of this town, and the greatest woman to have every lived…

 

 ***

 

“A long time ago, there were people on Arda who could live forever. They lived in harmony with the Force and with nature and with other peoples. Their communities were isolated and guarded, but they were allied against evil forces. One of the leaders of these impossible people was named Thingol and he lived in a great cave in the forest of Doriath. Today the forest is gone, for long ago those lands were destroyed and now they lie under the great sea.

“Thingol’s daughter, Lúthien, was very beautiful and she was called Tinúviel, after the nightingale birds that lived in the forest. One day Tinúviel met a man, named Beren. He was an outsider, and he was _not_ an immortal being. He was a human man. Beren had been through much suffering, but he was kind and warm, and Tinúviel fell in love with him. She danced for him among the hemlocks, and they sang together.

“Thingol did not wish for them to marry, for Lúthien was not only royal, but capable of great power and magic. In addition, it seemed a poor match since Beren would die one day, while Lúthien would live on forever. Thingol sent Beren on an impossible quest: to bring a jewel from the crown of a king in Angband, who was strong with the dark side of the Force. Miraculously, Beren and Lúthien managed to steal the jewel, yet even in their moment of triumph, Beren was killed. Lúthien could not bear to be alone, and so she allowed herself to die of a broken heart.

“But that was not the end. Lúthien, who was strong with the Force, was given a choice: to spend eternity in the realm of the dead set aside for those immortal beings who died in battle and of broken hearts, or to return to Arda as a mortal woman, to live out a human lifespan with Beren at her side. She chose the latter option.

“During their second set of years on Arda, Beren and Lúthien accomplished many great deeds and their descendants still live today, though there are no immortal people left on Arda now. They led common people to victory against unconquerable foes, and they defeated the odds again and again. In the end, they both died peacefully after attaining great age. The people of Arda remember Tinúviel for the strength of her love, for her bravery, and for her spiritual turmoil, which ultimately allowed all peoples to explore the Force around them, not only those blessed – or cursed – with eternal life…”

 

 ***

 

Tuor’s voice trailed away. The night was quiet now; the fighting at the inn had stopped. The town was going to sleep. Amilyn stared out at the statue of Lúthien Tinúviel. She knew now why it reminded her of Leia. Leia, like Tinúviel, was royalty, and Amilyn was an outsider like Beren, stumbling across Leia’s path only to die over and over again. Leia had sacrificed her own spiritual health for the Rebellion, for Luke, for Ben, for Han, for the Resistance. Would Leia sacrifice it for Amilyn, too? She hoped she wouldn’t have to. Elanor handed Amilyn a handkerchief. Amilyn hadn’t noticed the tears on her cheeks. She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

“That’s a very beautiful story,” Amilyn said in a choked voice after a few minutes.

“Everyone here grows up hearing it,” said Tuor. “I think we take it for granted.”

“The choice of Tinúviel is one that no one should have to make,” said Hama, “yet it reminds us that the easy choice is not always the right one. She could’ve accepted her fate to die of a broken heart and live out eternity with her people across the Sundering Seas. But she didn’t.”

“Were there others like her?” Amilyn asked.

“Oh yes, long ago,” said Estelwen, “When there were still immortal people on this planet, there were a few who faced the same trial as Lúthien Tinúviel. Their choices shaped our world. But all of that is over now. The immortals left this world many centuries ago.”

“Where did they go?”

“Some people say that they took a ship and flew to a planet or a moon far away and hid themselves from the rest of the galaxy,” said Ingold. “Others say they became one with the Force and disappeared. Still others say they just kept flying, past the reaches of the galaxy, traveling on through the Universe…forever. Wherever they are, Tinúviel is not with them.”

“It’s said that the nightingales still sing her songs,” said Elanor, “and like her, they love the hemlocks in the forests.”

“And she’ll never truly be gone,” said Elladan, “for there she stands.” He gestured towards the statue in the square. “And here we are, telling you her story so many thousands of years later.”

Amilyn smiled. “You are wise for your age, my friends,” she said to them. “When I was young I believed in stars and dreams, but everyone thought it was a bit odd.”

Tuor smiled back at her. “Here on Arda, we believe in the power of stories. The great tales never end, for we’re still in them. Not so different from a belief in stars or in dreams.”

“The great tales never end.” Amilyn repeated the words to herself. The seven of them sat in silence for a few minutes. The statue of Tinúviel stood illuminated by the stars and by Arda’s single moon. Maybe it was her imagination, but it seemed to Amilyn that the carved stone in Tinúviel’s hand gave off its own light, as if it really were the white gem in the tale.

“We’ll take you back to your room,” said Ingold. “The inn should be safe now. Harry will have dealt with the intruders.” Sure enough, as they made their way back to the inn, Amilyn saw a small, cloaked figure hurrying along the alleyway towards them.

“Have you got her?” said a voice from under the cloak. It was Harry the innkeeper.

“Yes,” said Ingold. “I don’t think anyone saw her.”

“No,” said Harry, “no they didn’t. They’re looking for General Organa. They know she’s left the Resistance.” He turned to Amilyn and continued, “You’re very lucky, but there may be more of them nearby. You’d better take this.” He passed Amilyn a blaster from under his cloak, and Amilyn took it without thinking. Only one part of what he’d said stuck in her mind: _They’re looking for Leia._  

“Come on,” said Tuor, taking Amilyn’s hand. “We’ve got your back. We’ll stay with you at the inn tonight and keep a look out.” Harry led them all back into the inn and up the creaking staircase. Amilyn opened the door to her room and they all crowded in. Tuor, who was tallest, reached up and pulled curtains over the windows. Amilyn collapsed on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands.

“They’re not going to find her.” Elanor sat down next to her on the bed. “There’s nothing to trace you to General Organa, even if they knew _you_ were here.” Amilyn took several deep breaths and then looked into Elanor’s kind face.  

“But Leia might know _I’m_ here,” said Amilyn quietly, speaking aloud for the first time the fear that had been bubbling up within her chest since Harry told them the First Order was looking for Leia. “You never know with her, and what if she comes to find me?” Amilyn didn’t really want an answer to that question, and Elanor seemed to know that there was no answer to be given.

Instead she said, “It’s General Organa, isn’t it? The one you survived for?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’d better get the First Order out of the way before she finds her way here.” Elanor lifted the curtain of the nearest window by a fraction of an inch and peered out into the night. Amilyn saw Elladan doing the same on the other side of the room.

“There’re people down in the square,” Elladan whispered across the room.

“Who are they?” asked Hama.

“I can’t tell for sure. There isn’t enough light. The moon is covered in cloud. Hold on a moment.” For a second the room was silent; then Amilyn saw a blurred silvery ray of light slide across Elladan’s face as the moon came out from behind a cloud. Elladan gave a small gasp and hissed, “Stormtroopers! Maybe fifty of them. They’re surrounding the square.”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Estelwen muttered.

Amilyn’s heart beat faster, but somehow her fear was dissipating. The long years of battle after battle meant she was no stranger to peril. She got up from the bed and walked over to Tuor, who was standing close to Elladan as he peered out at the night.

“Are there others we can count on in the town?” Amilyn asked quietly, laying a hand on the young woman’s shoulder.  

“Yes,” said Tuor catching her eye. “Brand will have noticed, and the rest of the team that works on the ships will be with him, I’m sure of it.”

“Is there any way to reach him?”

“I have a radio, but there’s a chance that the wavelength has been compromised. I think we have to wait for him to contact us.” Even as Tuor spoke, the radio crackled into life in her pocket.

“Tuor, do you read me?” said Brand’s voice. “Is the Vice Admiral safe?”

“Yes, I copy,” Tuor said, “and yes, she’s here with us. We’re at the inn. Where are you?”

“We’re at the landing platform. Tell Vice Admiral Holdo her ship has been compromised. They were quiet about it. They landed in the hills – sometime after she arrived – and snuck down through the trees at nightfall.”

Amilyn’s heart sank at Brand’s words. The ship – _her_ ship, which Yngo and Girynni had given her with such kindness – had been defeated by the First Order. She hadn’t realized the affection she felt for the strange Teroch-type gunship. More importantlt, if Leia didn’t know that Amilyn was here, Amilyn had no way to get to Ahch-To, and if Leia _did_ know Amilyn was here, Leia would walk right into a trap. In her mind she imagined what she would do if their roles were reversed. If she knew Leia was in trouble, would she be able to keep herself away? _No. I would rush in and try to save her, even if it got both of us killed._ Amilyn had always believed in the Force, but it had always felt abstract to her. She’d never been able to tap into the web that held the fabric of the universe together. Now, she closed her eyes, trying yet again to feel – to _truly_ feel – the connection between all things that Leia and Luke had talked about with such surety. As always, the tangibility of the Force eluded her, and so with only hope and faith she reached into the darkness, willing Leia to sense her, willing Leia to _wait_. _Trust me, my love,_ Amilyn said to the image of Leia she conjured in her mind. _It’s a trap. Don’t come for me. I’ll make it through again. I promise._ And though she knew her promise was empty words, knew that there was no logical reason Leia could hear her, Amilyn still felt courage stir in her heart. This was not her darkest hour, for she’d faced worse odds and more intimidating foes, and she’d done it over and over again.

“Tell Brand to gather anyone he can and to close in behind them,” Amilyn said to Tuor. Her voice was stronger now, and it carried the authority she’d earned and learned over decades. “Have him send a team to find the First Order ships. Cut off their escape route and their communications.” Tuor relayed the orders to Brand, and he agreed.

“Vice Admiral,” Tuor said, hesitantly. “We’re hugely outnumbered. Even with the rest of Brand’s team, the odds are against us. It may be more prudent to get you out of here, let them search the town. General Organa isn’t here. They won’t have any reason to stay or to hurt us.”

“You think they need a reason to hurt you?” Amilyn replied. She put her hands on Tuor’s shoulders, noticing that – unlike most soldiers who had served under her – Tuor was tall enough to look directly into her eyes. “You’re not going to join them, are you?” She said it quietly, intimately, as though there were no one else in the room.

“Of course not.” Tuor looked taken aback by the question.

“Then they _will_ attack you, and you will have to defend yourself or die.” Amilyn heard the hardness in her own voice. She glared at her for a few seconds. Then her mood softened as she registered the fear written across Tuor’s face. She dropped her hands from Tuor’s shoulders to the young woman’s hands. “You have so much to live for: a beautiful town with beautiful stories, and a future with the Resistance.”

“Thinking they wouldn’t attack might be wishful thinking, but you could still escape!” Tuor’s hands shook slightly in Amilyn’s grasp.

For a split second, Amilyn considered it, but then she shook her head. “No,” she said, “I can’t leave now. We can win this fight. Together.” Tuor looked at her searchingly, as if trying to discern if Amilyn was lying. Amilyn could see the confidence building behind her eyes. Tuor gave her a nod and an almost imperceptible smile. Amilyn returned the smile with a squeeze of Tuor’s hands.

“What are we going to do?” Estelwen asked.

Amilyn turned to face the room, letting go of Tuor’s hands. She saw the fire of her own resolve reflected in the eyes of her comrades. “We’re going to surprise them, and we’re going to beat them at their own game.” She turned to the innkeeper. “Harry, can you get us onto the roof?”

“Of course,” he said.

“And we’ll need weapons – anything you have,” said Amilyn. Harry led them down the hall to a small closet. He pushed open the door. Inside were brooms and buckets and wires, but no weapons that Amilyn could see. Harry pushed aside a particularly fluffy feather duster to reveal a small wooden panel. He lifted the panel and keyed in a code onto a small number pad behind it. The back wall of the closet slid open, and all seven of them, plus Harry, crowded around to peer into the newly revealed chamber beyond. It was hardly bigger than the closet, yet every inch of space was covered in weapons, from bows and arrows and swords, to blasters and grenades.

“Take what you need,” said Harry, stepping back out into the corridor. Quickly, the seven of them gathered what they could carry. Amilyn wasn’t sure the swords would be much use, but to her surprise, several of the young Ardans strapped the long blades onto their belts. Amilyn took a second blaster and a few grenades.

Once they were all armed and assembled out in the corridor, Harry led the way back towards the end of the hall. Instead of turning left to go into Amilyn’s room, he turned right, opening a door to a rickety spiral staircase leading to a trapdoor. Elladan went first, followed by Amilyn. The others formed a line behind them, with Tuor bringing up the rear. Elladan pushed on the door and opened it as quietly as he could. Unlike most of the other buildings in the town, the inn’s roof was made of wooden shingles. At this angle, the peak of the roof hid them from the view of the square. Amilyn could see the outlines of the thatched buildings a story below them.

“We have to spread out around the square,” she whispered as the others emerged into the moonlight. “The thatch will muffle a lot of the sound, but be careful. Stay out of sight. I’ll stay here with Harry, and I’ll fire the first shot. After that, distract them, shoot from as many places as possible, and hopefully some of Brand’s people will engage them on the ground, too.” As Tuor made to leap down onto the nearest thatched roof, Amilyn caught her eye. “May the Force be with us,” she said. Tuor grinned at her and was gone.

Cautiously, Amilyn peered over the peak of the roof and looked down at the square. The moon still shimmered on the very top of the statue of Tinúviel, but the pavement was in near complete darkness. The stormtroopers were only visible when they moved slightly, their white armor reflecting what little light there was. Amilyn ducked back down behind the peak of the roof. She could feel goose bumps rising on her arms as the adrenaline coursed through her body. Far to the north of the town, Amilyn could see the moonlight glittering on the stony crags of the high hills. As Amilyn looked northwards, lights appeared far away in the darkness. Great fires blazed and died, sending sparks into the air. _It must be Brand’s team,_ thought Amilyn. _They’re destroying the First Order ships. It’s time!_ She nodded to Harry beside her on the roof and then crept forward once more. She looked down onto the square for a moment and aimed the blaster towards an armored figure outlined against a single lit window about thirty yards away. The quiet of the night shattered as Amilyn pulled the trigger.

The figure fell, slumped against the houses on the other side, and before the other stormtroopers realized what had happened, they were attacked from all sides. Flashes of light came from the rooftops, and on the ground, Brand’s team surged up from behind. The stormtroopers fired back, and the thatch on several roofs caught fire, illuminating the scene in dancing red light. Directly across the square, Amilyn saw Tuor firing arrows down on the stormtroopers. Her aim was excellent. In the few seconds Amilyn watched her, she saw Tuor hit two of them in the gaps between their chest pieces and their helmets.

On her left, Amilyn saw Elladan jump from a burning roof onto the pavement below, wielding a short sword in one hand and a blaster in the other. To Amilyn’s astonishment, she saw Elladan’s sword go right through the chest of a stormtrooper’s armor. _I should’ve known the swords would come in handy,_ Amilyn thought to herself, as she fired her blaster towards a group of stormtroopers now closing in on a tall man she recognized as Brand. One of the stormtroopers fell, but one pressed on toward Brand, who had drawn his sword. The third stormtrooper looked over at the inn. Amilyn ducked just in time. She felt the bolt graze her face and heard a cry of pain from Harry. She looked over to see the sleeve of his shirt smoking slightly. He reeled back from the peak of the roof.

“It’s not bad,” he gasped, holding his arm.  

“Still,” said Amilyn, “get down into the inn. See if you can gather anyone who can help us. And bind up your arm.” Harry slid himself into the trapdoor and disappeared. To her right, Amilyn saw Hama and Ingold duck sideways as bolts flew past them. The thatched roof next to her on that side was now deserted, so Amilyn swung herself off the edge of the inn’s roof, towards the straw below. Now, ten feet closer to the ground, she could see clearly that the stormtroopers were regrouping. The initial surprise of the ambush had run its course. The fires were spreading, sending more and more of the Ardan team onto the ground, where the stormtroopers were beginning to have an upper hand. Though all of her friends were still fighting, she could see several of Brand’s team lying in pools of blood on the ground, and Brand himself had disappeared. In the light from the fires, Amilyn caught Tuor’s eye. She tilted her head ever so slightly towards the ground, and Tuor nodded. There was no more to be gained by fighting from the roofs. The fires were out of control and their friends down below needed assistance.

Gripping a blaster in each hand, Amilyn sprang down from the roof into the square. To her left she saw a stormtrooper aiming at Estelwen, who was battling three with a long broadsword. Amilyn took aim at the trooper’s hand and pulled the trigger. She saw the hand – still holding the blaster – fly twenty feet and crash into a wall. The trooper reeled backwards and fell over, blood staining the white armor of their uniform. Smoke from the fires was beginning to cloud her vision. The white uniforms of the storm troopers made them easy targets even in the hazy, red light, but there were still so many of them left.

All of a sudden, Tuor was in front of her. “You’re okay!” Amilyn said in relief.

“More or less,” said Tuor, “but we’re losing ground. Do you have a plan?”

“Not exactly,” said Amilyn sending two well-aimed blasts towards two troopers who collapsed against the statue of Tinúviel. “Any word from Brand’s team? Did they destroy the ships?”

“Well it’s a bit odd, actually,” said Tuor shooting her last arrow into the neck of a stormtrooper and drawing her blaster. “They reached the First Order ships and destroyed them, but they said there’s more news. They wouldn’t tell me on the radio because they think one of the First Order commanders down here is tapped into the wavelength.”  

Amilyn didn't have a moment to spare for curiosity. “Well, at least they don’t have a way out.”

“We just have to hold on until they get back, then…” The bolt came out of nowhere. It blazed red and white as it smote into Tuor’s side. Tuor fell sideways into Amilyn, who caught her and lowered her to the ground. The smoke cleared for a moment and Amilyn saw five stormtroopers hurrying towards them. She tugged the grenade from her pocket and pulled the pin, throwing the tiny metal ball as far as she could in the direction of the stormtroopers. She barely noticed the explosion as it shifted the stones under her feet. The statue of Tinúviel shook with the blast and one of its arms crashed to the ground.

There was a moment of calm. Most of the stormtroopers were engaged in battle on the other side of the square. Amilyn knelt down by Tuor’s supine form. Her breath came in labored gasps and Amilyn could see the blood spreading from the charred wound in her right side. Tuor’s light brown eyes found Amilyn’s ice blue ones. The young woman’s mouth moved, and Amilyn bent closer to hear her.

Over the roaring flames and the cries of battle, Amilyn heard Tuor’s quiet voice. “May the Force be with you, Vice Admiral. Namárië.” Her final farewell was like a sigh. Tuor’s eyes, still filled with hope, gazed blankly at the smoky sky. Amilyn bent her head and kissed Tuor’s forehead. Her skin was still warm though the air around them was chill. Amilyn pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind Tuor’s ear. Then she lifted Tuor’s body and moved her out of the way. When this was done, Amilyn straightened up. She didn’t even bother to wipe the tears from her eyes or Tuor’s blood from her hands as she hoisted Tuor’s sword in one hand and a blaster in the other.

The world had crystallized into a single purpose. There was no strategy, no plan. She didn’t want to be Vice Admiral Holdo anymore. There was too much authority associated with that name, too much loyalty, too much sacrifice. Somehow, she had survived to this moment while so many others had fallen. She had to finish this battle for Tuor, for Leia, for herself. The remainder of Brand’s team – the ones who had destroyed the ships – arrived at last, but she barely registered their presence, even as bolts from their blasters felled stormtroopers around her. Amilyn rushed forward. Each stormtrooper that turned towards her fell to the ground with a bolt through the chest, and those that dared to approach her were hewn down by Tuor’s sword.   

The stormtroopers were falling back. The combined onslaught of Brand’s scouts, Amilyn’s anger, and the many townsfolk who had joined the battle as their homes went up in flames pushed the few remaining stormtroopers against the wall of the inn. At last, the five white-armored figures that remained dropped their blasters and put their hands up. The battle was over. The Ardans stopped fighting. Elladan and Elanor, remarkably unscathed, rushed forward and bound the hands of the stormtroopers who remained, tying them securely to the bars of the inn’s window. Harry, his arm in a sling, filled bucket after bucket of water from a spigot in the corner to douse the flames still blazing through the village.

Amilyn didn’t move. She stood staring at the five stormtroopers tied to the wall of the inn. Her anger and hatred still burned like fire as she raised the blaster to point at the figure on the far left. The armored figures struggled against their ropes, but she was through with mercy and patience and fair play. Her hand was steady, and in her mind all she could see was Tuor’s dying face…

Out of nowhere, Amilyn felt an urgent tug on her shirt. It took a huge effort to turn her face away from the stormtroopers before her. Looking down, she saw Elanor’s face, which showed fear at the look in Amilyn’s eyes, and yet a cold determination. Elanor shook her head, and as she did so, Amilyn felt a strong hand tug the blaster from her grip. It fell to the ground. Amilyn looked around. The woman on her other side had long hair, streaked with gray. One of her hands gripped Amilyn’s and the other rested lightly on Amilyn’s shoulder. Her eyes were dark and kind, glowing like jewels in the orange firelight. Their warmth pierced Amilyn’s soul, melting the ice that had lain around her heart since Tuor had fallen.

“It’s over now,” said Leia softly. Her dark eyes didn’t leave Amilyn’s face.

Amilyn couldn’t speak. Exhaustion clouded her mind and senses as the adrenaline left her body. Leia was real and solid, yet everything else seemed to be floating away into fire and smoke.

_Interlude: “The Last Goodbye,” by Billy Boyd and Howard Shore_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4j_kCQ4f2Q> _


	9. The General's Last Battle

_Wine Pairing: Vidal-Fleury Côtes du Rhône Red Blend – France_

Master Yoda was gone, and Leia sat for a long time on the stone wall in the Lanai village looking out at the sea. The suns dipped towards the horizon, fish jumped as insects buzzed over the water, and birds swooped low over the waves to scoop up fish in their beaks. The tall peak of the Temple Island glittered in the red light of the setting suns, and Leia was reminded yet again that Luke could hardly have chosen a more beautiful place to die. But now it was time for her to leave this place. The last leg of the journey would be a lonely one, but Amilyn was on the other side of it, and despite the danger that was sure to be ahead, Leia felt calm and certain. Chewy would remain on Ahch-To. He was growing old, and there really wasn’t any reason for him to go to Arda, or wherever she and Amilyn ended up. Leia didn’t want to say good-bye to him, but she also felt strangely excited at the prospect of traveling alone.

One sun had vanished and the other was only a tiny sliver of red on the horizon when Leia finally got up. She collected her things from the house she and Chewy shared and took a last look at the lanterns for Alderaan, Luke, and Han. She had maintained them through all the weeks on the island, changing the candles as needed. Leia wondered if Chewy would keep them lit. The tiny lights still held so much meaning, and yet they were also a part of a past that seemed to belong to someone else. It was time to turn towards the future. The Lanai gathered around her as she left the small stone house and began making her way down to the ship. Before climbing on board, she turned to them.

“Thank you, again,” she said to them. “You’ve been very kind.”

She turned to Chewy and embraced him. He made a soft sound of sadness, but Leia felt there was a note of hope in it, too. “May the Force be with you,” Leia said to him quietly. He put a hand on each of her shoulders and shook her slightly, as if to say the same in return. She looked at him and smiled. This was a good ending, and she knew Chewy would be safe here. “Don’t get into too much trouble,” she reminded him, with a laugh.

Chewy helped her into the ship and closed the door behind her. The stars were coming out in the darkening sky, though a pink gleam still hovered along the horizon where the suns had set into the sea. Leia primed the controls and started the atmospheric engines. The ship roared to life, sending waves skirting over the water away from the rocky shore of the island. Leia pulled away from the island and circled around it once. Below she could see Chewy and the Lanai looking up at her, illuminated by the rising moon. A great wave crashed against Luke’s outcrop, drenching the rock where he had sat. She still wore his Jedi robe, and she rubbed the rough wool between her fingers. He would always be with her.  

The ship sped over the waves and then up and up, high into the starry sky. Leia scanned through the ship’s database, searching for Arda. A blue-green globe appeared on the screen accompanied by its coordinates. Leia keyed in the numbers, and shifted the ship into hyperspeed. The journey to Arda would take a couple hours at most. Leia sat back in her chair and settled her feet onto the empty co-pilot’s seat beside her. She closed her eyes…

 

 ***

 

Arda’s single continent lay before Leia in her mind’s eye, as it had appeared on the screen of the ship. As she watched, the planet drew nearer and the continent’s shore became clearer. A bay opened before her. She saw rivers and fields and forests. In the distance, a town appeared. Even as she registered the town’s existence, she was suddenly standing in the town square, looking up at a statue. Evening light lit the sides of the buildings, and ahead she could see a steady stream of people entering and leaving an inn. The sign over the door showed a white horse.

Out of an alley, three stormtroopers appeared. The townsfolk avoided them, some hissed and cast nasty looks in their direction, but the stormtroopers ignored them and pushed through the crowd to enter the inn. Leia heard a loud bang from inside the building and several people emerged from the front door, looking frightened. Leia rushed forward to help, but it was as if she were a ghost, only able to glide slowly. She stopped. Clearly, she was meant to observe, not to interfere. She heard the creak of a door on her right, and a small group of people edged out of a side door of the inn. Through a gap between their arms, Leia caught a glimpse of lavender hair. _Amilyn!_ She reached out a hand, but her movements were slow and dreamlike, and from the inn came more blasts. A stormtrooper’s limp form was thrown against the inn’s window. Barely aware of what she was doing, Leia tried to run towards Amilyn again, but she had barely taken a step when the scene changed.

She was standing on exactly the same spot, but now it was deep night and the stars shone above. Fires engulfed the town. Buildings shuddered in the flames, and black smoke billowed from burning thatch. Around her, a battle raged. On the roofs she could see dim outlines of people, firing down at the stormtroopers. Blaster bolts and arrows sped by her head. Leia revolved slowly in place. Nearby she saw a familiar silhouette through the smoke. Amilyn was fighting alongside a tall young woman whose skill with a bow was obvious even through the haze. For a moment, the two figures were illuminated by a blaze of firelight. Then out of nowhere, a bolt blazed towards them. Leia tried to shout a warning, but she was no more than a phantom, and already the scene was dissolving, billowing away like smoke…

 

 ***

 

Leia woke with a start. The cool blue light of hyperspace flickered around her in sharp contrast to her fiery vision. It was hard to get the images out of her head. Again, and again, she saw the silhouette of Amilyn against fire and smoke. Again, and again, she watched as the bolt sped toward Amilyn and her friend. Yoda had told her to imagine Amilyn in danger, to think about what she would do. She had felt strong letting Amilyn go, trusting her completely, yet now that she saw her in true peril, Leia’s resolve waivered. She didn’t know if the vision showed the past, the present, or the future. She didn’t know whether it was real at all.

Anxiety tightened into a knot in her stomach. All she could do was wait. Dread gripped her heart in an iron fist as the ship sped onwards. What if she were too late? What if her arrival precipitated the terrible events she’d seen? Every moment of waiting was a struggle against the overwhelming urge to rush towards Amilyn to warn her, to save her. Trying to save Amilyn was exactly what Yoda had warned her against, but perhaps once she arrived on Arda there was something she could do that would at least be better than waiting.

The last hour of the journey dragged by. The desire to save Amilyn fought against Yoda’s training. Somehow, the two sides of Leia’s brain seemed to reach a stale mate of blankness. She was caught in no-man’s land, and the landscape was bleak. She took to staring at the time counter ticking away on the console. Each second seemed like an eon of time, and yet the eons passed. At last, the computer notified her that she was approaching Arda. She pulled the ship out of hyperspace and into orbit around the planet. The bay she had seen in her vision stood out clearly to her. Already that side of the planet was spinning slowly away from the sun into late afternoon.

Leia began the descent. She passed through the atmosphere into clouds far out over the ocean. Dim grayness surrounded the ship and she could see nothing at all. The computer pinged loudly. Looking over, she saw ships pop into view on the screen. Three First Order vessels were entering the atmosphere nearby. She wondered if they were the stormtroopers from her vision, or if these were reinforcements. Her ship was equipped with software that would scramble any scanners or tracking devices that could locate her position, but all the same, it was best to stay hidden. If she could follow the First Order ships without being noticed, there was a chance she’d figure out what was going on.

The image of Amilyn in battle in the town still plagued Leia’s consciousness, but the idea of having something to do helped to keep her resolve. _If I try to save her, I might lose her forever. She can handle herself._ She wasn’t sure whether she truly believed it, but it was enough for now. Darting in and out of clouds, Leia stayed a few miles behind the First Order ships. They were skirting the craggy hills far to the north of the river she’d seen in her vision. The late afternoon sun shone behind her, illuminating the trees growing thickly to the south whose autumn leaves still clung to the branches, blazing red and gold in the sunlight.

The First Order ships dropped behind a ridge in front of her. Leia landed out of sight on the near side of the ridge in a small clearing. The forest grew sparsely in this hilly country. The trees were twisted and gnarled with spindly branches, and most seemed to be some sort of pine tree with dark green needles. The boughs bent in strange shapes and the wind whistled as it passed between them. The air was chilly, and Leia clutched Luke’s Jedi cloak tightly around her as she stepped out of the ship.

The ground was hard and covered in coarse grass that crunched underfoot as Leia climbed to the top of the ridge. Near the summit was a large boulder, and Leia crouched behind it, peering down into the valley below. Craggy hills and ridges stretched on before her. In the distance, she could see ancient ruins like broken crowns dotted across the harsh landscape. Here and there pockets of woodland shone in autumn colors, but mostly the hills were gray and brown and dusty green. Between her ridge and the next, the First Order ships were grouped amongst broken trees and lichen-covered rocks. About fifty storm troopers were disembarking from the ships, and she could see three on speeders moving quickly away from the group in the direction of the town a few miles to the south of where she stood. Though barely visible from this distance, the town looked quiet and undisturbed. No flames leapt from the buildings and the air was clear of the smoke she’d seen in her vision. _The battle hasn’t happened yet_ , she thought to herself. _Those three troopers are the ones I saw entering the inn_.

Was Amilyn really in the town? The thought of being so near to her was almost strange. They’d been apart for little more than a month, yet in that time so much had changed. The urge to turn around and head to the town was almost overpowering, yet a last ounce of reason held her back. The stormtroopers couldn’t be looking for Amilyn. No one knew better than the First Order that Amilyn Holdo was a martyr of the Resistance. Leia tried to concentrate on the First Order troops in the valley. She couldn’t hear what the commanding officers down below were saying, but there didn’t seem to be much complexity to the mission. After a few minutes, the legion began to move out of the valley, marching towards the town. Only a small number remained behind to guard the ships. Evening drew in and doubt began to gnaw at Leia’s consciousness. Would it have been better to go to the town, to pull Amilyn out of the way? Waiting and watching had seemed to be a good compromise, but now Leia just felt useless and confused. Is this what Yoda would have advised?

All at once, Leia heard a noise behind her. It sounded like several people were scrambling up the ridge towards her hiding place. The moon was rising. It was almost full, and in its light, she could see the the outlines of five or six people of varying heights. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw her standing against the boulder. For a moment they just stared at one another, then one of the taller members of the group pulled out a blaster and pointed it at her.

The very short person next to them held out a hand. “Wait!” They said in a whisper.

“I’m unarmed,” said Leia, putting her hands up.  

The short person moved cautiously toward her, and Leia moved a few steps down the ridge, stopping in a patch of silvery moonlight. She could see their faces now, and as she stepped into the light, she saw their eyes open wide in surprise. The one holding the blaster looked slightly embarrassed as they lowered it.

“G…General Organa?” said the short one who had now moved another step neared to her.

“Not the General anymore,” Leia said, “but yes.”

“We weren’t expecting you,” said the one with the blaster, a slightly apologetic note in their voice.

“I wasn’t expecting to be expected,” said Leia with half a smile.

There was an awkward silence, and then one of the others muttered, “This has been a very strange day.” Leia wondered what that meant, but before she could ask, a tall person strode forward from the back of the group.  

“There’s no time to explain,” they said in a short, practical voice. “Long story short,” they continued, turning to Leia, “the First Order is looking for you. From what we found out from bugging their communicators, they’re searching every planet that’s ever had any anti-First Order tendencies and Arda’s near the top of that list. You’re their number one target. We’ve come up here to destroy their ships and cut off their communications. One of their commanders hacked our radio a few minutes ago, so we’ve lost touch with our leaders down in the town.”

The cold efficiency of this person’s demeanor reminded Leia of herself, and she smiled nostalgically. “I think I can help you with that,” she said. “I’ve been watching the guards for an hour or so, and I don’t think they’ll be hard to take down.” The idea of doing something to hinder the First Order troops, who were sure to have reached the town by now, had a marked effect on Leia’s mood. She no longer felt the urge to run towards the town. All of a sudden, for one more night, she was General Organa once more, and General Organa had always trusted Vice Admiral Holdo to get the job done.

“Let’s go,” said the short person still standing closest to Leia on the ridge. Someone handed Leia a blaster and they all peered over the top of the ridge. The three ships below them glowed dully in the moonlight. Two guards stood by each ship, wandering aimlessly. One armored figure scuffed the dusty ground with their boot, clearly bored by having to wait around while all the action took place miles away.

“Two of us should slip down the ridge to the North and circle around to the other side of the valley,” said the tall, practical person who had told Leia their plan. “Two of us should stay here, and one should move south and keep an eye on both sides.”

“I’ll go to the south,” said Leia. “I can do the most damage from there with all three ships in view.”

The tall person who had pointed the blaster at Leia’s head volunteered to go, too. “I’m Peregrin,” they said quietly to Leia. The two of them set off along the ridge, staying just out of sight of the stormtroopers below.

“Who’s the one leading your group?” Leia asked.

“Oh, that’s Finduilas. She likes to be in charge. That’s why Brand sent her on this mission.”

“She’ll go far one day,” said Leia with a smile. “She’s got a good head on her shoulders. Who’s Brand?”

“I’m not sure what his title is, to be honest,” said Peregrin. “He monitors all the ships entering and leaving the town, organizes maintenance, and keeps in touch with the Resistance. He and Tuor – she’s his second in command – are leading this little fight against the First Order.”

“A lot of excitement for a small town,” said Leia.

“Yes, well, actually that’s only part of it. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Vice Admiral Holdo is alive! She showed up out of nowhere this morning in the most ridiculous looking ship – like nothing we’d ever seen before. You know her, right?”

“Oh, yes,” said Leia. She was glad it was dark so Peregrin wouldn’t notice the grin on her face. “I know her.”

“We’re not supposed to tell the Resistance that Vice Admiral Holdo is alive,” Peregrin went on apologetically, “but I heard you retired, so…”

“Well,” said Leia vaguely, “they won’t hear about it from me. Don’t worry.”

They had reached the middle of the valley now, and through the trees they could see the three ships. Leia and Peregrin watched as two people approached the ships from each side, hardly more than shadows in the dim light of the moon. A stormtrooper on the left fell with a grunt to the ground, but the others seemed to have avoided the first onslaught. Leia watched as a stormtrooper on the right dodged out of the way of a bolt from Finduilas’s blaster. Peregrin was about to shoot through the trees at the trooper, but Leia held up a hand.

“Wait,” she said. “I want to try something.” Focusing her mind on the stormtrooper’s armor, she lifted the figure into the air and threw it against the cold metal of the ship. The stormtrooper’s limp body hit the ground with a loud thump.

“Nice trick!” said Peregrin. Leia smiled at him. If this was to be her last night as General Organa, she may as well make the most of it. Out in the clearing, Finduilas looked surprised for a moment, but then her attention was drawn away as she ducked to avoid a bolt from the blaster of one of the stormtroopers guarding the middle ship.       

“Can you do it to all of them?” Peregrin asked excited.

“It’s not as fun as it looks,” Leia said softly. She pulled out her blaster instead and stepped out of the woods, Peregrin right behind her. “I prefer to do it the old way.” She took aim at the nearest stormtrooper and he fell with a singed hole in his armor, knocking over one of his fellows, who cursed and scrambled back to his feet only to be set upon by Finduilas. The stormtroopers clearly hadn’t been expecting a three-front attack, and it didn’t take long to get them out of the way.

“We have to get inside and destroy the communicators,” said Finduilas when everyone was assembled again. “Let’s go!”

Leia followed Peregrin into the nearest ship. Most of the power was turned off, but a few buttons and screens shone brightly in the dark corridors. The two of them moved quickly, blasting anything that looked remotely like anything to do with communication. Back outside, the group surveyed the ships again.

“You need to destroy these ships,” said Leia to Finduilas. “Knocking out their radios won’t do much good in the long run.”

“The fuel cells are hard to get at,” said the shortest of the group. “But without any shields, we can probably break through. They’re hidden under there.” They pointed to the underbelly of the nearest ship.

“Show me,” said Leia.

The hatch to the fuel cells wasn’t nearly as substantial as Leia had expected. Clearly, the First Order ships relied on shields for their protection, and the metal body of the ship was little more than a decorative covering to keep oxygen contained within. Three fuel cells sat inside the hatch, linked with pipes and wires to the engines at the back of the ship.

“They’d blow up at a single shot, but so would we if we shot at them from any decent angle,” said the young mechanic beside Leia.

Leia examined the angle of the hatch and the placement of the cells, trying to memorize it. “I think I can do it,” she said. “I might need a few tries, but it’s worth it. Open the hatches on the other ships.” Finduilas looked confused, but she nodded to the others and sent them to open the hatches. “We’ll need to be at a safe distance,” Leia continued. Once the hatches were open, the six of them retreated into the trees where Leia and Peregrin had stood earlier.

Leia drew her blaster again and took a deep breath. She aimed at the ship on the left and closed her eyes. In her mind she saw the desired explosion and traced the path of the bolt in reverse all the way back into the gun in her hand. She pulled the trigger and a loud bang echoed through the hills. The bolt ricocheted off the ship towards the ridge on the southern edge of the valley. Leia tried again. This time, she let her mind go blank and allowed her arm to move almost imperceptibly to the right, pulled by the slight vibrations in the air around her. She let her body relax and pulled the trigger again.

This time, her aim was true. The sound of the blaster was followed a split second later by a gigantic **_BOOM_ **that shook leaves from the trees around them. Opening her eyes, Leia saw a fireball where the ship had been. She took aim at the second ship. It was easier this time. As the fires from the first ship flickered to nothing, the second ship erupted in flames closely followed by the third. For a few minutes, the faces of Leia’s companions were lit with flickering orange light, but then the fires died and the hills were dark but for patches of moonlight still glittering on the ground between rocks and trees. The remains of the ships were blackened shells, standing like ghostly shadows on the rough ground.

Finduilas broke the silence. “I’ll radio Brand and Tuor and tell them about the ships.”

“Don’t tell them I’m here,” said Leia sharply. “I don’t want my presence to…affect anything going on in the town. If you think the radios might be bugged…” She couldn’t interfere. Not yet. Not until she could be sure that her interference wouldn’t endanger Amilyn.

“We’re needed in the town,” said Finduilas as barely comprehensible words crackled through the radio. “We left a few speeders over there.” She gestured vaguely back towards the valley where Leia’s ship was parked. “General Organa, you can ride with Peregrin. There’s room in his speeder.” Sure enough, three small vehicles, each large enough for two people, sat between a few stunted trees on the lower part of the ridge. The others clambered into them. For a second, Leia hesitated. Amilyn was in the town, and Yoda had warned her against trying to save her.

“We need your help,” said Peregrin. Leia blinked and saw his face staring at her in the moonlight. He seemed to sense her doubt. “No one knows the First Order better than you, and if things are really bad in town, we’ll need your expertise.” Leia heard sincerity in his voice, and suddenly the choice didn’t seem too difficult. It was time for her quest to come to an end, and saving this tiny, peaceful town was a worthy conclusion to her life as General Organa.

Leia climbed into the speeder next to Peregrin. “Okay,” she said. “Let’s go!” The three vehicles jumped forward, speeding like bullets away from the disintegrating First Order ships towards the forests and farmlands below. As they burst through the first belt of trees, Leia saw fire in the distance. The town was in flames. Black smoke curled upwards, shadowing the stars. She heard a sharp exhale of breath beside her. Looking over at Peregrin, she saw his eyes fixed on the town in front of them.

“We can take them,” Leia said to him calmly. He caught her eye for a moment and Leia saw fear in his eyes. She laid a hand on his shoulder, and felt the tension in his muscles. “The Force is with us,” she said with half a smile. He nodded and Leia heard him take a deep breath. The town grew closer, and less than a minute later Peregrin pulled the speeder onto the landing platform. Finduilas and the others were already climbing out of their speeders and rushing toward the town. Leia gripped her blaster tightly as she followed Peregrin off the landing platform and into the narrow streets.  

Smoke and flames filled the air, but they pushed forward, holding their collars over their mouths. In the square, the remaining stormtroopers were still fighting against what seemed to be a combination of townsfolk and Brand’s workers. Leia took cover behind a barrel, peering around it. She took aim at a flash of white armor through the smoke and fired. The body of a stormtrooper fell into view below the smoke. There was no sign of Amilyn, but the air was so thick that Leia could barely see her companions anymore, let alone what was happening on the other side of the square. Again, in her mind she saw the bolt flying out of nowhere towards Amilyn. Was Amilyn already dead on the battlefield?

With an enormous effort, Leia forced herself to think of the battle at hand and of nothing else. She maintained her position behind the barrel, shooting at flashes of white stormtrooper armor. Finduilas’s small group seemed to make all the difference. After about ten minutes, the stormtroopers were greatly depleted, and at last the fighting seemed to dissipate completely. Leia’s eyes stung from the smoke and the heat. She wiped her face on her sleeve and strained her eyes, now searching in earnest for Amilyn, for a wisp of purple hair or the sound of her voice.  

Leia moved along the north side of the square. The statue, still mostly intact, gazed outward over the town, oblivious to the grisly scene below. There were many bodies on the ground. Mostly, they were the anonymous forms of stormtroopers, but several Ardans had fallen, too. The haze made it difficult to identify anyone, but it didn’t look like any of Leia’s companions who’d found her in the hills were among them. The body of a tall woman lay next to a wall. For one horrific moment, Leia thought it was Amilyn, but then she saw the youth in the woman’s face and her straight brown hair. It wasn’t Amilyn, but she looked familiar. _The woman in the vision._ Of course, this is whom Amilyn had fought beside in Leia’s vision. And someone had moved her body out of the way, someone who had been nearby when she fell…

Leia turned back to the square. The adrenaline of battle was wearing off. The only thought in her mind was Amilyn. And there she was. Thirty feet away, beyond the statue, Amilyn stood with her back to Leia. Her clothes and hair were singed, and she was holding a long sword at her left side. In her right hand, she held a blaster, which shook slightly as she raised it to point at the stormtroopers before her. The white-armored figures were bound in a line against the wall of the inn, and they struggled against the ropes. _No_ , Leia thought. _It can’t end like this. There’s been too much death already._ In the space of a heartbeat, she was beside Amilyn tugging the blaster out of her hand. Amilyn’s eyes were colder than Leia had ever seen them as she turned to face her. Leia heard the sword in Amilyn’s other hand fall to the ground.

“It’s over now,” said Leia gently. Something in Amilyn’s eyes shifted. Leia could feel her shaking. “You’ve done your duty, Vice Admiral.” Amilyn grasped Leia’s arms in an almost painful grip as her knees gave way and she sank to the ground. Leia knelt in front of her and took Amilyn’s face in her hands. There was a bruise blossoming on Amilyn’s right cheek and a burn on her forehead. Leia lightly touched the wounds, letting the fingers run softly over Amilyn’s skin. Amilyn closed her eyes and leaned into Leia’s chest. Leia rested her cheek on Amilyn’s head.

The town square was a mess. The statue, except for one arm, was still standing, and the inn had sustained very little damage, but most of the houses were smoldering piles of charred logs. Brand helped Leia support Amilyn through the main room of the inn, up the stairs, and into the room at the far end of the corridor before he returned to the significant labor in the street below.

“I’m all right, really,” said Amilyn weakly, sitting on the edge of the bed, and speaking for the first time.  

“You don’t have to be,” said Leia, lighting a few of the lanterns placed around the room. Though the windows were closed and the curtains pulled down, faint sounds issued from the streets below, where the townsfolk were moving the bodies of the dead, treating the injured, and dousing the flames that still burned in places. The moon had set, and the darkest hours of night had settled over the village, yet hardly anyone seemed to be sleeping. Amilyn lay back on the bed, but her eyes were open, staring at the shadows dancing across the ceiling above their heads. Leia lay down next to her, propping herself on her left shoulder, so she could see Amilyn’s face.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” said Amilyn, “not yet.” She rolled onto her right shoulder to face Leia on the bed. “I’m just so glad you’re here with me.” She reached out and placed her hand on Leia’s face, cupping her cheek in her palm. Leia pressed her lips onto Amilyn’s wrist. She tasted salt and soot on her skin.

“Do you want to sleep?” Leia asked softly.

“No,” Amilyn replied. “I’m afraid of my dreams at the moment. I don’t know what I want. I need distraction.” She rolled onto her back and put her left hand over her eyes. Leia held her other hand in both of her own, massaging tension out of the fingers. After a few minutes of silence, Amilyn said, “I think I need a bath.”

“You _are_ a bit of a mess,” said Leia frankly. Amilyn’s clothes were charred and covered with soot and blood. Her hair was tangled and a cut on her shoulder was crusted in dried blood. The bruise on her right cheek was slowly darkening. Leia let go of Amilyn’s hand and swung her legs off the bed. “Come on,” she said. “I’ll take care of you.” Leia helped Amilyn off the bed and led her into the washroom. The room was small and dark, and Leia lit two lanterns that stood on a small wooden table in the corner. Amilyn stood staring at the bathtub as Leia slowly filled it with hot water. Leia could see that her thoughts were elsewhere, wandering – perhaps – through the violence of the last few hours.

“Amilyn, look at me,” Leia said. Amilyn’s eyes gradually focused on her. “Just look at me. Don’t think about anything else.” Leia helped Amilyn out of the yellow shirt she was wearing. The fabric was soft, but it had been burned through in many places. Under the burned patches, Amilyn’s skin was red, but she had no serious burns other than the one on her forehead. Leia handed her a washcloth soaked in cold water and told her to hold it against the wound. She helped Amilyn out of her brown trousers, which Leia recognized as being one of her own emergency pairs from the _Raddus_ escape pod. They were much too short for Amilyn’s long legs.

Amilyn’s eyes followed Leia’s movements as she helped her out of her underclothes. At last Leia took Amilyn’s hand and helped her into the bathtub. Leia took off her shoes and Luke’s Jedi cloak, which she still wore over her dress. She’d brought only a few plain clothes with her to Ahch-To, and as she knelt by the side of the bathtub, she realized her clothes were hardly less grimy than Amilyn’s. Salt from the ocean around Luke’s island had settled into her skin and hair over the weeks she’d spent there, and the feel of the warm bathwater on her hands was extremely inviting. The steam seemed to carry away the memories of the battle, of the long road to this moment. Leia moved around to the end of the bathtub, kneeling with her face close to Amilyn’s on the rim of the tub.

“I love you,” Leia whispered.

“I love you, too.” The words had barely left Amilyn’s mouth when Leia leaned forward and kissed her. All the waiting and want of the past few weeks rose in Leia’s chest. She felt Amilyn leaning into the kiss with the same urgency, the same need to know that this was real. Leia broke the kiss and pulled her dress off over her head.

“May I join you?” Leia asked quietly. She didn’t want Amilyn to feel pressured.  

“I’d like you to.” Amilyn sat forward and Leia slid into the water behind her with her legs on either side of Amilyn’s body. Amilyn leaned against her and let her head fall back onto Leia’s shoulder. Leia wrapped her arms around Amilyn’s waist, pulling her closer under the water. They sat like that for several minutes in silence, feeling tension float away like the dust on their skin.   

Finally, Amilyn said, “Tell me what happened to you. Did you find Luke?”

“No,” Leia said after a moment. “Luke is gone.” That was a story for another time.

“I’m so sorry, Leia,” Amilyn said gently.  

“It’s all right; _I’m_ all right. I went to the temple island on Ahch-To…” Leia told Amilyn about the island, the Lanai, and Master Yoda. Amilyn shifted herself around in the water and leaned against the opposite end of the bathtub, watching Leia speak. Leia kept talking, sensing that Amilyn needed the story to keep her mind off of recent events. Leia talked her way through all Yoda’s lessons, through her farewell to Chewbacca and the island, right up to when she had the vision of the battle to come. Then her voice faltered.

“I saw you,” Leia said finally, reaching out and grabbing Amilyn’s hand. “I saw you in battle and I saw a bolt shoot towards you. And then I woke up. It was the most horrible thing. But when I got to Arda, I realized I had to trust that you would make it through. That’s how I ended up following the First Order ships, meeting up with Brand’s team, and then eventually making my way here.” The water was still hot, and Leia realized the bathtub must have some sort of temperature control to keep it from cooling because they’d already been sitting here long enough for the skin on her fingertips to wrinkle. She reached over and picked up the soap from the tray. It had a soft, flowery smell. Leia rubbed it onto a cloth and began to scrub the dirt and salt from her own arms, neck, and chest. She could feel Amilyn’s eyes still on her.  

“Leia,” Amilyn said quietly. Leia paused for a moment and held Amilyn’s gaze. Amilyn shifted closer to Leia’s end of the bathtub, sitting with her knees pulled against her chest. She let her hand fall to Leia’s right ankle, which lay next to her in the water. “Leia, please touch me.” Leia stared at her for a moment. The request was so tender, and yet behind the words Leia could hear Amilyn’s pain. She remembered the blank rage in Amilyn’s eyes that she’d seen for a moment when Amilyn stood in the square. It had been unnerving to see Amilyn like that, so completely – and uncharacteristically – vengeful. Now, Leia was struck with the realization that Amilyn needed a reminder of who she was, needed reassurance that the moment was over, that it didn’t define her.

“Come here,” said Leia gently. Amilyn swiveled around and leaned back into Leia’s arms. Leia moved her hands – one holding the washcloth – over Amilyn’s hands and arms. She traced the curve of Amilyn’s right shoulder to her collarbone. “You’re _everything_ to me,” Leia whispered in Amilyn’s ear. For a few more minutes, Leia moved her hands over Amilyn’s body, scrubbing at patches of soot and fluttering the gentlest of touches over the bruises and scrapes that dotted Amilyn’s body. At last Leia suggested they go to bed.

Amilyn nodded and Leia helped her climb out of the bath. Exhaustion lay heavily over them both as they dried off and pulled on robes – provided by the inn – that hung on hooks by the door. Taking her hand, Leia led Amilyn to the bed. The blankets were heavy and warm, and Leia removed her robe before climbing under them. Amilyn curled her own naked body, still flushed from the hot water, into Leia’s arms. As Leia felt sleep cloud the edges of her mind, she remembered the nights they’d shared on Alderaan, clinging to each other as doom descended. That had been the beginning. Yet _this_ moment, beyond all the years of passion and heartbreak, didn’t feel like the end. Instead, it felt like the first chapter in a new story. Leia clutched Amilyn close to her under the blankets as dreamless sleep washed over her, bringing peace at last.

 

_Interlude: “Touch Me Fall,” by The Indigo Girls_

_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqq2ofGhDTg_


	10. Of Stars and Stories

_Wine Pairing: Terrunyo Sauvignon Blanc – Chile_

Amilyn awoke to pale dawn light creeping through curtains and to warmth and contentment such as she hadn’t experienced in years. It took a moment for the events of the previous day to solidify in her mind. The exhaustion in her body told her she hadn’t been asleep very long, but now she was awake, there was so much to process. Leia’s arms were wrapped tightly around her, and for several moments, Amilyn buried herself in the softness of Leia’s skin and the scent of her body. Though sadness rose in Amilyn’s chest as she thought again of Tuor’s sacrifice, the reassurance of having Leia by her side was a tangible support that would carry Amilyn through any emotional pain. Images of the day before flickered through Amilyn’s head. She wondered how many others lay dead down in the square and where the five remaining stormtroopers had been taken. Guilt at her own loss of control stirred in Amilyn’s heart. _If it hadn’t been for Elanor, for Leia…_ Amilyn shivered slightly despite the warmth of the bed.

Leia stirred and opened her eyes. “Are you all right?” she asked quietly, moving a hand to Amilyn’s cheek.

“No,” replied Amilyn, honestly. “Not yet. But I will be.”

“I know you will,” murmured Leia, still half asleep. “You always are.” Leia turned onto her back and Amilyn laid her head on Leia’s breast, feeling sleep creep over her once more. Leia’s hand moved through her hair. Amilyn placed a soft kiss on Leia’s warm skin before sinking into a dream…

 

 ***

 

The infinity of space pressed around Amilyn’s body. It was as if she were a ship, powered by her own heartbeat to fly through nothingness. In every direction, stars glittered like gems – sapphires, rubies, diamonds – stretching on into infinity. They reminded her of the jewel in the tale of Tinúviel. Nebulae in bright colors filled huge patches of her vision and then disappeared as she sped past them, drawn on and on towards some pull of gravity that seemed greater than any other star in the galaxy. Amilyn knew the patterns of the stars, believed in their power to chart the future, but most of the suns and planets and constellations spread out around her were unfamiliar. Instead of lines and patterns and shapes, Amilyn saw only discrete points of light, floating alone through space with no effect on time or space or gravity. The laws of physics didn’t seem to apply.

Despite the apparent passive state of the spheres in this odd place, something pulled Amilyn on and on through space. Finally, through the darkness two points of light appeared; they were brighter than the distant stars. Amilyn could almost see the force of gravity radiating out towards her, as if the lights were holding out their arms in welcome. As she drew nearer, Amilyn saw that the spheres of light were unlike anything she’d ever seen. They were flat discs, and they were tiny – barely the size of the smallest asteroid she’d ever seen. Amilyn couldn’t decide if they were stars or planets. They seemed rocky, yet the light around each of them was like fire shining from some inner source, as bright as any sun. The two objects circled around one another, and Amilyn came into orbit around them. She watched as the two glowing discs charted a path like a dance around each other, occasionally brushing against each other in moments that sent crystal sparks flying in every direction.

Suddenly Amilyn was standing on one of the discs, or maybe she’d been there the whole time. There seemed to be an atmosphere around her. The air was warm. The grass beneath her feet was the brightest green color she could ever imagine. Across from her, standing within the other point of light, Amilyn was not at all surprised to see Leia. As they looked at each other, Amilyn could suddenly feel the gravity between the two discs. It pushed and pulled around her and around Leia in an eternal dance. The light surrounding her was like sensation; Amilyn could feel everything it touched. Her own heartbeat seemed to match the rhythm of the lights, and she could feel Leia’s heart beating alongside her own, a partner in the harmony of this infinite moment. They were stars, flung into space, flung into a never-ending duet of light and sound…

 

***

 

That night, the first frost of winter crystallized onto the burnt buildings of the little town. The plains looked silvery in the morning light, and the leaves that had already fallen from the trees crunched underfoot as the townsfolk hurried through the streets, clearing the burnt rubble away from the square. By the time Amilyn awoke again, her head pressed into Leia’s shoulder, the sun had burned off most of the frost, but a few crystals lingered on the windows of the inn and sparkled on the surface of Tinúviel’s statue. The curtain above the bed was only half closed, and the sun streamed into the room, illuminating Leia’s relaxed, sleeping face beside her.

Amilyn felt Leia’s slow deep breathing. She knew there would be times when the shame and sadness of the previous night rolled over her again, yet in this moment the pain was dull. The reality of Leia’s presence hit Amilyn at last. She was really here! Leia’s dark, graying hair shone in the light of the sun. Even as Amilyn watched her, Leia’s eyelids fluttered. Amilyn took her hand, stroking her thumb across Leia’s knuckles.

“Are you awake?” Amilyn asked with her mouth against Leia’s neck.

“I don’t know,” Leia replied. Her eyes were still closed, but she smiled and gripped Amilyn’s hand. “This feels like a dream.”

“I had a dream that we were stars,” Amilyn said vaguely, remembering the points of light in her dream.

“Flung out of space?”

Amilyn smiled at the familiar words. “No,” she replied dreamily, closing her eyes. “Flung _into_ space, I think.”

Leia laughed softly, pushing a faded lavender curl into place behind Amilyn’s ear. Amilyn felt Leia shift onto her left side and slide further under the warm blankets. She opened her eyes to see Leia’s face an inch from her own. Leia leaned forward and kissed her. Amilyn felt the warmth of Leia’s lips, like heat from the sun, against her mouth. She parted her lips slightly and Leia pressed forward, pushing Amilyn onto her back. Amilyn ran her fingers down Leia’s spine and heard a soft moan deep in Leia’s throat. Leia moved her right leg over Amilyn’s body. The blankets, which had been draped over Leia’s shoulders, fell in a heap over Amilyn’s legs. Amilyn looked up at Leia above her. Her skin shone in the light of the sun, and her hair – long and uncharacteristically unkempt – fell in waves around her shoulders. There were many scars across her arms and torso, relics of battles long past. Amilyn reached up and traced her fingers over them, examining the contrasting textures.

Amilyn took her time. She’d touched Leia before, but this time was different. There was no battle waiting for them around the corner, no duties that could call either of them away at a moment’s notice. Every time before, there had been a nagging fear that this was their last time together. Every time, Amilyn had tried to feel everything at once, to _do_ everything at once, just in case their time ran out. Urgency had been in the background of every kiss and every caress, even on Hoth, where everything had seemed so peaceful. There had always been a sense that it wouldn’t last. Yet somehow it had, and now here they were with all the time in the world. Everything else had run its course: their friends and family were gone, every place that had held significance for them had been destroyed, and the Resistance had moved on without them. Through all of it, Amilyn’s love for Leia persisted, and now it was all that mattered.

Leia bent down and kissed her again. She could feel the same sense of contentment reflected in the pressure of Leia’s mouth and in the light dance of Leia’s hands over her shoulders, her chest, her stomach. There was no timeline, no linear progression from moment to moment, and no goals. Leia placed kisses along Amilyn’s jaw and down her neck and back to her mouth. Amilyn’s left hand found the back of Leia’s neck, massaging small circles at the base of her skull. Her right hand continued to move gently over Leia’s body, eliciting unexpected shivers of sensation in Leia’s muscles, which vibrated briefly against Amilyn’s skin. Amilyn felt Leia’s tongue slide down her sternum and she arched her back into the contact, her heart beating faster within her chest, inches from Leia’s mouth. Amilyn moved her hands to Leia’s thighs, pulling her closer, seeking contact. She wanted to be patient, but she didn’t seem to have control over her hips anymore.

Leia raised her head and caught Amilyn’s gaze. “Wait,” she said with a slight laugh in her voice. She gripped Amilyn’s hands and placed them gently on the bed as she lifted her hips off of her. Amilyn felt her own hips rise, trying to follow Leia’s warmth. Leia repositioned herself over Amilyn, carefully placing her thigh between Amilyn’s legs and straddling her right leg. Leia moved her upper body over Amilyn’s and was still for a moment. Amilyn saw her eyes flick downwards to her mouth and felt warm breath on her lips right before Leia kissed her. The kiss was gentle, a reminder that – for once – time was on their side.

The bright sun of the autumn morning reminded Amilyn of the star discs in her dream. She had always believed in the power of stars. She’d memorized chart after chart, and always – hardly admitting it to herself – she had taken extra time to look at the convergence between herself and Leia. The stars _suggested_ the future; they didn’t _tell_. There were some mysteries that were not meant to be seen, some secrets that must remain hidden. Even in her wildest most optimistic predictions, Amilyn had never imagined this: a dawn where her time with Leia stretched on and on in front of her. Though their lives were (undoubtedly) fleeting and age had changed them both, Amilyn had never felt so certain that this was eternal. Beyond life and death and certainty, she and Leia were surrounded by a greater light of infinite sensation. Amilyn relaxed under the pressure of Leia’s body. They were stars again, pushing and pulling in an endless dance. Light and warmth and love pressed in around her shutting out the infinite darkness of space. They moved together, colliding in explosions of brightly colored sparks that danced in the dark.

 “I’m hungry,” said Amilyn, much later. The sun had fallen slightly past noon and golden autumn light was pouring in through the western windows of the room. Amilyn sprawled across the bed. She looked over at Leia standing by the window. For at least the tenth time that day, Amilyn was struck by Leia’s beauty. Something had changed about her. She remembered how old and sad Leia had looked on the _Raddus_. True, she had been recovering from the impossibility of surviving in empty space, but there had been an emotional weight on her shoulders, too. Amilyn was sure Leia had hidden it from most of the Resistance, but she’d been less guarded with her. Now however, the burden had lifted. Leia’s face was relaxed. For years, she’d been a stony pillar of efficiency and justice, but now her spirit seemed defined by compassion. Leia had wrapped herself in Luke’s Jedi cloak again, and despite its simplicity, Amilyn thought she had hardly seen anyone as regal.

Leia pushed her hair out of the way and looked over at Amilyn. “I have to wash my hair. Somehow, I missed that last night. It shouldn’t take long; then we can find something to eat.”

“I should do mine, too,” Amilyn sighed, twisting a curl between two fingers. “But I liked the purple and I don’t want the rest of it to wash out.”

“I think you’ll manage, though it will be quite a change. The last time I saw you without dyed hair was when we were nineteen on Alderaan.”

“Has it been that long?” Amilyn mused, though she knew Leia was right. She swung her legs off the bed and stretched her arms over her head. The muscles in her back were sore from the battle. She could feel Leia’s eyes watching her. She stood up and walked to the washroom. Leia joined her by the sink. There was a small mirror at Leia’s eye level. Amilyn had to crouch slightly to look into it. She hadn’t seen her own reflection in weeks, and it had been years since she had seen herself standing next to Leia. Her own ice-blue eyes stared back at her out of a face that looked different from what she remembered. Amilyn was struck, not by the strangeness of the reflection, but by its inexplicable familiarity. There was something profoundly right about seeing their two faces side by side. _That’s really me,_ Amilyn thought, _and that’s really her._

Amilyn straightened up again as Leia turned on the water and wet her long hair. They took turns with the water and a small bottle of rosemary essence – which Leia dug out of a cupboard – until Leia’s hair shone and Amilyn’s fell in smooth waves. The purple was almost gone now, leaving only the slightest hint of lilac shimmering in her silvery white hair. They dressed in what few clothes Amilyn had left from the _Raddus_ and from Irysi. After helping Leia braid her hair in a long plait down her back, Amilyn led the way downstairs to the bar. Harry the innkeeper was pouring ale for a few of the townsfolk, talking proudly of his narrow-escape the night before. The room fell silent for a moment when Amilyn and Leia entered.  

Harry hurried out from behind the bar and grasped Amilyn’s hand. “Vice Admiral, ma’am, we couldn’t have done it without you,” he said.

Amilyn smiled at him. “You’re very kind.” Leia squeezed her other hand in a reassuring way, and Amilyn wondered if she’d sensed the hesitation in her voice brought on by the grief and guilt that still lurked in the corners of her mind.

“You must be hungry!” Harry released Amilyn’s hand and hurried back behind the bar. Standing on a stool, he pulled a large round of hard cheese and a day-old loaf of bread from an upper shelf, along with several red apples. Amilyn took an apple as Harry began slicing the bread and the cheese. The fruit was sweet, and Amilyn tried to remember the last time she’d tasted something so fresh. It had been much too long. She handed Leia the apple as they took seats at the bar and watched her take a bite.  

“I think I’d almost forgotten what real food tastes like,” said Leia with her eyes closed.  

“Me too,” said Amilyn with a smile. “But I did have plenty of wine…”

Leia opened her eyes with a laugh. “I forgot that was in the pod!”

“…along with some of that disgusting sludge from Hoth.”

“Well…” Leia blushed and looked down at the apple in her hand. “It was all I had.”

“What do you mean?” Amilyn asked curiously. “Why _did_ you keep it?”

“I’m not sure. I was angry with Han when we were evacuating the base and it just…ended up in my hand.” Leia took a piece of bread from platter and ate it slowly. Amilyn took some cheese and waited for Leia to explain. Eventually, Leia continued, “I had a box of emergency things hidden in a corner. I put it in there because you were dead and I wanted to remember you. I didn’t have anything from Alderaan, and I didn’t want it to be like that with you, no matter what was happening between Han and me. When it came down to it, we were running and I could only take one thing. Han was being…well, Han…and you just popped into my head.” Leia reached out and took Amilyn’s hand and held it tightly. “I had to take it.”

“You really thought I was dead?” Amilyn asked.

Leia looked at her slowly. Amilyn could tell that she’d understood the implication of the question. Leia sighed and took a sip of the tankard of ale that Harry had set before her before speaking. “I didn’t know how to use the Force yet. I didn’t know I could. If I had any doubts…well, I thought it was just wishful thinking.” Leia paused and Amilyn squeezed her hand. “This time was different,” Leia continued after a moment, meeting Amilyn’s gaze with her dark eyes, which – Amilyn noticed – were slightly wet. “After Crait, I didn’t _think_ that you were alive; I _knew_.” Leia finished speaking and took another sip of her beer.

Amilyn was silent for a moment, watching her thumb run over the back of Leia’s hand. “I saw you, you know,” said Amilyn after few moments of silence. “I was on Irysi, a planet not too far from here, and I saw you. You were standing in the street and you looked…odd. And when you disappeared, I suddenly understood you were on Ahch-To. That’s how I ended up here. It was as close as I could get with the ship I had.”

“I wondered how you knew where to go,” Leia said with a smile. Amilyn looked up from examining their clasped hands and watched Leia’s profile as she took another bite out of the apple Amilyn had given her. She chewed slowly and then continued, “Yoda was so sure you knew where I was, and I trusted him, but I did wonder how you knew. I didn’t know what I’d said when I saw you in that vision.”

Amilyn leaned her head against Leia’s shoulder. “It’s still hard to believe we found each other, isn’t it?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” said Leia with her lips against Amilyn’s forehead. “The stars were in our favor, perhaps.” Amilyn felt tears burn behind her eyes at Leia’s words and found that she had no reply. Leia’s hand moved over her back, and Amilyn knew she understood.

Harry wandered back over to them as the group of townsfolk left. He placed a few empty tankards and a plate in a large basin of soapy water, and then sat on a stool across from Amilyn, wincing slightly as he rubbed his injured arm. The plate in front of Amilyn and Leia was mostly empty, but Harry helped himself to a slice of bread with cheese on it.

“This town hasn’t seen a battle like that in well over a century,” he sighed, shaking his head. “People are shaken up…quite right, too. We’re peaceful folk.”

“How many casualties?” Leia asked quietly.

“All told, there are seven dead, but many more are badly injured,” he said with another sigh.

“Where did you put the stormtroopers?” Leia said in a businesslike tone.  

“Not sure…don’t know about the live ones nor the dead ones. Brand saw to that.” Harry bit into an apple and leaned back in his chair. “He’s seeing to _our_ dead as well. They’ve been moved to the guard house by the landing platform.”

Amilyn’s mind – which had only vaguely followed this conversation – ground back into action. “So that’s where she is?” She asked blankly.

 Harry looked at her with kind eyes. “Yes, ma’am,” he said soberly. “Hama, too, along with three more of Brand’s people and two townsfolk who joined the fight.”

Amilyn felt Leia tighten her hold around her shoulders. She felt numb. Hama had been kind and quiet, and talented by all accounts. She’d known that small team for less than twenty-four hours, and yet they felt like family, and more than that, she felt so horribly responsible for the deaths of Hama and Tuor. She was aware – dimly – of Leia asking Harry about the group she’d met up in the hills.  

“No deaths,” said Harry, “but Finduilas is badly hurt. She took a bolt to the shoulder and lost a lot of blood before anyone got to her.” Turning to Amilyn, he said, “Estelwen and Ingold are among the injured as well, Brand told me. You can find them in the Healing House by East Gate.” Amilyn nodded distractedly and drained the last half of her tankard.

Thanking Harry, Amilyn and Leia left the inn for the sharp autumn air and bright sunlight outdoors. The blackened, roofless buildings around the square sparkled like volcanic glass in the sun, and many of the paving stones were cracked and stained with blood and soot. Amilyn could clearly see the spot where her grenade had exploded. The broken arm of Tinúviel lay on a patch of bare ground where stones had been blasted away. The whole battle had been sloppy, not up to the standards she set for herself as a leader. In her mind she saw the fires again. The smoke filled her vision, and panic rose in her chest.

“Come back to me.” Leia’s voice was as distant as the stars, and yet the command must be obeyed. “Amilyn, come back.” The day was bright again. Amilyn blinked and saw Leia in front of her. She was holding both of her hands in vice-like grips, so tight it almost hurt.

“What?” said Amilyn. She was disoriented. “Oh…I…”

“It’s okay,” said Leia steadily. “Where do you want to go? I know you want to see Tuor, but I think we should visit the wounded first, just in case…” 

“Yes,” said Amilyn, trying to pull herself together. “Of course.”

The Healing House stood in a large garden surrounded by vine-covered walls. The vines were turning red and russet brown in the autumn weather. The building was long and low with large, round windows. A dirt path led from the road up to the front of the Healing House, passing a drooping apple tree and towering oak. A small medical droid zoomed towards Amilyn and Leia as they made their way to the door, and Leia had to pull Amilyn out of its way. The doors to the Healing House were unlocked, and Amilyn and Leia entered to find themselves in a well-lit entryway where medical droids and a few Ardan workers hurried to and fro through doors leading to long corridors on either side of the room.

“Can I help you?” A medical droid stood in front of them, tilting its square head questioningly.

“We’re looking for some friends of ours and were told they were being treated here,” Amilyn said to the droid.

“Talk to her.” The droid pointed one long metal arm towards a woman in a plain grey dress entering data into a computer in the corner.

“Thank you,” Amilyn said to the droid, but it had already zoomed away towards the eastern wing of the building. Amilyn looked over at the woman in the corner. She looked tired and slightly sad. Amilyn supposed that, in such a small town, everyone must know the dead and the injured. The woman looked up as they approached and stepped out from behind the computer.

“We owe you so much,” the woman said before either of them could speak. She shook Leia’s hand and then Amilyn’s. “My name is Ioreth. I serve as a…human face in this place.” She gestured around at the droids.

Amilyn liked the idea of a humanoid presence amongst all the medical droids. Some droids had a sort of humanity about them, but Amilyn had found that few _medical_ droids had a sense of bedside manner. They were only focused on the facts and figures of the bodies under their care. Despite her own distraction, Amilyn smiled at Ioreth.

Ioreth continued, “Who are you looking for?”

“Finduilas, and…” Leia paused and looked at Amilyn.

“Estelwen and Ingold,” Amilyn said. Ioreth’s face fell at Ingold’s name and Amilyn’s heart beat faster.

“Ingold sustained extreme burns,” Ioreth explained.  “I’ll take you to him first. The other two are more than likely to make a full recovery, but Ingold…well, you’ll see.” Ioreth led Amilyn and Leia through the doors to the right, down the eastern corridor of the Healing House. Most of the rooms on either side of the hall were occupied. Amilyn glimpsed bacta tanks and other medical equipment as they passed. Droids darted around them, intent on their own business, and one or two humanoid workers brushed by them, exchanging drawn smiles with Ioreth.

Half way down the corridor, Ioreth beckoned them through a door on the left. In front of the large round window, Ingold was suspended in a bacta tank surrounded by medical droids. Amilyn approached the tank slowly, gripping Leia’s hand. The readings on the computer in front of the tank showed that Ingold was unconscious. His face was relaxed but nearly unrecognizable; the skin was charred almost to the bone in places. His light grey eyes were hidden behind blistered eyelids, and Amilyn thought privately that it was unlikely those eyes would open again. Amilyn heard Leia exhale beside her and felt Leia move her arm around her waist, holding her close. The skin on Ingold’s legs and left hand was still undamaged, and Amilyn tried to focus on that. His brown skin was wrinkled from the liquid in the tank, but it was comforting to see that at least some parts of his body had escaped the fire.

“Surgeries and bacta tanks have healed worse than this, of course,” Ioreth said quietly after a few moments passed in silence. “But his burns are uncommonly deep. Still, we needn’t despair. He’s alive, and the people of this town tend to survive against all odds.”

“Tinúviel?” Amilyn said the name almost to herself. Leia looked confused, but Ioreth smiled.

“Yes, I think so,” she said, looking at Amilyn with kind eyes. “Who told you the story?”

“Tuor,” said Amilyn quietly, looking back at Ingold’s mutilated face. “Ingold, Tuor, and several others saved me from the stormtroopers at the inn. I asked about the statue and Tuor told me the story. It’s a very beautiful tale.”

“What a loss she is,” said Ioreth with a sigh. Amilyn nodded silently, not entirely sure if Ioreth meant Tuor or Tinúviel. She supposed it didn’t matter. Tears burned behind her eyes again. The three of them stood in silence for a few more moments, looking at Ingold’s unconscious, floating figure. Several medical droids interrupted the silence, zooming in to remove Ingold from the tank for another hour of surgery.

“Let’s go see the others,” Amilyn said to Ioreth, tearing her eyes away from Ingold’s face for the last time. Leia tightened her hold on Amilyn’s waist as they left the room.

“Finduilas and Estelwen are in here,” Ioreth said, gesturing through the doorway to a large room at the end of the eastern corridor. Amilyn felt Leia’s body tense next to her. “They’re both making good recoveries, and Finduilas was awake earlier,” Ioreth continued. Her tone was calm, but Amilyn still felt anxious.  

“Harry said she took a bolt to the shoulder?” Leia asked.

“Yes,” Ioreth replied, “and she has some bad sword wounds, too. That’s why she lost so much blood. One of the stormtroopers acquired a sword.”

Estelwen was lying in a bed near one of the three large round windows looking out onto the garden. This room was situated right at the end of the corridor with windows facing south, west, and north. The afternoon sun shone in, spreading golden autumn light across the beds. Estelwen was sitting up. She looked tired, but she was eating something from a tray, and Amilyn was immediately comforted to see her conscious. In the bed next to Estelwen’s was another young person, fast asleep with a bandaged arm resting on top of the blankets. This, Amilyn thought, must be Finduilas. The other beds were empty; it seemed that most casualties of the battle hadn’t yet reached this stage of recovery. Amilyn hurried to Estelwen’s side. The young woman smiled at her as she approached and Amilyn took her hand.

“What happened?” Amilyn asked.

“I was knocked out.” Estelwen gestured to the bandage around her head. “It’s a concussion. My vision is still a bit off, but otherwise, I’m all right.” She seemed to be in good spirits, but her face fell. “Ioreth told me about Tuor and Hama. I wish I could’ve saved them.”

“Me too,” Amilyn said, squeezing her hand. “But there wasn’t anything more you could’ve done.”

Amilyn looked over at Leia, who had approached Finduilas’s bed and sat down on the corner. She watched as Leia gently touched Finduilas’s bandaged hand. Her mind flitted from Leia, to the _Raddus_ , to her years with the Rebellion. All those years of saving people, of saving herself: it was too much. This was the last time.

“Vice Admiral?” Amilyn pulled her mind back to the present, to Estelwen’s tired, but hopeful, eyes.

“Sorry…yes?”

“I was saying, I still want to join the Resistance,” Estelwen said, with surety.

Amilyn looked into her eager face. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Because this is what it’s like. All the time. Sacrifice and failure. Grief and victory…they go hand in hand.”

“I know.” Estelwen took Amilyn’s other hand, too. “But after this, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do my part to fight the First Order.”

Amilyn knew there was only one answer she could give. “Okay,” she said, with another squeeze of Estelwen’s hands. “We’ll give Brand the codes. I promise.”

“Thank you.” Estelwen settled back against her pillows and took another bite of food. “Are you going back?” she asked after a moment.  

“To the Resistance?”

Estelwen nodded.

“No,” Amilyn said with a smile, and another glance over at Leia. “My time is over. We – Leia and I – are moving on. It’s your time now.”

“You’re very lucky, you know,” said Estelwen, very quietly so that only Amilyn could hear. “All the stories I grew up hearing…well, it didn’t turn out well for everyone. There was always someone left behind. But you’ve both made it to the end, together.”

“We lost a lot of people along the way, but you’re right,” Amilyn said. The odds of her and Leia making it to this point had been incredibly low, and yet here they were. She embraced Estelwen, careful of her bandaged skull. “May the Force be with you,” she whispered in the young woman’s ear. She straightened up from Estelwen’s bed and walked over to Leia.

Leia looked up from Finduilas’s bed as Amilyn approached. “They were very brave,” she said quietly.

“Yes,” Amilyn agreed. “I’ll have to tell you the story they told me some time.”

Leia nodded and sighed, looking back at Finduilas’s face. Amilyn watched as she leaned forward and kissed Finduilas’s forehead. Then Leia straightened up and took Amilyn’s hand. “It’s time we moved on,” she said, with a final glance at the two beds. Amilyn noticed that Estelwen had drifted off to sleep.

“We have to give Brand a Resistance clearance code,” Amilyn said as they left the room. Ioreth closed the door behind them and led the way back up the corridor.  

Leia looked surprised. “Why?”

“Well, I promised,” Amilyn said. “They all want to join the Resistance, and I couldn’t say no.”

“Do they know what they’re getting into?”

“Of course, they don’t, but neither did we. Well, at least _I_ didn’t.”

Leia smiled and nodded. “I’ll give Brand a code and a location. Should we send them with a message?”

“What do you mean?”

“I was thinking something along the lines of ‘yes, we’re both alive; no, don’t come looking for us.” They’d reached the foyer of the Healing House, where they paused and said goodbye to Ioreth, who waved away their thanks and returned to her work.

“Couldn’t you just let them know using the Force?” Amilyn asked as they walked down the path to the street.

Leia shrugged. “I’d rather they didn’t know about my training. They might get…ideas of …jobs I could do.” Her tone was casual, but Amilyn understood the darker meaning behind her words. Even _she_ had wondered if Leia’s power meant she could be the one to defeat Kylo Ren, but that was an unpleasant thought, and Amilyn knew Leia would never want that fate.

“Maybe a hologram?” Amilyn suggested.

“Yes, that would be fine. We can send it with the Ardans.”

They walked in silence back to the square, each lost in her own thoughts. Amilyn felt stronger now. Seeing Estelwen alive and hopeful had helped to quell her own guilt. A crisp breeze blew leaves around their ankles as they entered the square. The afternoon light shone upon the gem in the remaining hand of Tinúviel. It was hard to believe she’d arrived here only yesterday. So much had changed over the past two days. Somehow, she felt she’d always known these people and this town. _They would’ve fought anyway_. The thought floated unbidden through Amilyn’s mind. Whatever Tuor had said before the battle about waiting, about escape, Amilyn knew the battle would’ve happened whether she was here or not.

“There wasn’t anything more you could’ve done,” Leia said, echoing the thoughts in Amilyn’s own head, affirming the ideas that were only just taking shape in her own mind.

“I know,” said Amilyn softly. “It might take some time for me to believe it, but I _do_ know.”

“They would never step aside for the First Order.”

“No,” Amilyn agreed. “They wouldn’t.”

“Are you ready to see them?” Leia stopped at the entrance to another street, one that led out towards the guardhouse by the landing pad on the edge of town.

Amilyn stopped, too, and hesitated for a moment. “Yes,” she said at last. “Yes, I want to see them. Of course, I do.”

“I’ve been to too many funerals,” Leia observed as they walked on.

“Far too many,” Amilyn agreed.

Brand was standing near the door to the guardhouse smoking a long, wooden pipe. As Amilyn and Leia approached, he sent a smoke ring flying over their heads to dance among the clouds now floating in from the west. He looked sad, Amilyn thought, but far from broken. The doors to the guardhouse were open and Amilyn could see a few people inside, grouped around the bodies of the dead, which lay – surrounded by flowers – in a row on the ground under the windows on the north side of the room. Amilyn caught sight of Elanor placing a few more blossoms in a corner before she fixed her attention on Brand.

“Brand,” she began, “I want to thank you…”

He cut her off with a wave of his pipe. “It’s us that should be thanking you, Vice Admiral. Nothing like the experience you two bring. I’m just sorry we couldn’t save your ship.” He gestured towards the wreck of the Teroch-type gunship, which sat looking dejected and broken next to a modern Resistance ship that must be Leia’s. Despite her distracted mind, Amilyn deduced that Brand’s team must have moved Leia’s ship out of the hills and brought it here. Brand sent another smoke ring dancing onto the breeze, and the three of them watched as it disappeared over the ridges to the north.

“We lost good people yesterday,” Brand said soberly after a moment. He stared off towards the horizon, lost in thought or memory.  

Amilyn laid a hand on his shoulder as she and Leia passed into the guardhouse. There were several groups of people gathered in clusters around the large room. They were talking quietly. A few people wept; some gazed blankly into space. Elanor and Elladan approached Amilyn and Leia, sidestepping benches that had been moved haphazardly to accommodate the dead lying along the northern wall. Silently, Elanor took Amilyn’s hand and led her towards the bodies.

Tuor and Hama were lying next to each other on the left end of the row. A window on the west wall of the guardhouse looked out towards the landing platform, and the afternoon sun sent long beams of golden light across the seven bodies. As soon as Amilyn’s eyes found Tuor’s body, she couldn’t look at anything else. She walked forward as though in a trance, unaware of everyone else in the room. The strength went out of her legs as she reached Tuor’s side, and she was dimly aware of Leia’s hand on her arm, steadying her as she knelt on the hard, stone floor. From Leia, Amilyn had learned to cope with great loss, for who could ever lose as much as the General? Yet Tuor’s death shook her more than any other she had witnessed (and there had been too many to count); yet she had to face it. She took a deep, shaky breath.

“She told me the story of Tinúviel to show that she understood me,” Amilyn said, taking Leia’s hand without moving her eyes from Tuor’s lifeless face. “I told them that I survived for love, for love of _you_ , Leia, and they understood because of that tale. Tuor really believed in its power; they all did. It’s just a story, but it felt like…so much more. She wanted me to escape, but I couldn’t. Their courage and purpose were too great.”

“She sounds like another young woman I knew,” Leia said quietly.

“Who?”

“You.”

“Me?” Amilyn looked at Leia in surprise. “But I never cared about history or stories. I only cared about the future.”

“Yes,” Leia said. “You care about star charts and the constellations of distant planets. You see the meaning in things that others find trivial. I always admired you for that. Tuor believed in stories; the whole town believes in Tinúviel, it seems.” Leia laid a hand against Amilyn’s cheek. “That’s very you.”  

Amilyn didn’t know what to say. She turned back to Tuor’s face, and suddenly a few words of what Tuor had said the night before came back to her: _Here on Arda, we believe in the power of stories. The great tales never end, for we’re still in them. Not so different from a belief in stars or in dreams._ In the haste of the battle and of finding Leia again, Amilyn had forgotten those words. At the time, they had made her feel at home on this alien world, and now they formed a bond between her and Tuor, between her and Tinúviel.

“She told me that the great tales never end,” Amilyn said to Leia.

“What does that mean?” Leia asked.

Before Amilyn could answer, Elanor spoke. “It means the stories just go on and on, though the characters change,” she said. Amilyn and Leia looked up at her, standing on the other side of Tuor’s body. Elanor bent to lay another flower between Tuor and Hama. “The story of Tinúviel is from thousands and thousands of years ago,” she continued, sitting down on a bench nearby. “The story never really ended. The descendants of Tinúviel went on to save the world, and threads and relics of the old legend survive because people still tell the story to one another. Tuor and Hama were part of that tale, and now,” Elanor moved her arms in a sweeping gesture that encompassed the whole room, “you’re part of it, too.”  

Amilyn and Leia left the guardhouse a little while later. Amilyn felt calmer, and now all she wanted was to be alone with Leia again, to start the next chapter of their life together. Brand looked around as they emerged into the late afternoon sun. His eyes were red, and Amilyn noticed tear tracks in the dirt on his face. Tuor had been his second in command, someone who had shared his passion and skill for keeping the First Order out of the town of Tinúviel and off of Arda.

“I promised Estelwen we would give you something,” Amilyn said, approaching Brand. “Your team requested a clearance code to join the Resistance, and we – well, Leia – can provide that. We’d also like to send a hologram with any who choose to go, mostly to tell them that we won’t be returning to the Resistance.”

Despite the grief etched in the lines on his face, Brand smiled. “You know how many times they’ve asked me to try to get a code out of the reports I receive? They’ve all wanted to join up for years. Of course, I’ll have to keep a few people around here just in case, but I don’t reckon the First Order will venture back here anytime soon.”

“No,” Leia agreed. “They didn’t find what they were looking for, and I doubt any word will make it back to their fleet. What did you do with the remaining stormtroopers?”

“They’re being transferred to the city of the King, far to the south. There, they will stand trial and be given the chance to give up their allegiance to the First Order. Chances are, they were brainwashed from the time they were children. They have no real loyalty to the First Order. We can offer them protection from retribution if they’re willing to serve the King.”

The thirst for revenge churned again in Amilyn’s stomach. “That’s a kind fate for such cruelty,” she said coldly.

Brand looked at her carefully. His eyes were stern and kind. “The people in those uniforms have been treated like machines, no better than the separatist droids of the Clone Wars. It’s the only life they’ve ever known, and they deserve to be treated as humans for once in their lives. One way or another, they will never serve the First Order again, and that will be a victory.” Amilyn’s mood softened at his words. She thought of Finn, far away with the Resistance. He, like all the other stormtroopers, had been corralled into a life of violence through no fault of his own.

“You’re right,” she said. “I just…”

“I know,” Brand said, laying a reassuring hand on her arm. “I hate them, too.”

Evening was drawing in as Leia and Amilyn made their way back to Harry’s inn. The sky was streaked with orange and pink, and the red orb of Arda’s single sun lit the buildings around them in a fiery glow that reminded Amilyn too much of last night’s battle. The square was mostly in shadow as they rounded the last corner, but the top half of the statue of Tinúviel still shone in the light of the setting sun.

“She gave up her immortality for love,” Amilyn said, pausing under the statue. Leia stopped, too, and looked up at the stone face above them. “I’ll tell you the full tale one day,” Amilyn went on, “But you should know, she reminds me of you.”

“I’ll remember that,” Leia said, with a soft smile.

Amilyn sighed and turned towards the inn. Inside, Harry would be waiting, no doubt with another tray of fresh food, and then tomorrow they would embark on the final stage of the journey. Amilyn had loved Leia for almost her entire life, yet they’d never had a home together, never had a space that was collectively _theirs_. The closest they’d come were Leia’s quarters on Hoth, and later on D’Qar, but that had been in the midst of war. Thinking of creating a home with Leia, Amilyn experienced a blinding moment of elation. She paused again near the door to the inn and pulled Leia into her arms. A sliver of light from the moon shone between buildings and illuminated the silver in Leia’s hair and the silvery white curls around Amilyn’s own face. Their lips met, and for a moment they were stars again, dancing in the dark.  

_Interlude: “Sea of Love” by Cat Power_

_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Id8DIrhWVs_


	11. The Purple House

_Wine Pairing: Markovitis Xinomavro Naoussa – Greece_

The frost-covered grass crunched beneath their feet as Leia and Amilyn made their way to the landing platform the next morning. Brand strode in front of them, and Leia could see the data card with their hologram sticking out of the back pocket of his trousers. Despite all the lessons from Yoda, and all that she and Amilyn had discussed, there was still a tiny trace of guilt deep in her stomach. Making the hologram, telling the Resistance that she would not be returning, felt like the final step in the long journey away from her son. She acknowledged the regret and tried to feel the space it took up within herself. That, she felt, was all that could be done. _I did my best._ She had already said it to herself a thousand times, and she knew this time would not be the last, but just hearing the words – even inside her own head – was a comfort. Leia closed her eyes for a moment and let the regret flow away from her. She felt lighter as she turned her attention to Amilyn and Brand.

“Leia and I will go to Irysi,” Amilyn was saying to Brand. “I have the coordinates; it won’t be in the Resistance ship’s computer. The Irysians have been isolated for a long time; I can’t imagine the First Order will find us.”

“I’ll make sure my team keeps the hologram safe until they find the Resistance,” Brand said. Turning to Leia, he continued, “and thank you for the clearance code, General Organa. That means more to them – to us – than I can say.”

Leia smiled at him. “It was my pleasure, Brand.” She shook his hand and tried to put as much sincerity as she could into the touch. “May the Force be with you, my friend.”

Leia climbed the steps into the ship while Amilyn said a final good-bye to Brand and to the town. She started the ship’s engines and checked the controls. Lights blinked into life across the console. Over all the noise she could hear the sound of dry leaves speeding across the landing platform as the engines roared to life. Leia heard Amilyn climbing the steps into the ship as she made final preparations. She sensed Amilyn in the doorway behind her. Her presence felt like a warm breeze.

"You want to see something?" Leia asked, without looking up from the console. 

"Of course." Amilyn moved behind her and placed a soft hand on her shoulder.

Leia smiled and pressed a small blue button on the console. Suddenly, suspended in the air around them, was every Resistance ship, past and present. Leia heard Amilyn gasp. The lost ships shone dully red, and Leia looked with a pang at the holographic  _Raddus_. The current, usable vessels shone in green. In the center was a model of her own ship, the small freighter that she and Chewy had chosen all those weeks ago. 

"This is my last official act as General Leia Organa," she said with her eyes on the green model of her ship. Leia keyed in her own access code and entered a few commands. With a final tap on the command button, the ghostly ship vanished. "According to the Resistance, this ship no longer exists, it's no longer affiliated," she said quietly. She turned to look up at Amilyn's face. "We've retired." 

“Well, _you’ve_ retired. I’m still officially dead, at least until our hologram reaches the Resistance.” Amilyn paused and Leia saw her eyes fill with tears. “I didn't think we’d ever make it this far. All those times…” Her voice quivered.

“I know.” Leia stood and wiped a tear from Amilyn’s cheek. “Time for those coordinates.” She gestured to the console. Amilyn sighed and shook her head once as if to clear it. Leia watched as she bent over the console and entered the numbers into the computer. The map in the corner zoomed into the spot, showing nothing but empty space. Amilyn had been right; the Resistance had no knowledge of Irysi.

“It’s ready,” said Amilyn, turning back to face Leia as the ship whirred. “Do you want me to drive?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Leia with a laugh. “They kept me away from the pilot’s chair for far too long.” She sat down in the chair next to Amilyn. “You can help if you like,” she added.

“Your Highness…” Amilyn smiled, sat down, and swung her long legs up onto the edge of the console in front of Leia. “I’d like nothing more.”

Leia paused in the middle of priming the hyperdrive and placed her hand on Amilyn’s ankle. Her skin was still cool from the autumn breeze outside. Leia allowed her eyes to wander up Amilyn’s leg to her torso and finally to her eyes. The expression on Amilyn’s face was the same as it had been that day when she’d returned to Hoth all those years ago, full of mischief and joy. Leia slowly moved her hand up over Amilyn’s calf. She was barely touching her skin, but Amilyn shivered. Leia’s eyes didn’t leave Amilyn’s, but Amilyn dropped her gaze to Leia’s hand hovering at the hem of her skirt. Leia slid her hand further up Amilyn’s leg and applied gentle pressure to the sensitive skin behind her knee. Leia paused there and Amilyn’s eyes found hers again. She could feel the rapid beat of Amilyn’s pulse, and she watched her breast rise and fall as her breathing increased.

In one sudden motion, Leia slid her arm under both of Amilyn’s legs and lifted them off the console and back onto the floor. Before Amilyn could utter any sound of surprise, Leia leaned forward and kissed her. Their chairs were close together – close enough to allow her to press Amilyn into the back of her chair. She felt rather than heard a moan of pleasure from Amilyn’s throat. After a minute, she tugged gently on Amilyn’s lower lip with her teeth and pulled away.

“Shall we get going?” Leia asked, turning back to the console. Her blood was still singing and she could feel warmth in her cheeks. Next to her, she could hear Amilyn breathing heavily.

“Yes,” said Amilyn breathlessly. Leia’s skin tingled as Amilyn ran one finger along her hairline to tuck a strand of hair behind her left ear. “Let’s go.” Leia smiled as Amilyn swiveled her chair to face the console. They pulled off the landing platform and sped upwards. Leia took Amilyn’s hand. They circled over the town and for a moment the stone in the hand of Tinúviel seemed to send a glittering flash of light towards them, like a last blessing upon their final quest.

“How long will it take to get to Irysi?” Amilyn asked as they sped away from the blue-green globe of Arda into empty space.  

“I’m not going to push it as fast as we could go; there’s no rush, and I don’t want to burn out the engine arriving on a planet where there’s barely even a fuel source,” Leia said, glancing at the monitor where the coordinates of Irysi stood out in bold green letters. “It should take us a few hours once we’re in hyperspace,”  

Amilyn laughed. “A few hours? Seriously? It took _days_ in that Old Republic rust bucket I had on the way here, and that was with everything running at full capacity.”

“What was that thing?”

“A Teroch-type gunship with a…sub-par hyperdrive, and possibly the slowest ship I’ve ever flown. Still, it got me to Arda, and I was proud of the work I did on it. It could barely fly when I first encountered it.”

“It looked very odd. Is that how you found it, or did you add your own touch?” Leia asked with a smirk.

“No, I was too busy thinking about finding you to consider adding my own flair,” Amilyn replied seriously. “That’s just what Teroch-type gunships are like, I guess. What a shape!”

The stars stretched and blurred as Leia pushed the hyperspace lever into place. Blue light surrounded them and the whirring atmospheric engines ceased to roar as the hyperdrive took over. It was much quieter now. Leia sat back in her seat and turned to face Amilyn. The light outside the windows reflected off Amilyn’s hair, turning it from silver to glittering blue, the color it had been during their years on Hoth. Amilyn had leaned forward in her seat and was bent over the map in the corner, which now showed the empty space where Irysi lay and its surrounding solar system. Leia was sure Amilyn was coming up with a star chart for the forgotten, isolated planet. Leia leaned close to her over the hologram and ran a hand over Amilyn’s silvery curls.

“You’re so beautiful,” Leia said, running her hand down to the small of Amilyn’s back. Amilyn looked around at Leia, stood up from her chair, and moved to stand in front of her.

“My Princess,” Amilyn said quietly, cupping Leia’s right cheek in her hand. Leia leaned into the touch. She wrapped her arms around Amilyn’s waist and closed her eyes, leaning into Amilyn and breathing in the scent of her body as Amilyn ran her long fingers through Leia’s hair.

“You said I could endure more losses,” said Leia, her voice muffled slightly in the fabric of Amilyn’s dress, “and you were right. Luke sacrificed himself for the Resistance, and it broke my heart again.” Leia felt a lump rise in her throat. She took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and went on, “and I endured it, and I saw the beauty of his passing into the Force.” She sat back in her chair with her hands resting on Amilyn’s hips. “Feeling him die made me realize that you were alive, but if you had truly died, I don’t think I could’ve endured the pain of it.”

“Of course, you would have,” Amilyn replied with a confident smile – the same one she’d worn during their last moments together on the _Raddus_. Her eyes were kind, if a little sad. “You would’ve led the Resistance forward in my name, and you would’ve done it with brilliance and resilience, as you always have.” Amilyn held Leia’s face between her palms. “But _I_ could never have crashed that ship without at least trying to save myself, because even if you could’ve gone on without me, I knew you shouldn’t have to.” Amilyn looked out of the window at the blue light of hyperspace flying past them and continued, “If there is an afterlife, I couldn’t have gone through all eternity knowing that I purposely broke your heart.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a plan to survive?” Leia asked, using Amilyn’s arms to pull herself to her feet. Amilyn stepped down from the raised dais that held the console so that they were the same height.  

“I would’ve told you; _of course,_ I would have. But I didn’t have a plan, Leia,” Amilyn said, squeezing Leia’s shoulders. Her eyes showed concern. “Not until I saw the First Order start firing on the transports. I had my final move; I had to destroy Snoke’s ship, but realized I had to try to survive. And then I remembered the pod.”

“I’m glad there was a way out.” Leia couldn’t bring herself to think of what would have happened if she had reassigned the pod to one of the transports. _But I could never have done it_ , she thought, _not with her staying behind._

“And now we’re both here.” Amilyn’s voice was full of emotion. “You found me.”

“We found each other.” Leia leaned forward and kissed her. The kiss was gentle at first, and Leia tried to put all the feelings she couldn’t express in words into the movement of her lips over Amilyn’s mouth. A lump rose again in Leia’s throat. It was as if all the emotions – fear and loss and love and joy – that had led her back to Amilyn’s arms were bubbling up inside her. She felt tears on her cheeks, but she wasn’t sure if they were hers or Amilyn’s. She tasted salt on her own lips as she pulled away to look into Amilyn’s eyes, which – like her own – were wet. Amilyn smiled at her – one of her radiant smiles that glittered in the light of hyperspace.  Leia smiled back, wiping her eyes on her sleeve as she stepped down to the floor of the control deck.

“Since we have some time,” Leia said looking up at Amilyn again and gesturing towards the sparse living quarters, “shall we?”

Amilyn raised an eyebrow at her, and Leia noticed a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Leia blushed and slipped her right arm around Amilyn’s waist, leading her towards the bed at the back of the ship…

 

 ***

 

The sun known as Caldamea beat down on the purple stones of Prys and glittered on the turquoise sea. Fish jumped from the waves to snatch large, shining beetles out of the sky, and light-footed animals moved over the plains of rysh searching for insects caught in the gooey matter. The doors of the long-hidden hangar bay under the city stood wide open facing north as a warm breeze blew in off the plains. The salty-sweet scent of the Irysian Sea floated through the doors, and Yngo inhaled deeply as they entered the large, empty chamber. It would be another glorious day, and today – Yngo hoped – would bring more tidings than just the promise of good fishing.

Three days after the departure of Amilyn Holdo, Girynni had departed for the old interplanetary docks of Caldamea one thousand miles to the north with two young mechanics and several sailors. The Irysian boats were swift, and if all had gone as planned, Girynni would return today with a report on what sort of ships remained in Caldamea and whether or not any of them were salvageable. Yngo’s communicator buzzed in their pocket and they pulled it out to read the message, which – as Yngo had expected – was from Girynni:

 

LEAVING CALDAMEA NOW WITH GOOD NEWS! I’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING WHEN I SEE YOU – PROBABLY IN ABOUT THREE HOURS. I MISS YOU, MY LOVE.

           

Yngo sighed and typed a reply. Their heart beat faster at the thought of seeing Girynni again. It wasn’t natural to spend this much time apart, not for Irysians. As they had many times over the past month, Yngo marveled at Amilyn Holdo’s remarkable poise so far away from the one she loved. How did she manage it? They climbed the steps back up to the streets of Prys and made their way back along the winding alleyways to the small house in the northwest corner that gazed out over the water. The house felt odd without Girynni sitting at the old computer or standing at the table with books and maps spread over every available surface. The empty rooms longed to be filled with conversation and laughter.

Yngo started a fire in the kitchen and set a pot to boil. The day was already turning warm, but the stone house still felt cold. Warm steam from the boiling pot wafted through the house and chased the chill out of the windows. Yngo felt comforted by the warmth as they prepared a simple meal and sat down to eat at the table. Girynni would be home soon, and if the news from Caldamea was good, that had to mean they’d found more ships worthy of repair. From the useful drawer under the table, Yngo pulled a small music player and several data chips. They shuffled through them until they found Girynni’s favorite, which was full of Old Republic songs recorded long before Irysi’s isolation.

Music filled the bright rooms and bounced off the stones. It conjured memories in Yngo’s mind of Girynni’s blue skin blending perfectly with the turquoise river water on a warm summer day. They loved to swim, and Yngo loved to watch them. Girynni always said it was the closest they could get to flying without a ship. Lost in daydreams, Yngo barely noticed the buzz of their communicator against the stone table. Jolting themself back to reality, Yngo heard Girynni’s voice crackle through the speaker.

“Yngo! Yngo! Are you there?” Girynni’s voice didn’t sound worried, but Yngo caught an unmistakable sense of urgency.

“Yes! Yes, I’m here!” Yngo replied with some confusion. “What’s going on?”

“You…you won’t believe what I’m seeing,” said Girynni. Their voice shook slightly with excitement. “Get down to the hangar bay NOW; as fast as you can!”

“Seriously, what’s going on?” Yngo was almost yelling into the static on the communicator. They jumped to their feet and doused the fire, running out of the door without bothering to turn off the music that floated through the windows of the little house out into the street.

“There’s a ship…a ship I’ve never seen before,” Girynni’s words ran together as they tried to say everything at once. “And it’s headed towards Prys. The scanner on the boat can’t give us much information. It doesn’t seem to belong to any official designation. I can’t see it yet, but it doesn’t seem to be large, probably no more than two crew.”

“A ship? An actual spacecraft?”

“Yes, and it’s not the one that Amilyn took. This is something new. Are you at the hangar yet?”

“Hang on a moment.” Yngo put the communicator back in their pocket and flung open the doors to the hangar bay. The mouth of the hangar still stood open, gaping out over the river. “Alright,” Yngo gasped into the communicator, trying to catch their breath after running through the city. “I’m here.”

“Get on the radio. See if you can make contact. Use the translator, I guess. Just do it! The curiosity is killing me.” Yngo could almost see Girynni’s excitement gushing out of the communicator.

“Okay! Give me a moment.” Yngo rushed to the side of the huge stone room. The old radio worked, they knew that. Girynni had repaired it so they could guide Amilyn on her way ten days ago. The translator pods were resting on a table nearby. There hadn’t been a need for them in the monolinguistic streets of Prys after Amilyn left. Girynni’s excitement was infectious, and yet at the back of Yngo’s mind was a slight sense of misgiving. Could it be that the First Order had finally stumbled upon the planet? Taking a deep breath, Yngo screwed one of the pods into their ear and picked up the radio. Static crackled on the other end and a single long beep sounded on the other side. There was a garbled voice, but Yngo couldn’t make anything out for sure.  

“We see you on our scanner…uh…please identify your ship and crew,” Yngo said awkwardly after the static subsided for a moment. There was another indistinct jumble of words from the approaching ship.

At last a familiar voice crackled over the stereo. “Yngo! You sound like you do this all the time!” Yngo heard Girynni’s gasp of surprise over the communicator. They couldn’t possibly have understood the words without a translator, but after all, there was no mistaking the voice of Amilyn Holdo as it echoed off the purple stones of the hangar bay and bounded out over the sea…

 

 ***

 

Leia awoke to a ping on the computer. She looked across at the monitor and saw a message flash across the screen indicating one hour until they reached Irysi. She remembered waking up in this bed on the way to Ach-To, waking from warm dreams of Amilyn to cold uncertainty. Today could not have been more different. Leia was curled in the curve of Amilyn’s body. Amilyn’s left arm was draped across Leia’s chest, and she could feel her breath on the back of her neck. She ran a hand slowly down Amilyn’s arm and over her long fingers. Interlacing her fingers over Amilyn’s, she raised her hand to her lips and kissed it. There was a small catch in Amilyn’s breathing and Leia felt her stir. Her left arm moved to Leia’s breast and she pulled her closer. Leia felt her lips brush against the back of her neck.

“Are we getting close?” Amilyn mumbled sleepily. The moisture of Amilyn’s breath tickled Leia’s skin sending warm shivers down her body.

“We’re less than an hour away.” Leia made to sit up, but Amilyn tightened her hold around her waist. Leia turned over and raised herself onto one elbow to look at Amilyn. Her silvery hair was disheveled and her eyes were still heavy with sleep.

“I like your hair better like this,” Amilyn said groggily. She reached up and ran her hand over the top of Leia’s head and down over the simple long braid, which was now unraveling slightly.

“There was never really any point to all the pomp and circumstance I put into it over the years,” Leia said with a sigh, twirling one of the free strands around her finger. “I guess it made me happy to braid it and think of Alderaan. It made it feel like somehow, the planet was still involved in the Resistance. Then it became something that was expected of me and I couldn’t give it up. But I’m past that now. I want a new life.” She paused, running her fingers over Amilyn’s cheek. “I guess that means new hair, too,” she finished with a slight laugh.

Amilyn ran her hand over the top of Leia’s head again, and then pulled her down into a kiss. Amilyn’s lips were soft and warm, and Leia melted into her arms. It was still so wonderfully strange to not have duties calling her away. The blazing moments of time spent with Amilyn Holdo shone in Leia’s memories like markers along the path she had taken to this day. But those had been moments. Now, her paradigm was shifting. The days with Amilyn stretched ahead of her, sparkling in the rising sun of a new world.

At last, they broke apart, and Leia asked, “So what about you? Are you going back to the colors, or will you leave your hair as it is?”

Amilyn smiled. “What do you think?”

“I like how it is now,” Leia mused, wrapping one silvery curl around her finger. “But I like the colors, too, and they’re so _you._ ”

“I guess I’ll have to see what sorts of dyes Irysi has to offer.” Amilyn turned onto her back, but Leia stayed propped on one elbow watching her. She traced one finger along Amilyn’s jawline and down her neck. Amilyn closed her eyes and relaxed under Leia’s touch, though Leia noticed her smile and squirm slightly as she brushed a sensitive spot near her collarbone.

After a minute or so, Amilyn opened her eyes and said, “Part of me kept dying my hair all those years because I so admired yours. It made you stand out – not that you wouldn’t have anyway, with a mind like yours – but somehow your hair was more than just an aesthetic; it was a reflection of you; it told a story. I guess I thought maybe mine could, too.”

“It did,” Leia said, with surety. “You were always a bit…eccentric, and your hair – among other things – let everyone know you weren’t going to toe anyone’s line.”

“Except maybe yours,” Amilyn said with a laugh. She turned her head on the pillow, gave Leia a glowing smile, and cupped her cheek in her hand. “My General,” she whispered earnestly. Leia leaned into Amilyn’s hand and lost herself in Amilyn’s icy blue eyes.

A ping on the computer brought them both back to the present and to their surroundings. Irysi was now only half an hour away. Leia pushed herself up from the bed and began sorting through the clothing that lay discarded along the corridor, tossing Amilyn’s things towards her and pulling on her own. The blue light of hyperspace flickered outside of the ship, sending dancing lights across the console. There was still no sign of Irysi on the holographic map, and Leia felt yet another sense of relief. They really were out of reach now.

Leia checked the fuel levels in the atmospheric engines and prepared to transition out of hyperspace. Behind her, she could hear Amilyn getting dressed and straightening the living quarters. It suddenly occurred to Leia that the question of where they would actually live once they arrived on Irysi was not one that they had spent any time discussing. They had both been too focused on leaving Arda before the First Order returned to spare thoughts on what would happen if they actually made it to their destination. In a pinch, the ship could serve as a temporary home, but Leia hoped they wouldn’t have to use it as such for long. The bed really wasn’t made for two people.

“Do you want to change before we arrive?” Amilyn called from the back of the ship. “It’s warmer in Prys than it was in Tinúviel.”

“Yes,” Leia called back. “Can you take over up here for a moment?”

Amilyn, already dressed in clothes from Irysi, joined her at the console and Leia made her way once more to the back of the ship, though not before running her fingers down Amilyn’s arm as she stepped away. She’d almost forgotten about the items she’d stored in the hold before leaving the Resistance. After all, there hadn’t been much need for clean clothes on Ahch-To. Everything was still in place in the hold, and Leia noticed a few additional items that Amilyn must have added from the _Raddus_ escape pod. She pulled on lightweight trousers from the _Raddus_ along with a loose-fitting top. She’d never had a colorful wardrobe, but judging by Amilyn’s clothes it seemed like Irysi might be the place to change that.

As she shoved the clothes she’d been wearing into the hold, her hand brushed against something round and hard. She pulled it out and examined it, though she’d known the moment she touched it what it was. The box was small, round, and white, with a thin band of silver running around the edge. She unscrewed the top to find – as she had expected – a lumpy, grayish mass that smelled horrible and wobbled like a rotten blancmange in the bottom of the container. Hoth alcohol was made from grass found deep beneath the snow, fermented with yeasts for several months, and then mixed with snow and an edible temperature stasis liquid. Kept in a permanently gelatinous, semi-frozen state, it would never spoil. It would also never taste like anything other than garbage.

With a grimace and a nostalgic smile, Leia screwed the top back onto the elegant container (it really was far too pretty to contain something so disgusting) and placed it back in the hold. She made her way back to the front of the ship and joined Amilyn at the console. Another ping from the computer alerted them to the proximity of Irysi’s coordinates. As she transitioned the ship from the hyperdrive to the engines, Leia saw the turquoise and white planet pop into view. Clouds swirled through the planet’s atmosphere, and for a second, she imagined how Amilyn must have felt all those weeks ago drifting towards this unknown world, far from anything familiar. Leia wondered if Amilyn had been able to take in the planet’s beauty on her first approach. If it had been her, Leia knew she would’ve been far too anxious to care about the turquoise-blue water and the ethereal white and gray landscape, but Amilyn had always had a knack for noticing beauty even in the darkest hours.

As if in response to Leia’s thoughts, Amilyn said, “I think it’s one of the most beautiful planets I’ve ever seen.” She was gazing out of the window, her eyes darting from the sea, to the land and the rivers, and over to the purple mountains now visible in contrast to the rolling white hills.

“It’s lovely!” said Leia, truthfully.

“I think I know where we are,” Amilyn continued after a few more seconds squinting towards the landmasses growing clearer and clearer. She pointed towards the edge of one landmass. “That’s where the city is – the city of Prys. We should descend over the sea and approach the city over the water.”

Leia adjusted the ship’s course slightly as Amilyn screwed a translator pod into her ear. As the upper atmosphere enveloped the ship, pink and orange flames licked harmlessly against the ship. Leia started the atmospheric engines, and they dropped further towards the sea. At last Leia could see the waves. The landmass to the east had fallen out of sight over the horizon, but as they sped eastwards, more and more birds could be seen diving into the waves below. The land couldn’t be far away.

Amilyn turned on the ship’s radio. No transmissions came in, but Leia hadn’t expected any, for no one was expecting them. Five minutes later, the land came into view in front of them, rising up out of the turquoise water like purple clouds topped with white. The violet cliffs glittered in the sunlight and the odd white matter that coated the land dripped over the sides like icing on a vast cake.

“Bear South a bit,” Amilyn said, pointing towards a break in the cliffs that could be seen out of the far-right pane of the window. “That’s the mouth of the river.”

As Leia adjusted their course, she saw a foamy trail on the northern horizon. A very fast boat was headed southwards along the coast. Further South, Leia could see more boats moving in many directions. Several of them were speeding west over the waves, while others circled around the mouth of the river. The city of Prys was just becoming visible at the mouth of the river when a voice crackled over the radio, making Amilyn gasp and Leia jump in surprise. Leia couldn’t understand the words, but Amilyn greeted the speaker joyfully. The translator pod was clearly in fine working order.

“Yngo!” Amilyn cried enthusiastically into the radio, “You sound like you do this all the time!” After exchanging a few words with the person on the radio, Amilyn turned back to Leia and said, “The hangar bay is open and Yngo is there! We’ll have to circle around the city a few times so the ship can cool down. That will give everyone a good show.”

Leia nodded and grasped Amilyn’s hand on top of the console. She’d never been here before, but somehow, this felt like a homecoming. The city was directly below them now, and Leia steered the ship in a wide circle around it, taking in the winding purple streets and the columns standing up from the ground below.

“The entrance to the hangar is on the north side of the city,” Amilyn said, pointing downwards. Leia circled lower over the river. It was hard to focus on flying when colorful birds and fish kept catching her eye. Amilyn hadn’t exaggerated the beauty of this planet _._

A minute later, Leia pulled the ship into the hangar bay and landed facing outwards towards the river and the plains. She and Amilyn collected what few belongings they had from the hold in the back of the ship. They barely had enough to fill one of the sacks Amilyn had taken from the _Raddus_ escape pod. Leia tossed the small container of Hoth alcohol at Amilyn, who caught it with a grin. Leia raised an eyebrow at her, and Amilyn rolled her eyes and threw it into the sack with everything else.

“Journey’s end?” Amilyn asked quietly when everything was packed.

“Yes, my love,” Leia replied, holding tight to her hand. “Journey’s end.” Leia pressed the button for the landing dock. There was a hiss of escaping air and a bit of steam as the air pressure within the ship released (air density and gravity were both slightly below average on Irysi). As the steam cleared, Leia could see a tall person with green skin standing at the bottom of the ramp – this had to be Amilyn’s friend, Yngo. As soon as the dock touched the floor of the hangar, they rushed forward and embraced Amilyn. Leia saw joy and gratitude in Amilyn’s face.

“It’s good to be back,” Amilyn said to Yngo. “This is Leia.” As she said her name, Amilyn placed one hand on her chest and held the other out towards Leia. Yngo nodded and turned towards Leia.

“Welcome,” they signed. Leia watched their elegant hands carefully. She was out of practice with signing, and Yngo’s dialect was old fashioned. “We are honored to welcome you to Prys. Though we know only part of your story from the scattered tales that have reached us here, we consider you to be a great hero.”

“We couldn’t be happier to have arrived here at last,” Leia signed back. Her hands felt clumsy with lack of use. She hadn’t used signs for years. “Amilyn speaks very highly of you and your city.”

“We hope you will both be happy here.” Yngo clasped Leia’s hand for a moment. Then, turning to Amilyn, they tugged the sack out of her hands and beckoned them down the ramp into the hangar. “I’ll take you to our house,” Yngo signed with one hand.

“Where’s Girynni?” Amilyn asked as they left the hangar.

“They’re on their way back here now,” Yngo replied. “They can explain better when they return, but they’re the reason I knew you were coming. They saw your ship from their boat.”

“You must miss them,” Amilyn said.

“Yes,” Yngo replied with a sad smile. “Of course.”

Leia lost track of Amilyn and Yngo’s conversation as she stepped into the bright sun of Prys. She ran her hand along the stones on one side of the alley and felt rough crystals under her fingers. As they emerged onto the main street, Leia could see the wall of the city and the ocean beyond. Far across the sea, dark clouds were gathering. She strode out in front of Amilyn and Yngo and leaned against the wall looking out at the waves. Fish jumped, and birds dived from great heights to catch them.

“It will rain later,” Amilyn said, laying a hand gently on Leia’s shoulder. “I like the rain here.” Amilyn paused and leaned over the wall next to her, looking down at the churning water. “We should walk around the city tomorrow. I didn’t have a chance to really enjoy it when I was here because I was busy fixing that damn ship, and I want to hear more about what happened on Crait, and about Master Yoda, and about all the time we spent apart!”

Leia smiled at her and pulled herself away from the view. “There’s an awful lot to tell – several decades worth,” she said, taking Amilyn’s hand. “But maybe there will finally be enough time to tell it all, and you know, we never really debriefed about that last day on the _Raddus._ ”

“Ah, yes,” Amilyn said, with a hint of sarcasm, “my most recent death-day.”

Leia laughed. “Indeed.”

“Come on,” Amilyn said, with a tug on her hand. “Yngo is waiting.”

As they walked northwards along the outer wall of the city, Leia heard music in the distance. At the end of the street, there was a house with the windows open, and an Old Republic dance song was drifting out onto the street.

“Sorry,” Yngo signed as they approached the house. “I left it on when Girynni called about your ship.”

The house was bright and warm. The weather was becoming humid as the low-pressure system swept in over the sea, but inside, the air felt dryer and less oppressive. Amilyn led Leia excitedly through the rooms, pointing out interesting textiles and intriguing patterns in the stonewalls. She told Leia about the rysh that sat in buckets at every fireplace and showed her the tiny tubes of solar energy by the window. From the drawer under the dining table, Yngo pulled another translation gadget. Leia screwed it into her ear and the three of them sat down to talk. Yngo placed cool drinks before them along with a plate of salty, seaweed biscuits. Amilyn began filling Yngo in on everything that had happened on Arda, and Leia listened intently as she explained the story of Tinúviel and the events of the battle. 

“And what about you?” Yngo said, turning to Leia as Amilyn’s story ended. “Your name is known throughout the galaxy, but I’m afraid that most people here view you as a legend rather than as flesh and blood.”

“I’m adjusting,” Leia said after a moment. After all the years under public scrutiny, it felt odd to _want_ to tell her story, and even stranger to have someone asking who didn’t know it already. Somehow, Yngo invited confidence, and it was different now that her choices were hers alone. “After leaving the Resistance, I had the privilege to learn the ways of the Force from Master Yoda,” Leia began.

“Master Yoda?” Yngo said in surprise. “He was the Jedi who helped protect Irysi from the notice of the Sith and then the Empire. We were under the impression that he died many years ago.”

“He did,” Leia confirmed, “but he, like Jedi before him, has learned the secrets of communing with the living from beyond this life. He spoke to Luke on the island, too.”

“It is clear to me that there is much we do not know about the last sixty years,” Yngo said. “Your tales will fill in the gaps, I think, between the scattered news that has reached us.”

“How did you gather news without interplanetary ships?” Amilyn asked. Leia heard a curiosity in her voice that indicated she’d wanted to ask the question for a while.  

“We intercepted transmissions passing through our sector. We used old codes – ones that the Empire couldn’t detect or recognize – to reveal encrypted information from their databases.”

“Was there ever a movement to join the Rebellion?” Leia asked. 

“Oh, yes,” Yngo said, with a hint of defensiveness., “Of course. But our humanoid population was decimated by an epidemic shortly after we isolated ourselves from the Old Republic. By the time the plague ran its course, there were only a couple thousand of us left, and our main city was uninhabitable. The ships there fell into disrepair, and eventually their location was forgotten. When word reached us of the Rebellion, we no longer had the technology to reach out to anyone. Some hopeful young people born after the plague – my partner Girynni among them – went back to Caldamea and looked at the ships. The Teroch-type gunship was flyable – or so we thought. It was brought to this city, almost at the cost of the crew’s lives. When the Empire fell, we’d barely made progress on it. Girynni never lost hope, but many others did. There are still so few of us, but perhaps this is a new dawn. If Girynni returns with good news from Caldamea, there’s a chance we’ll be able to send a small group of fighters to Arda. From there, they can join the Resistance.”

“You’re doing all you can,” Leia said reassuringly, laying a hand on Yngo’s arm. “Any Irysians who make their way to the Resistance will be welcome.”

“Will you ever go back?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Leia said, and this time it felt real. “At least, if I do go back,” she continued, “I won’t be their General. I’ll just be…me. Leia.” She’d been sure since leaving the Resistance that this was the end of her leadership, and yet every time she’d said it aloud, she’d felt outside of herself, as though she was watching herself say words that weren’t truly her own. “I’ll do what I can to prepare anyone who wants to join our friends in the Resistance, but I’m not a warrior anymore.” She looked across the table at Amilyn whose eyes were full of the understanding that she sought, and then she turned back to Yngo. “It’s time I made my own way in the world.”

“Are you going to stay here on Irysi?” Yngo asked them both.

“Yes, I think so,” Amilyn said, “At least for a while. I’d like to go back and visit Arda again sometime, but I think Irysi will be our home.”

Leia nodded. “I want to learn more about the Jedi and visit sacred sites perhaps, if the galaxy is ever safe from the First Order again. But I’ll – _we’ll_ – need a place to return to.”

“Neither of us has ever managed to stay in one place for long,” Amilyn said, “But as Leia said, I think it’s time we had a home.”

Yngo smiled. “Your experience and wisdom will be valued here. There’s a house close by that’s been empty for a long time. It belonged to my family, but no one lives there now. It needs many repairs, but it might suit you once we’ve fixed it up. The windows look northwards and eastwards, towards the plains and the mountains. I heard there were mountains…” Yngo paused and looked abashedly at Leia.

“Mountains where?” Leia prompted them, nonplussed.

“Mountains on Alderaan,” Yngo finished quietly. They looked worried about Leia’s reaction.

“Yes, there were mountains,” Leia said looking with kindness into Yngo’s slightly nervous face. “There were mountains on Alderaan. And they were glorious. I would like to live in a house where I could see mountains again.”

“That sounds ideal,” Amilyn said, breaking the tension of the somber moment. “We’d love to see it.”

 “We can take you there tomorrow,” Yngo offered, “After the rains have passed.”

Sure enough, outside the windows, the first few raindrops of the promised storm were splashing onto the purple stones. Minutes later, a tall person with blue skin and a warm smile shook rain from their clothes as they entered the house. Yngo hurried to embrace them and led them to the table. Amilyn rose and embraced them, too.  

“This is Girynni,” Yngo said with the hand-over-heart gesture that Leia had seen earlier. Girynni mirrored Yngo’s movements, extending a hand towards them. Amilyn responded with the same gesture and a hand stretched out to Leia. Yngo passed Girynni a translator pod and they both sat down at the table.

“It’s a great honor to meet you, General Organa,” Girynni said, turning to Leia. “We’ve heard much about you over the years, and much more from Amilyn.”

“Yngo filled me in on all you did over the years in an attempt to help the Rebellion and the Resistance,” Leia said, “You carried on without expectation of thanks. Had it not been for people like you throughout the galaxy, the Resistance would have no hope at all.”

“I think we may have finally made a breakthrough that will allow us to help,” Girynni said with excitement. They looked around the table excitedly. Yngo placed a hand on their arm. “We found several ships, and we think they will be flyable, with Amilyn’s help anyway. If it’s not too late, General Organa…

“Call me Leia, please,” Leia said with a wave of her hand, “I’m not the General anymore.”

“ _Leia_ , if it’s not too late, we want to send two dozen volunteers to the Resistance as soon as the ships are working.”

“Two dozen?” Amilyn asked in surprise.

“I know it’s not many,” Girynni said, blushing, “but…”

“My friend,” Amilyn interrupted them. “It is more than we could’ve hoped!” She glanced at Leia, who caught her eye. “If they can get to Arda, our friends there will help them reach the Resistance.”

“They don't have any training,” Girynni said, “and they don’t speak your language.”

“Shouldn’t be a problem,” Amilyn said, “We have a friend who is ‘fluent in over seven million forms of communication.’” She caught Leia’s eye as she imitated C-3PO’s affected tones.

Leia snorted with laughter and turned to Girynni again. “The Resistance will be grateful for your help. We lost…far too many people in our last battle…”

“…And who knows what’s happened since we left,” Amilyn said.

Not for the first time, Leia felt a cold pang in her stomach. _Should I have stayed? Should Amilyn and I return now?_ She’d been so sure that moving on was the right choice, and yet Amilyn was right. There might be no Resistance for the Irysians to join.

As if in response to Leia’s thoughts, Yngo jumped into the conversation. “We know the First Order is still looking for the Resistance. We picked up a First Order transmission not long after Amilyn left. There haven’t been any major conflicts since the Battle of Crait.”

Leia felt relieved for the moment. “Two dozen people will be a huge help to the Resistance wherever they are,” she said. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help you prepare.”

“I left several sailors in Caldamea with the ships,” Girynni said. “They will try to fly the ships down here in the next couple of days. If that isn’t possible, we’ll have to send one of our large boats to transport them. I don’t think we’ll have to do that. At least one of the ships seems to be in even better condition than the Teroch-type gunship we gave to Amilyn. The ships were hidden in a hangar under the sea. It’s no wonder they weren’t discovered before. At one time, the entrance would’ve been more obvious, but the rocks on the cliffs have shifted since the old days. Maneuvering the ships out of the hangar will take some skill, but maybe someone with your experience can manage it.”

“We’ll be happy to help,” Leia said reassuringly. “I think it will take both of us some time to adjust to quiet retirement. We can act from the shadows and help gather the next generation. Amilyn is exceptional with computers. I’m sure she can get a cryptic message out to more isolated planets.” Leia caught a bemused look in Yngo’s eye. “What?” she asked.

“Don’t you know?” Yngo asked.

Leia shook her head and glanced at Amilyn, whose face bore a knowing smile.

Yngo sighed and reached across the stone table to grasp her hand. “Your call has already been heard. Across the galaxy, the people are rising. Irysi wasn't the only planet to hide itself away. There were others, and I am certain that they, too, have watched from afar. The Force is drawing people together in radical hope, calling them to rise up against the First Order.”

“Hope without guarantees,” Leia murmured, almost to herself.

“There’s never a guarantee,” Amilyn said with a firm hand on Leia’s shoulder. “You taught me that. ‘Hope is like the sun,’ you used to say, ‘if you only believe it when you can see it…”

“I know, I know,” said Leia, “but it’s good to hear someone else say it. On Crait, I thought all hope was lost. I really did. It felt like the end, until Luke showed up, anyway. We all thought that the signals had gone unanswered, and afterwards we never stopped to consider that all we needed was _time_.” Leia thought back to the darkness of that battle, to her own despair. “After Crait, I told them we had everything we needed, but I didn’t know how true that was,” she said. “I said it because it’s what they needed to hear, but now I can see that it would’ve been true even if I’d said it in our darkest hour. Even if none of us had made it through that day.”

“Exactly,” said Girynni. “The First Order will fall, just like the Empire before it. Tyranny isn’t a sustainable enterprise, and the fight against it is bigger than the Republic or the Resistance.”

“Don’t you see?” Yngo said, “You were never alone.” They patted Leia’s hand once before rising from the table and walking over to the appliances in the corner. They began taking out pans and ingredients for a meal.

The old house down the lane from Yngo and Girynni’s consisted of three narrow stories. The top floor was set above the nearby dwellings, and through the upper windows, the mountains were clearly visible. _Like Alderaan_ , Leia thought. Old, cracked furniture filled some of the rooms, and others stood empty, covered in dust and old wires. The stones were cold and bare, but Yngo and Girynni said there were many places to acquire textiles in Prys to soften the rooms. As Leia stood in one of the upper rooms looking westward at the mountains, she heard Amilyn climbing the stairs behind her.

“So, what do you think?” Amilyn asked, coming to stand next to Leia and throwing an arm around her shoulders.

Leia turned to face her. “It’s perfect, Amilyn,” Leia said. “Really.”

“Do you think we’re kidding ourselves about wanting a quiet life?”

“Probably.” Leia laughed and caught Amilyn’s eye. “I want to explore those mountains, fly around this whole world, watch Yngo and Girynni’s friends set out to join the Resistance.” There was something immensely satisfying in the idea that they could help from way out here. “What about you?” she asked Amilyn, looking back at the mountains.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” said Amilyn, with a sigh. “We’ll see how I feel in a few weeks. Who knows? We might be entirely bored by then and decide to rush back to fighting.”

“Maybe,” said Leia, “but it’s you and me from now on, even if we go back. I’m sick of hiding this, hiding _us_.”

“Agreed,” said Amilyn with a nod.

Leia smiled. Whatever came next, they would face it together. She closed her eyes and reached out with her mind. She felt the strength of the stones of Prys, the weight of the rysh on the ground below. She felt the sea and the wind and the boats moving in patterns over the waves. She felt the whole planet, full of life and history and potential, spinning through space around its sun. She felt again the movement of the galaxy itself, a swirling mass of light and dark possibility: all it was, and all it could be. She felt Amilyn standing next to her; she felt her own heartbeat. The Force moved through all of it, beckoning her to consider its mystery. And she would follow.

_Postlude: “Right Now,” by Ellis_

[ _https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57D5PBGKdmg_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57D5PBGKdmg)

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Acknowledgements:
> 
> This work is dedicated to Laura Dern and Carrie Fisher for their inspiring performances of these characters. It is also dedicated to Ursula K. Le Guin, who passed away shortly after I began writing this. Her books are incredible, and I highly recommend them. 
> 
> Many thanks also to my beta readers, including Marissa, T.P. and Chris. <3 
> 
> BONUS - Here are some absolutely fantastic quotes from Carrie Fisher's memoir, The Princess Diarist
> 
> “I liked being Princess Leia. Or Princess Leia’s being me. Over time I thought we’d melded into one. I don’t think you could think of Leia without my lurking in that thought somewhere…Who do I think I would’ve been if I hadn’t been Princess Leia? Am I Princess Leia, or is she me? Split the difference and you’d be closer to the truth.”
> 
> “I don’t just want you to like me, I want to be one of the most joy-inducing human beings that you’ve ever encountered.”
> 
> “It turns out that it/she matters to me: Leia…Sometimes I feel as if I’d rather concern myself with…almost anything. But as it happens I’ve spent the lion’s share of my life, starting at nineteen and continuing forty years on jauntily in the present, being as much myself as Princess Leia. Answering questions about her, defending her, fed up with being mistaken for her, overshadowed by her, struggling with my resentment of her, making her my own, finding myself, keeping company with her, loving her…wishing she’d finally just go away and leave me to be myself alone, but then wondering who I’d be without her, finding out how proud I am of her, making sure I’m careful to not do anything that might reflect badly on her or that she might disapprove of, feeling honored to be her representative here on earth, her caretaker, doing my best to represent her, trying to understand how she might feel, doing what I can to be worthy of the gig, and then feeling beyond ridiculous and wishing that it would just fade away.”
> 
> Rest in Peace, Space Mom. <3 
> 
> Finale: “Princess Leia’s Theme” from Star Wars (1977), by John Williams  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtkuZbcZORE


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